Do you give your kids leftovers?

United States
November 27, 2007 6:19pm CST
I'm wondering how many parents give their children leftovers? Please read before you reply: I heard a blurb on the radio the other day that asked the same question. Do you give your children leftovers? My first response was, yes, of course I do. Hearing the rest of the commerical it was obvious that they weren't talking about leftovers from the previous nights dinner. Instead do you give your kids your leftover energy ... your leftover attention ... your leftover affection, praise and love? I immediately thought, no, that's not me. But, then I started thinking about the time I spend on the internet or on the phone or watching TV and the times when I get annoyed because they're interupting me from these things. I'm just wondering if you've stopped to take an inventory lately of how your time is spent and if you're giving your children the leftovers or the first fruits?
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
28 Nov 07
What a wonderful discussion topic Imadriscoll! A plus rating for it! My youngest child is now 35; but when I was raising them as a single mom most of the time, I was also working quite a lot. In fact, I worked 2 jobs. It was great if I was able to sit and have a meal with all of them more than twice a week. But I made certain that at least once a month that I had the same day off from both jobs. On that day, all but one of the children would go to school and the other would stay home with me. We would first run errands - go to the grocery, do banking, etc.; and then the rest of the day was OURS! We would go to a McDonald's and make a Plan Of Action as to what we were going to do. A lot depended on their age, but sometimes it was a movie, sometimes it was a picnic, sometimes it was going back home and playing board games and reading, sometimes it was going to the beauty shop. The following month would be another child's turn. This rotation went on for years and those days are still very dear to us. ~Donna
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
I love that you made the decision to give them the time that you did have. I imagine that those days with mom were very special for them and will be treasured memories long after you pass (not that I'm expecting that any time soon!). This is a great lesson for all of us to heed... there are plenty of us who are able to stay at home with our children and don't give them the attention that you gave your children because we get caught up in other things of less importance. Perhaps I'll use that as my excuse to put off the laundry one more day! ;)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Thank you Ima! Those were sweet words and I really needed them today. ~Donna
@brokentia (10394)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Great question and food for thought....pun intended. ha ha I think I am doing good in giving my kids the first of the picks. I had went back to work and it ended up taking me away from my children so much that I hardly saw them and it was just not working out well. So, I quit that job and ended up taking a job that I wouldn't add to my resume because it is just fast food and hours while my children are in school. But it is an extra few bucks. So, I work only when they are in school and I am here for them until they go to bed. Then if I am not too tired, I might go to the computer or read a book. Which...I will admit that isn't much "me time" but I guess I will get plenty of "me time" when they move out. ha ha
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
I think there are a lot of parents who are more worried about their resumes then they are their children's well-being. I would work fast food over a job that demanded too much of my attention. I know from other conversations how much you love your children and this is another example of how you've put their needs before what others might think is better.
• Lampe, Missouri
28 Nov 07
I am a mother of 3 girls and i have to say that there are times they do get my leftovers but for the most part i try to give them some attention each day. school days we sit and do home work well my oldest and i then the books she brings home we read them together all three kids and myself. we also have was we call family movie time. use to my hubby got off work then worked more at home and did not spend time with the kids. then he started spending more time with the kids and i was on the computer more starting up my business. together we desided that we did not need to keep doing this and that the kids would not be little long. now every night after we eat we sit and chat or watch a moive together as a family. computer turns off and shop light's are turned off. FAMILY TIME and since our girls like to dance and all after the movie is over we alway lison to the creadits and the girls do a nice dance show for us. there should never NOT be time for your kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
It's admirable to both you and your husband that you've realized your need for family time. I'm sure that will leave a lasting impression on your children for years to come and will hopefully impact the lives of your future grandchildren. Our kids love to dance to the credits of movies too ... it's one of my most favorite times.
• India
28 Nov 07
This is such a great discussion, congratulations for coming up with this one. It really got me thinking. I have just one child and one of the reasons I think like I don;t want to have another one is because there is so much to give up, main thing being "my time". Yes, what a selfish way to think, I mean what is a little time with the computer or TV or going out as compared to the joys of being a mother again, but honestly, a child does bind you and I am guilty of sometimes getting annoyed for not being able to indulge. When you hear of things like " a child is a 24 hour commitment" it does seem like an exaggeration, but ask parents and they would agree, most of them ! I try and do nothing but pay attention to my baby when she is awake and around but there is a certain schedule i like to follow too, which gives me my personal space and yeah when I am doing things like writing ( I love writing), talking to my friends, i do pay only half the attention and i realized it now when you asked this question. yes, I give my child the leftover attention at times and it makes me feel so guilty.
• United States
29 Nov 07
I think that every parent knows how much time and energy and other resources they have to give their children. And honestly if you need your "my time" and don't want to give that up it is good that you're aware of that before you have another child. I have 3 children ages 4 1/2, 3, and 2 and I'm pregnant with #4 and there is not a lot of "my time" -- but one thing that I have noticed with having children so close together is that they entertain each other and that gets me "off the hook" sometimes when I need to do housework or just take a breather.
@garnet80 (354)
• Australia
28 Nov 07
I think the amount of attention we give our kids varies from day to day depending on what we are doing,what they are doing and what is happening in our day. It's a very valid point to look at and consider though. You have made me stop and think, thank you. The other question is can we give our children too much attention. I don't think you can but some people might think so.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
It does vary from day to day and there are things that cannot be avoided. There are a lot of people who are going through crisis and other things where they have to be away from the children more then they would like to be. I'm glad it made you stop and think, it did the same for me. I do think that I know of some parents that give their children too much attention ... but perhaps that's another discussion all togheter.
• United States
28 Nov 07
I will admit that each of my children does not get full attention at all time. There are times I must do other things (like make dinner, do laundry, try to earn extra money) and then they are not first in line but I do try to give each of them special time each day. It is easy to do with my toddler since I'm with her all day. It is harder with my middle schooler but we spend time each evening with me snuggling in bed with her talking about whatever is on her mind. It is nearly impossible with my college aged child because our lives are in such different directions but I try to find time with just her when I can.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
That's really cool that you spend time with your daughter snuggling, especially since she's a middle schooler ... I remember that being such a hard age. It's great that you spend the time to bond and talk to her, I wish my mom would have done that - I could have avoided some heartache! Kudos mom!
• United States
28 Nov 07
i know i always make time for my children in the evening when they first get home from school. Then at dinner we talk about everyones day. then we also have are own night time routine.
• United States
29 Nov 07
It's good that you make time for your children. I also know that having the same night routine really helps children quite a bit.