First or last name?
By blueunicorn
@blueunicorn (2401)
United States
November 30, 2007 2:52pm CST
How do you decide who to address by their first name and who to address by their last name? Last names are really going out of style, it seems. When I was teaching Sunday School it seemed customary to address the teachers by Mr. or Ms. First Name. That seemed strange to be, but I guess it is better than nothing. On the other hand I am in close contact with my daughter's school teacher. I always address her by Mrs. Last Name. I think it is a sign of respect, and as a school teacher she deserves that respect. She, however, addresses me by my first name. I found that insulting at first, especially the first several times we had contact. I don't know, maybe I am old fashioned. Does age make a difference? What do you think?
3 people like this
7 responses
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I have aquired this little habit of addressing people mainly my elders, with Miss and their first name. Even if they are a Mrs. No matter who they are. I don't deal with teachers, but if I did, I would use Mrs/Mr and their last name, just for respect like you said.
I seem to only do this with women, I call men by their first name. Unless I'm in a professional situation or something, or they ask me to call them by their first name. It really just depends on who I'm talking too really.
At first when I read this, I had Christmas Cards on the brain and I thought that is what you were talking about by addressing someone. LOL
Bay Lay Gray xx
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I guess in a professional situation, I would refer to a woman with Mrs or whats appropriate then their last name too. An extended relationship might get me to calling them the Miss and first name bit.
LOL I think it's time I take a break from myLot. Sorry for rattling!!
Bay xx
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Bay, do you think your habit comes from the way we are in society now? How were you raised to address others? I see that you and I are about the same age. It's interesting the differences in our thoughts, so I wonder if it is a difference in our upbringing. I know my parents were very old fashioned, and I would have called everyone by Mr./ Mrs. Last Name until otherwise asked.
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Well I think it's cultural really. I learned this from my black friends. The people that I'm close too never address any of their elders with just their first name. And if they did, their mother would correct them, no matter how old we were!! lol It became a habit when visiting for holidays and most of the family was in one place. I didn't have a lot of contact with my own family, so my friends families were mine.
Bay xx
1 person likes this
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
2 Dec 07
I tend to follow the other persons example. If they address me by my surname, then I do the same to them. I have found though, that they will often say 'calll me....' As for schools, they are getting away from surname basis here. The thought is that we are all equal and kids are called by first name, so why not teachers. I like it though, it doesn't make schooling seem so formal.
1 person likes this
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
3 Dec 07
You stuffy old bat you! lol. I was meaning for primary schools! lol. Children that are under about 8 have a hard time understanding why a teacher calls them by their first name and they have to call them by their surname! in high school, for me, it was upto the teachers what we called them. Some of the older and much younger teachers prefered first name, because it was more relaxed for them and they found they could better relate to the students. In the last 2 years, it was all first name basis and when I studied agriculture, it was too, but then again, I worked and studied there! lol.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
2 Dec 07
I wouldn't like the use of first names in the classroom. To me that is disrespectful, because teachers and students are not equal. A teacher is an authority figure. I can see how it would make schooling less formal and more relaxed. It may be a culture difference for us, though. Here in the U.S. our kids need to learn how to respect authority more right now, not given the idea that everyone is equal. Then again, I could just be a stuffy old bat! LOL
1 person likes this
@liera0 (280)
• Philippines
1 Dec 07
I usually used Firstnames when calling my students. Eversince I had a class where 4 students having same family name. My teachers.. I still address them with their Lastnames. I usually call people with teir firstnames. Those that I see as friends I usually call with their nicknames or on the names they want to be called.
1 person likes this
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
1 Dec 07
i would tell your daughter's teacher that you would like to be called by your mrs. last name. i think some people when you addressed them for example mr or mrs. blank they remark just call me sam or sylvia for example.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I'm okay with her calling me by my first name now, but when we first met we didn't have a working relationship. And, our first several encounters were on the negative side as my daughter was being bullied and I didn't feel the teacher was taking it seriously. I guess what it came down to is that I felt my first name was being used in a negative way. Does that even make sense? Anyway, now that I volunteer in the classroom once a week it has really changed and she does refer to as Mrs. Last Name in front of the students so it's all good.
@jayjose (102)
• Philippines
4 Dec 07
for me, how you address people, may it be by first name or last name, shows your relationship with them. I often use Mr/Ms Last Name if i'm not that close (in terms of relationship) with them, i only use the first name if we know each other for a long time, friends, relatives, etc...
1 person likes this
@redbubbles (329)
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
i address my friends, relatives and officemates by their first names. I always address the boss, high ranking officials (in school and other outside offices), faculty members as sir or mam. I always address my daugther and son's teachers as mam. We usually don't use Mr. or Mrs. Last Name, instead we use sir or mam.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
4 Dec 07
Wow, that sounds even more formal than the use of Mr. and Mrs. In my opinion we need to move more towards that in America. I think being too informal leads to our kids thinking they are on the same level as the teachers and other authority figures. Kids should know their place, and it wouldn't hurt for us adults to get back to some courtesy, too! I guess I'm just down on our culture lately, as everyone seems so uncaring of each other.
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
15 Aug 10
Teachers we always addressed by their title and then their last name. So we'd say Mr. / Mrs. Blankety Blank. Other elders it all just depended. I would call my grandparents neighbors by their first name, though the children and grandchildren of the neighbors would call my grandparents Mr. And Mrs. Their last name. I know that is odd that I would do that, but I was just raised to call them as such and was never corrected.
As for others that I don't come in contact with that often, I might say sir or ma'am.
