What makes a marriage last?
@aidenofthetower (1814)
United States
November 30, 2007 6:01pm CST
I have been married two years now (just over). It has been a crazy two years. In that time we have survived a pregnancy that had me sick most of the time, had a baby, moved from Michigan to Wisconsin, had my disabled mom move in with us, and moved from Wisconsin to Texas. Though sometimes it is hard (especially living with my mom in a 1000 sq ft two bedroom apartment and having the baby, now 16 months sleep in our closet), we still believe that marriage is forever. Divorce isn't an option. In today's world that isn't the norm. So, I was wondering, what makes a marriage last?
4 people like this
14 responses
@miracleworld (201)
• India
1 Dec 07
i think proper understanding of eachothers characters makes a marriage last long ..
regards
Harry
1 person likes this
@chargoans (939)
• United States
1 Dec 07
Personalities are so important, and hopefully the partner's personality played a bigger role in getting married than say good looks. If you can share a laugh with the person, cry with that person and hurt when that person hurts, and tell them ANYthing, then a marriage will work. But begin to hide thoughts or feelings from your partner and that's when all hell breaks loose! :-)
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Dec 07
Don't we all wish we knew that? Can we really do anything other than our best?
My own marriage is only 3 1/2 years old, though my relationship is 8 1/2 years old. I too had a rough pregnancy, and worried both about dying and about my child dying. I have a lot of serious health problems, my husband has a lot of serious health problems, and our 1 1/2 year old son has had seizures. I have post-traumatic stress disorder, which also doesn't help. My marriage has survived going from monogamous to polyamorous and back again... and is still going.
We've talked about divorce a time or two. But we haven't done it. Why? Not because I really believe divorce is not an option. There are some situations where I would get a divorce in a heartbeat (a partner who abused me or my child for instance)... however, for some reason, my husband and I have stayed together through everything. We do our best, that is all.
@smacksman (6053)
•
1 Dec 07
A good sense of humour is pretty vital.
Sometimes there is not a lot to laugh about but when there is a glimmer of the possibility of a smile then it is good to let one shine through.
I know nothing about divorce having only been married once and that was 37 years ago.
But I see it all around me nowadays. What amazes me is the perfection people insist on in their partners. I mean they divorce someone who is not perfect and then agonise for ages when they can't find Mr. Perfect!
@mommy20212004 (350)
• United States
1 Dec 07
There are several things that make a marriage last. The ones I believe in the most are trust, honesty and without a doubt respect. You have to have respect for your spouse in order to respect your marriage vows.
@1968dawn (20)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I think the biggest thing that holds a marriage together is a conviction that you will stick with the marriage. My husband and I have been through tramatic births, financial stressors, addiction problems and other day-to-day troubles. Even when we have been frustrated and unable to connect and talk, we have both rested on our conviction. It makes a person look for other alternatives to just leaving the marriage. Another thing that is helpful is that when we really don't feel like loving each other, we try to remember what brought us together, what we love about each other. Time outs are helpful, where we agree to disagree and not talk for a while - this is different from the silent treatment. And finally, our biggest savior is that we pray for each other daily. It helps us get through the times we don't much like each other. We pray for each other and for our marriage. We've been married 15 years now. Our parents set a good model for marriage too - his parents have been married 50 years and mine have been married 60 years.
@smartbrain69 (2790)
• Canada
1 Dec 07
One and only one thing that is TRUST to make ever lasting relation.
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
1 Dec 07
I am probably the wrong person to answer this, since my own marriage failed after seven years (yes I know seven year itch and all that), but then again maybe I am the perfect person to answer it.
Communication is key, as soon as you stop talking your marriage is doomed. Your marriage can survive any hardship as long as you guys talk about it and discuss it rationally. If you keep things bottled up it will crash and burn.
@asgtswife04 (2475)
• United States
1 Dec 07
oh my goodness...it sounds like you have been through so much in those two years. i'm so sorry to hear of all the difficult challanges you have been having to deal with. the thing is that you and your husband need to find some time for the two of you. just you two. i don't know ifyou have anyone that can watch your baby or not, but it's vitially important that you get the romance and the spontanety back into your relationship. it needs to be like you two were dating again. I hope that tings work out for the two of you. I will be praying for you and please keep us posted on how things go. God bless
@mandeep_narang (108)
• India
1 Dec 07
best marriage is b/w 2 forgiving couples who are faithful to each other,ready to adjust in all conditions..bible says 3 fold cord that is jesus christ,husband,wife .jesus christ beaing the head of the family the cord is not broken easily
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
1 Dec 07
Communication. That to me is the first most important thing in a good marriage. You need to keep talking to each other and always state your feelings. Never lie to your spouse. Never try to hide anything. Always respect your spouse and their feelings and ideas even if you don't agree with them. Always respect the others opinions. Ask for things to be done, not order them to be done. And kindness. No matter what always be kind to each other. Never say anything to the other that you wouldn't want said to you. Compromise.
@husi_007 (304)
• India
1 Dec 07
I am not yet married and I don't have any serious relationships either.So, I really don't 'know' what makes a relationship last long.
But I think there are somethings which are very important in a marriage.The mutual understanding and the readiness to forgive any mistakes are the key things that I think will help a marriage last longer !
@Shubhangimm (14)
• India
1 Dec 07
Dear Marriage is Bond which is betwween two persons , and both of them have to strive to keep it going .
I know post pregnancy womens goes from stress full life but its for year or two then all becomes normal
Look at baby its your both creation to the world
now you are a mother and a teacher of the baby for the life
he has to face the world
you have to teach him so
Try to spend time playing with him (both u and ur husband)
Then after he goes to sleep
Both try and sit romancing in the moon light
devote time to each other