listening

some people truly listen well. some people pretend to listen but they are more concerned on what they will respond. some people don't actually listen. they are totally focused on what they have to say. i agree with you that listening is essential in any relationships. it creates understanding, builds trust, and grows love. what is then the problem of others? why can't they listen? probably they are scared of the truth. or perhaps they are so egoistic that what they say are the only ones that matter. whatever it is, we need to listen to each other. most conflicts are caused by having one side not listening.

I always listen when my hubby is talking to me. If I'm doing something like posting in mylot, and my husband has something to say to me, I stop what I am doing and listen to him. I feel if he has something to say I should respect him enough to listen. I can always come back to the computer when we have finished talking. But I hear you. A lot of relationships aren't like that. I think your right about a lot of people not knowing how to communicate with each other. I think you are right that this is the reason a lot of relationships break up.

and thats human! i think its because human tend to satisfy first what he wants, what he thinks he must do. I have read a book about our brain how fast it sends commands to other parts to tell what to do thats why communication is part of our studies. we need to know how and when to control our actions and not just let it act as it wants. its all about emotional intelligence. hopefully we would be able to control our automatic actions/reactions to develop better relationship with others.

I am a good listener, although i hate when people is acting that are following my conversation. Sometimes i talk a lot, sometimes i prefer listening. When i was going through an hard time, i had that need to talk with someone. In that time i had a "best friend", that listened sometimes. I was never and i am not that kind of person that when does a favor waits for something in return, i'm not like that, but if i need help and if my best friend wants to chat with me about it, i really appreciate. We were in a coffee talking, but she wasn't listening at all, she was always looking at the street, looking to people that were passing by, and always saying "ah?" "what did you said?". Well, if she was the one that told me: "when you need help, come to me, i consider you my best friend, so i will do whatever possible to make you better", and she was doing nothing. She was that kind of person that only chats about what she wants or about her. I never, but never, look to other kind of stuff when people talks to me, i think its a bit rude. When i stopped talking about my problems, what i was going through, she started to talk, talk and talk about what she had done with his boyfriend in his car and in her house. To be honest, i think that's a issue for us, not to talk with friends even if they are very close. I don't have any problem about starting a conversation about that, but its in a general way not in first person "i did..." or "he did..."Anyways, then i did a test, i looked to the street while she was talking, she almost screamed at me "are you listening me?", i was almost starting a "riot", but i didn't, it wasn't worth it. Since then i never talked to her again (she did me more things, but that's not the subject in this discussion). So, my opinion, is yes. The majority of relationships that lacks communication are a (kind of) failure, and people gets frustrated about it, and it probably end it.