How to get rid of the cable guy when he comes to cut off your cable access.
By zigzagbuddha
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
United States
December 2, 2007 9:36pm CST
I used to have an Amazon parrot. Pyewacket has reminded me of this old friend. He talked a lot but often he just imitated the up and down inflections that occur in a conversation.
So... one day the cable guy came to shut off our cable because we hadn't paid the bill. The bird was sitting on his perch just inside the front door and my son was up in his room above the front door.
The cable guy knocks on the door and the bird says "Hellooo!" and starts his conversational chatting.
The cable guy (overheard by my son who didn't want to answer the door so was spying out his window) knocks again, and again my parrot says 'Helllloooo!" and goes into his conversational tone again.
The cable guy hollers "I can't hear you, you'll have to open the door"
Again the bird (who was very loud I might add) says "Hellloo!" and more conversation.
The cable guy, very frustrated by now, repeats in a much louder voice "You'll have to open the door ma'am, I can't understand what you're saying!" (How he got 'ma'am out of my birds raucous voice I'll never know.)
My bird is picking up on his mood and is getting louder and more excited himself. "Helllloooo!" he screeches. And starts chattering a mile a minute.
My son reports that at that point the cable guy stomped off the porch muttering obscenities and sped away in his van, leaving our cable turned on.
I don't know how it happened but our cable never got shut off and we never paid the bill either! We did move not too long after that so I don't know how long it would have lasted.
If you've got your own stories to share, great. If not I hope you at least enjoyed the read!
6 people like this
7 responses
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
18 Aug 09
Nah, I haven't watched tv in years and years. We had cable for our internet connection... although I did like watching Nero Wolf on A&E and Bravo did a Cirque du Soleil marathon that we all watched from beginning to end!
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
19 Aug 09
Yep, every one sure seems to like boobs! I had the body of a dancer until I decided that big boobs would be an improvement. I'm still trying to convince my body to deposit fat ONLY in my boobs... it currently is distributing it every where else too, hehehe. I may have to give up the idea of having a 'voluptuous' body and be happy with the slim, rather flat-chested version of myself that is buried somewhere underneath all this blubber! 
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
19 Aug 09
Bravo is a good channel I remember from when I lived at moms house, that and showcase were all I would watch after work. Mostly for the boobies though.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
3 Dec 07
Hello my dear zigzag buddha friend. I read the story of your Amazon parrot with great interest. It is so funny of him to greet the cable man with Hello in a different voice. He is really great to have helped get rid of the cable man without getting your cable access cut off. By the way, how is your parrot now? Is he still with you, dear zb? Thanks for your nice story that made me have a good laugh over it.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
3 Dec 07
Hello dear zigzag buddha friend. I am sorry that you have lost your parrot, but I am glad that you still think positively about the ending of the little parrot. I guess that he is living happily in the boy's home as well. But still I hope that some day he would be able to find you again and fly back to you to be your company. Thanks for the information about the clever, yet a little bit stubborn. hehe. Love your parrot.
By the way, yes, it is now 14:08 in my part. Have a good time, my dear friend.
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
3 Dec 07
He could come back I guess, but it would be quite a feat since I lost him 2 states away! Well not that birds don't travel that far easily, but I'm not counting on his return!
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
3 Dec 07
Good evening Sir William, or is it still daytime for you?
I'm glad you got a laugh from my bird story, but alas he is no longer with me.
I used to take him with me to a place where kids rode their bicycles around the dirt track. I went there to jog and I would put my bird in a tree while I did.
One day he refused to come down out of the tree when I was ready to leave. It was a mulberry tree and he was happily eating berries so I left him there in that secluded area and came back home. I went back 3 times that evening to get him and he still wouldn't come down. He could be a very stubborn brat. I figured if I left him there over night he would come down fast enough when I came out the next morning.
But I was wrong. He was gone, and there was a pepsi can laying on the ground beside the tree that hadn't been there before, and there were broken twigs going up the tree.
The way I see it some kid came by to ride his bike on the trail and as he passed under the tree my bird was in my bird greeted him with his well practiced "Helllooo!"
No way the kid would've left without him! Don't be sad for me though. I could never really handle the bird because I was so afraid of him, so I never really got to hold him and play with him. Only people who weren't afraid of him could hold him, and even they had to be pretty careful. It seems like that kid wasn't afraid of him so maybe he ended up in a nice loving home.
1 person likes this
@schummi (924)
• India
3 Dec 07
well...this one looks like a scene from one of that comedy movies...well first u have to take care of the parrot,coz its something which u cant train what to tell and what to not.....then i dont think its a big deal to take care of the cable guy....
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
3 Dec 07
It was exactly like a scene from a comedy movie! If I wrote screenplays, I would definitely include that scene in one of them. My bird also laughed heartily when anyone told a joke. He was a great bird! I loved him dearly, even though I was scared sh!tless of him! (He had a MEAN bite, and wasn't particular about who he let have a taste of it either.)
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
Wow you have a very good parrot, but I think that it will have no effect in theplace that I am living, because here the cables connection is outside the house so that they can easily cut the connection if it is needed. And they also cut the connection from the service company and dont need to go house to house.
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
3 Dec 07
That's the same way it is here... he didn't need to come into the house to cut off the cable, that was out at the street. He was coming to the door first to see if he could collect for the bill that was 3 or 4 months in arrears. If we had answered the door and not had any money for him he would have at that point climbed the pole in front of our house and it would have been goodbye A&E and Bravo.
Maybe the situation had him so flustered he forgot what he was doing there to begin with, or riled him so much he didn't trust himself to climb the pole!
1 person likes this
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
3 Dec 07
LOL, love the talking birds. Great story. My neighbor called to have his cable disconnected when he switched to satellite. They quit sending him bills, but he still has the cable. It's been at least a couple of years now he has been getting free cable.
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
3 Dec 07
Hehehe. Yeah, I've gotten free cable a few times when it was still hooked up in a house we were moving into. That is always one of the first things we do... check to see if the cable is still turned on from the last tenant!
Too bad the phone and electric companies weren't so lackadaisical!
1 person likes this
@bong_domingo (878)
• Philippines
4 Dec 07
that's really funny story you got there ha :-) LOL good to have your amazon parrot ... maybe i should also have one in our house :-)
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
4 Dec 07
They are very entertaining, but if you have children around you might want to avoid an Amazon as they can be pretty dangerous. They can break a child's finger in their beaks. My friend insisted on putting him on her shoulder once and would not heed my warning. I no longer have the bird but she's still got the scar on her cheek he gave her that day!
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
3 Dec 07
LOL. LOL LOL..Oh you got me in stitches here..That is so funny. No, I don't have any stories of my own to tell save one that might do here.
This was years and years ago. Now my mom happen to be a stuffed toy animal fan, and actually collected a lot (think she was in her second childhood,LOL). As you can guess since we had kitties,her favorite type of stuffed toy were cat ones. They literally would be all over the place even on the floor. Well one day our super comes up to fix the leaking faucet in the kitchen, when he finished he came out of the kitchen and proceeded to walk up fairly close to this one kitten that was on the floor, and he says to me, what a quiet little kitten this is and walks out. Yup, it was one of the stuffed toy ones...I don't even think the super caught on that it was a stuffed toy. Heck I wasn't about to say anything...I couldn't stop laughing though
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
3 Dec 07
Hehehe! It would have been even better if you weren't allowed to have pets! Then you could have, with smug disdain, rubbed the stuffed animal in his face. Leave it to me to have such a misanthropic slant on such a cute story! Jeez.
My mother has a big stuffed doberman that she leaves on her front porch guarding her door. I can't tell you how many times I have leapt back with my heart racing, and I know it's there!
1 person likes this
