Strange custom?
By RebeccaLynn
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
United States
December 4, 2007 12:54pm CST
First let me say that I am not bad mouthing this practice. I am merely curious.
We moved to Tennessee from Oklahoma almost a year ago and driving through town I have noticed a "custom?" that seems strange to me. Mamy, many people are putting large customized stickers on their rear windows that say things like "In memory of so-and-so. Born - Died. We will always love you."
Am I the only person that this strikes as odd? I am fully aware that everyone grieves differently, but why is it necessary to wear your grief permanently on your car? Does it somehow make the driver feel comforted that everyone on the road knows of your loss or is there another reason for this practice?
I have buried all three of my brothers but I never considered putting that information on my car. Can someone explain this custom to me?
8 people like this
9 responses
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
5 Dec 07
It's not for the other driver's on the roads. It's for the person that put it on there rear window. I have seen these except the We will always love you part and think nothing of it. It's the persons way of remembering there loved one. Heck, I could easily put a bumper sticker on mine that states I lost a loved one to murder, but I don't. I wouldn't mind myself adding that to my rear window, but it would look tacky on a Xterra. They only look good on pick ups, like with any decals and stickers.
2 people like this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
A few people have said that it makes the person who put it there feel better but I guess I just don't see how. To me (and again, no offence meant) it looks tacky and like a cry for help or attention.
I would think that every time you got in your car, you would see that and be sad all over again. Just my opinion.
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
7 Dec 07
I'm not big on the names on the door windows either. I don't need perfect strangers knowing who I am when I get out of my car! LOL!
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I do agree it does look tacky on cars or smaller SUV's or SUV's period for that matter. What I also think is tacky is those stickers that has everyone's name on the driver and passenger side. Now that's screaming wanting attention, lol.
As for the memorial stickers it's not asking for attention. I lost my brother to murder, I have a memorial website that I created in his memory that a lot of people that knew him visit all the time to get updates on my family. As for being sad each time you see the sticker, I don't know since I don't have one on mine. I do know when I see one it makes me think of my brother, and I know he wouldn't want me doing that for like you he would think it's tacky, lol.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
5 Dec 07
I agree with you...it does seem odd but to each his own. it doesn't harm anyone either. If that is how they cope then who is anyone to question it. Really...it is easy to ignore if you don't agree so i say you should. why let it concern your life at all...really
2 people like this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
It doesn't concern my life...and no, it's not hurting anyone. It is something I have never seen until we moved here and I was wondering why people choose to do this. What can I say...I'm the curious sort.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
4 Dec 07
i cant say we have this custom. Is it an appology for the people who have been killed by a particular car, perhaps?
2 people like this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
4 Dec 07
I have seen these stickers with the decedants' age ranging from infant to in the 80's. I don't understand the reason for these stickers.
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I'm with you on this. I don't understand it either.
It's not something I would do.
But then again I hate it when people feel sorry for me. Though I often talk of my miscarriages - it's not meant for pity. It's just a means of grieving and sometimes questions and things brings them up. And I think that putting something like that on my car would make me feel like everyone felt pity or something towards me. I'm strange I know LOL.
To each his own though - I have no problem with others doing it. Just wanted to say that.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I have no problem with people expressing their grief this way. Everyone grieves differently. It just strikes me as a cry for pity or help or a number of other things.
I have wondered if some of these people use these giant decals as an excuse for bad behavior...ex:cutting you off -but hey can't you read? I'm grieving! That's happened a few times and I guess that's why I've noticed them so much. They are everywhere!
Personally, I think grief is a private affair that is to be shared with friends and family. Not the rest of the population. But if that is someone's way of coping, I'm not going to say it's wrong, it's just strange to me.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
LOL!
Amazing that we have to apologize for our opinions BEFORE we get chewed out! LOL!
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
6 Dec 07
Oh I know exactly where you are coming from because I completely agree with you. I just wanted to add that in case someone on here that has one wanted to jump my crap LOL.
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
4 Dec 07
I've seen tattoos- but never on a car that seems really weird..
@thetekkie (34)
•
5 Dec 07
Is it just me or can anyone else see the dangers od obscuring your rear window with this kind of message. I appreciate the need to grieve, but how much worse if that grieving causes pain or worse to someone else because a driver can't see out of their rear window properly because of a sticker!
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I've wondered that very same thing. These aren't small decals, they span the entire rear window. I would think that they would obscure your' view.
@Monkeyrose (2840)
• Canada
5 Dec 07
Well I have never seen this before. Mainly because I don't live in Oklahoma, but in Canada.
I could see this as being strange as it is not common all over the place, however I don't find it that strange. People put random funny sayings all over their cars... why not put something serious and important on them?
1 person likes this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I haven't asked anyone face to face. I didn't want to offend anyone who is grieving and I (sorry to sound cold) didn't want to stand for an hour and hear a full accounting of their grief. So I turned to mylot in the hopes that it could be explained to me.
