I'm almost 50. Should I Stop Looking for Romance?
By heartuvgold
@heartuvgold (493)
United States
December 6, 2007 4:49am CST
My kids tell me, Mom you're too old to be trying to go out on dates. That's gross! Should I just give up on finding love again since my husband died? I've dated a few times but nothing fantastic has happened. I went out last night to meet someone for the first time and the date only lasted about fifteen minutes because I had to take my grandson along because my daughter had to work and he acted up so bad the guy wound up escorting him out by his ear and taking me home. AT least he called back and let me know he still wants to see me again. But I'm about ready to just forget the whole thing and quit trying. I'm lonely but I don't think I'll ever find the kind of closeness I felt with my husband for 23 years. Is it too late for me to find love again? Should I just settle for whatever I can get or just give up?
13 people like this
48 responses
@redzprincess (59)
• Ireland
6 Dec 07
Hi there, just read your post. You're never too old to find love! Even if it doesnt feel right after you're husband, give it a while you don't have to jump in at the deep end, you should take things slow and start as friends. See how it develops. It does'nt sound like that man is very nice who you dated for 15 minutes, he had no time for your grandson and it would be nice if he was willing to love your family aswell as you. Well thats my opinion - i wish you the very best of luck in the future :D
2 people like this
@heartuvgold (493)
• United States
7 Dec 07
Oh no, that wasn't what happened at all. He was very much the gentleman, but my grandson was HORRIBLE. He was deliberately trying to do everything he could to make my date a disaster. Well..actually it wasn't really a date, it was a first meeting. He was nice enough to agree to let my grandson come along and he bought him a drink and my grandson was very rude to him and to me and tried to cause a scene. When he refused to go with me and literally went under the table and spilled his drink all over the floor that was the last straw. My date took him out from under the table and firmly held his ear and escorted him out to his truck. He took us both home and then let me know that he still intends to ask me out again. But he wasn't about to allow a 7 year old to have the upper hand. I don't blame him in the least.
@froggylovesu (173)
• United States
6 Dec 07
NO WAY NO HOW that special person is out there but wait upon the Lord to bless you with this special person.
@heartuvgold (493)
• United States
6 Dec 07
Amen to that. I don't want to settle for even the way my husband was. I loved him dearly but he definitely wasn't perfect. No one is.
And I really admired this man for taking the matter in hand and nipping it in the butt so to speak. He didn't do anything wrong, he just let my grandson know real quick that he wasn't going to act that way around him or me either.
I was too embarrassed to do anything. I wanted to crawl under the table.
He called me up later and said that we will see each other again and I learned my lesson about taking my grandson with me. I'll make sure that the next time we go out it'll be just us and maybe we can have a nice dinner or a movie or just have fun and relax.
He is a really nice guy and I think I could get serious about him if God wills it. Wish me luck!
You have got to see the video he made of the roses he's growing. He's a photographer too, and a good cook.
2 people like this
@edigital (2709)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I think age 50 is not much for a dating. If you have hobby to spend of your rest life with a funny guy then can should date. If you have no hobby for a hubby then you should pass your time with grandchild and at best make some trusted friend.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (37948)
• Philippines
7 Dec 07
Giving up is not appropriate. If you enjoy what you are doing that is making dates with other people then I guess its fine. Age does not really restricts if want to share your love with others. Maybe on the issue of settling down maybe you should be thinking that over and try to consider your children if they are comfortable with it. I sense that you are looking for is more of companionship not really that romantic types.
2 people like this
@sojournseeker (1244)
• United States
7 Dec 07
I am disappointed your offspring feel you are not youthful enough anymore to be appreciative date-material, too old at less than 50 are they kidding ????? One is never too old, just seasoned and certainly much wiser at not launching themselves into something frivolous . . . tell your kids you are a big girl and mommy can do this !!!
Now, 23 years with your husband will always be cherished and probably never matched feeling for feeling; however, your beauty attracted him and so it will attract another BUT stop feeling you should look or not, if you aren't thinking about looking for "it" either way it just comes . . . I just know it !
sharing the light and happy holidays
Miss Erica Hidvegi, the Enlightenment_Advisor, B.A. Psych/M.A.
Transpersonal Studies- Cnslng/Author, Artist, Photographer,
Entrepreneur & Freelance extraordinaire
www.enlightenment-psych.net
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
6 Dec 07
First off I hope that my husband and I last for 23 years! That's so awesome. Second you are never to old to love or be loved. I'm a hopeless romantic and I say never EVER give up on love. But maybe if you focus on yourself and what you like to do more than just the fact that you are lonely then love will fall into your lap. What do you like to do? Any hobbies? Intrests? Things you've always wanted to try but never have? Those are the things that I would do now and focus on myself and making me happy first. Then you pribibly won't even feel lonely any more becuase you are so happy with everything else going on. Plus it's great way to go out and meet others that like what you like.
2 people like this
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
7 Dec 07
I also agree with you. The real love starts at very age. Most times we don't have the eyes to see love and romance when we are young. We are concerned about lots of other things than love when we are young.
@heartuvgold (493)
• United States
8 Dec 07
Here's what he just sent me. This one might be a keeper:)
http://www.viralurl.com/heartuvgold/Arts_Roses
1 person likes this
@venshida (4836)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I am pretty close to 50 myself, and I am single. I am involve with someone right now and have being for sometime. I am thinking of ending the relationship, and I hope I would find someone else. I think your kids are wrong. You deserve to have someone nice in your life. I don't think it's to late to find love. I think you should concentrate on what you enjoy what you like to do. Do the things you never got to do when the kids were younger, and do not exclude the possibility of a new relationship.
2 people like this
@smartx (319)
• India
6 Dec 07
No age is too old for love..Yeah children are right in their part to tell you to stop looking for love..But Life goes on with till you have one magical things which keeps it alive and that is Hope..Hope is what that all we need in life..If you can keep hope of getting a love carry on..but if You dont want then hope for something else..Life should go on..Iam not going to tell you what you should do..but i hope you got my point..You just think about what i have told you..
@velvetprinzess (1064)
• Singapore
6 Dec 07
No one's ever too old for love and romance. Everyone deserves to be loved. :) I think it's definitely a good idea to look for love. I'd encourage that. I've also known of people who married even though they are much older than you. So love, romance and marriage aren't just for the young people. They are for everyone. :) Good luck in your search for that special someone.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
6 Dec 07
My Dear Heartuvgold! You are in the prime of Life!Pay no attention to your Kids! How can that be so crass? You need to plan your dates better. You are entitled to time for recreation. Take time for your life. Life is about having fun. If its not fun don't do it.There is no excuse for being Lonely. Get out there and Have some fun. It is Not too late to Love again, but you have to take the bit in your mouth and run with it!
2 people like this
@xleslieanne (692)
• United States
6 Dec 07
firstly, it's never too late to find love. it may just take you a while. you said that you don't think you'll ever find the kind of closeness you felt with your husband of 23years. sounds like you may be looking for someone like how your husband was? it may just take longer than you like to find someone like that. don't give up, but try just letting love find you. i know it sounds cliche or whatever, but don't go out searching. let him find you.
good luck with the guy from the last date. hopefully if you two go out again things will go better.
2 people like this
@froggylovesu (173)
• United States
6 Dec 07
Separate grandson has his own special time with you movies; McDonalds etc... But your dating becomes your special time just for you this way.Without grandchild
tagging along behind you.
#1 PRAYING
2 people like this
@dmercurious (3)
• Jamaica
6 Dec 07
Why not ? For a number of reasons I think its safer for you at that age to be still looking for love. Most persons by the time they get to 25, unless they are very conservative would have had their hearts broken at least 4 times! But at 50 most women are ready to settle down and half the men who would be players at age 25 are now looking to get serious. At that age also most men would have told all the lies they wanted to tell and are now feeling a sense of guilt and a desire to be honest. So if you are perfectly healthy then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't ! One word of advise!
Do not get involved with anyone however that would cause your kids embarrassment.
2 people like this
@RebeccaLynn (2256)
• United States
6 Dec 07
Do you WANT to give up on love? Really?
You won't find the same kind of closeness that you had with your husband because there is not another "HIM" out there but that isn't to say that there isn't someone out there that you can have a close, satisfying relationship with.
I wouldn't take my grandchild on another date but I wouldn't give up on love either. You are the only one who knows what you want or need in your life and I wouldn't let my children or my own insecurities keep me from going out and getting what I want. You deserve happiness no matter what your age.
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
7 Dec 07
I think you should never stop looking for love no matter how old you are. Age never matters is love. Ony thing that matter is the real feeling that comes from the heart. I think you should follow your heart. Nothing should stop you from getting all the love you want in life. I think its never late for love. As the old proverb states better late than never. It is always to go for love when we can than never staying away from love. Most times we stay off love thinking that we will get hurt or thinking if we will get back the love we have given the person. No matter how hurt we get or how we failed in love we will still start love. Love is the food of our soul. The real love is God and we cannot stay away from God. Same way we cannot stay away from love.
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
6 Dec 07
You are never too old hun. I found myself single again and thought I would never find anyone else but, with the help and support of my friends, I was soon out and about and meeting people again. Don't give up, it's never too late
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
6 Dec 07
It's never to late for love. My mom remarried after my Dad passed away she was 70. Maybe you just haven't found the right guy yet. Join a grievence support group. Find a good Church. Make some great friends of both sexes. Start enjoying time out of the house with friends and maybe love will just fall in your lap. Good luck I hope you find it soon.
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
7 Dec 07
Well for one..you're NEVER to old for love. No matter what age you are theres always a potential partner out there for you. The thing is though, you're not gonna find love if you're out looking for it. You'll just fall for random losers who cross your path just because you like having the feeling of being wanted by someone else. I know im only 17..not the wisest out there.. but love seems to find you at the most random times, especially when your not looking. So if i was you, id be independant and have the "I dont need a man" attitude.. and before you know it..you'll find mr right!
1 person likes this
