My brother the jerk and Christmas dinner!

Not very happy right now! - unhappy family
United States
December 6, 2007 7:59am CST
My family needs a wake up call believe me! My brother is younger than me, has no small kids, he drives, has a "wife" who drives and a car. I don't drive, usually have my granddaughter with me and I'm "older". We are having Christmas dinner at my mothers and she wants us to order dinner already made from a nearby grocery store. There is the same store near my brothers house. Oh, yeah, he also has my mothers ATM card which is another long story. Anyway....I was supposed to order, pick up and bring the dinner to my mothers apartment a couple of days before Christmas and since I don't drive, it's been very cold and we don't know what the weather is going to be like I called my brother and asked him to call, order the meal, pick it up and bring it to my mothers apartment. Easy enough since he drives right? No....he's too busy!!!! This means I will have to take a bus to the store, pick up the meal and take a cab to my mothers. Nice brother huh? I'm seething with hate for him and his wife right now. Should I try to come up with an excuse as to why I can't do it or just say I WON'T do it? What should I do since this is not fair to me at all!
6 people like this
11 responses
@raychill (6530)
• United States
6 Dec 07
My brother doesn't even participate in "family" holidays because his wife believes their "Family" is HER brothers, sisters and mother... and her husband (my bro) and their kids. My brothers "family" is not included in their "Family" .. so you can imagine how much fun my life is. I'll tell you what my parents always tell me with the whole ordeal between my brother, his idiot of a wife and I... "be the bigger person". I hate being the bigger person. but they say it's better to be the bigger person. so... that's my suggestion. Just be the bigger person no matter how unfair it is. or don't and you'll be the jerk.
• United States
7 Dec 07
Thanks for the laugh! I'm always the "bigger person" too and I'm getting sick of it. I think this is the time I'm going to take my stand as the Older Sister...lol...and tell him this is the way it's going to be end of discussion!!!
2 people like this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
7 Dec 07
Ha ha yeah. I'm the younger one. You'd think I'd get to be the one to act childish.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2409)
• United States
6 Dec 07
I would tell your family that you won't do this. Christmas should not be a time of stress, but a time to spend together as a family. If the traditional meal cannot get to the place you are going to eat without causing a lot of issues, just have peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches for Christmas dinner. I don't know, it could be that I am just working so hard to get stress out of my life right now, but I just don't see the meal as being that important. Your brother is being a jerk, but let it go.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Dec 07
Oh, I am really sorry to hear that. Just remember, your brother is responsible for his actions and the emotions that go with that. We can't change other people. Maybe your brother is having a reaction to also thinking this may be your mother's last Christmas?
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Dec 07
I can understand why you must be so ticked off. Your brother is very selfish. I would have to say that, come hell or high water, I would still bring the dinner. I've never let the inconsideration of others cause me to be inconsiderate myself. That's just me :-)
2 people like this
• United States
7 Dec 07
Nope, not this time. He is going to pick up that dinner and that's all there is to it!
1 person likes this
@jillbeth (2710)
• United States
6 Dec 07
Ask him if he's too busy to come over and eat dinner! He sounds lazy and selfish, and I wonder why your family would expect you to pick up the dinner, knowing you don't have a car, and he does. Does he regularly decline doing favors for the family? The least he could do is offer to pay your bus and cab fare, but sounds like he would do so with your mom's ATM card! Let go of your bad feelings, you are only hurting yourself. If your family has the habit of taking advantage of you, it is up to you to put an end to it, but choose another time besides the holidays. Take the high road and pick up the dinner, but let them know that from now on they must do their own errands because it is just too taxing for you. If they have any consideration at all for you, they will oblige. If not, then you know where you stand with your family members. Learn to say no.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Dec 07
I don't like to sound like a mrtyr but I am always being taken advantage of by my family and you know what? It stops NOW! I'm tired and have a lot of my own issues. He IS going to pick up that dinner.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
9 Dec 07
Jerk's the right word LOL Why is he so busy that he can't help his sister? maybe you should order just for you and your mom and say "oops, I only had two hands to carry two meals home ON the bus IN the freezing cold for my mother and me" and see what he says to that!! sorry for being cheeky but I don't understand why he can't help you when he and his wife both have cars!!!!!!!! selfish he is sorry to say.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Dec 07
I to have a brother whom is a real jerk!. so much as we dont have thanksgiving with him,or anyother holiday at that. I am sorry ot hear about the thanksgiving dinner:( i would next time ask your parents to come to your house,and just cook next time:) u can stay warm in your house and still have family over for thanksgiving.
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
7 Dec 07
Now, this is where we differ, ctry, because I just flat-out would not do it! I know you want your family to be the tight-knit group that you read about in fairy tales, but it doesn't always work that way. I've found that family members can be the biggest pains. Maybe I'm jaded, but it doesn't mean that much to me anymore. I prefer to spend my holidays alone(if necessary), rather than be in the company of insincere people who just happen to be my relatives. I can't tell you what to do, but I will say you should do what your heart leads you to do. If you really want to make your mother happy, then do it. That would be my only reason for doing so.
• United States
7 Dec 07
Geez Ctry, I don't even know what to say to you about this. I don't understand why anybody would even ask YOU to do it since you don't drive and have to walk, and it's so cold, plus carry it all. That's just terrible. Is there anybody else who can do this besides you?...forget your brother, he's totally inconsiderate of your situation and why can't his wife do it?
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
6 Dec 07
Hes a man , i do not think i would want him to order dinner anyway.Why don't you call in the order to the place by his house and ask him to pick it up on the way to your moms house..I would call him and tell him that and he should be able to at least pick it up.he will probably do that much since he will want to eat too.If he cannot pick it up after you order it he does not deserve to eat, that would make him a real jerk...
@blueman (16513)
• India
7 Dec 07
..it seems ur family does need a wakeup calll...n you should be the one callin the shots rather then obeyin them...;)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164264)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Apr 08
Please don't be the same kind of jerk as your brother. go the extra mile for your mom as she deserves it and get that dinner and take a cab and just be thanful you are not the jerk your brother is. Hate will just eat you up and make you ill. So get rid of it as you know you are a better person than your brother and his wife. It of course is not fair but who ever said all life was fair all the time. jUst know that hatred makes one ill.