Wolfie's Moral Dilemma
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
December 6, 2007 6:39pm CST
When I escaped my ex, I told a few lies, I had to for my own sanity, and it was the only way I could escape, unfortunately I paid £600/$1000 deposit when we first moved in to private rented accommodation back in 2004.
I wrote to the landlord to advise him I was moving out and gave the specified ONE MONTH'S notice and I wanted my deposit back. My ex was still living in the property and agreed to take over the rent, which the landlord accept, the tenacy is in both our names
All the bills I had taken out of my name including the council tax, but I got a letter back from the landlord to say that he wouldn't give me my deposit back because my ex was still living there and he wouldn't take my name of the tenancy!
All the landlord said was that he accepted my ex as the sole tenant
Now this has been troubling me since I moved out 8 weeks ago, what if my ex trashes the house? What if my ex cannot afford to pay the rent? Will I still be liable?
So after last night's nightmares and restlessness I went to see a solicitor who advised me that in actual fact the landlord was in the wrong because I had given the one month's notice. Bearing in mind the original lease expired February 2005 and the landlord had given us by verbal one month's notice if we wanted to get out and two months if he wanted us out.
The solicitor has urged me to write back to the landlord to recover some of my deposit back and I have emailed him today, if I get a negative response then the solicitor will at my cost obviously take it up and try to get back the funds.
I am not as worried about the deposit but I want to get my name of that tenancy and finally bury that part of my past.
The only trouble is if he makes a new contract for my ex, and my ex refuses to pay it, it means my ex is homeless and it'll make things worse for me, because my ex has a vicious temper and will come after me. My ex also has four cats, probably more by now, and if my ex has to move out there is no where my ex can go to rehome 4 cats, so my Zeus (those will remember him from my old avatar will have to be given away or worse put down, which my ex has threatened on a number of times before, he is actually my ex's cat!)
So what would you do? Let the $600 go there's no guarantee I'll get all of it back, the landlord might keep some back for damages to the property etc...
Or fight with all my strength to get the deposit back and get my name of the tenancy which could means months and months of solicitors fees etc
Plus causing untold aggro with my ex???
Thank you for your advice xxxx
5 people like this
13 responses
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
8 Dec 07
Hey Wolfie,
In all honesty, I would make sure my name was off the tenancy, and eat the money. Lesson learned here. I got ripped off by my old landlord about my deposit when I moved out, and even though we really counted on that money, I ate it. I said F it, too much trouble and too much extra cost too it. Many conversations were verbal and I just didn't feel I could prove myself, I was not going to hire a lawyer for this.
I do think I would try a court where you don't need legal council to sue someone, and sue the landlord for not removing your name, during the trial maybe the judge will see that you are really worthy of the deposit returned, and that the new tenant should pay the landlord again for it. That's how it should work, or seems so anyway! lol Makes sense to me.
Best of luck sweet, sorry I'm not so great on the advice side. You do what you feel is right and what your comfortable with doing. Ok? *smile*
Bay Lay Gray xx
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
11 Dec 07
How charming of you!! Thank's much!
I hope it all works out for you hon. I'm so sure that it will!
Bay xx
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Dec 07
This doesn't sound too good wolfie. The most impotant thing is to get your name off the lease...that's it. Forget the money, forget anything else. When I left my ex, I told the landlord I was leaving and my ex was staying. She asked if he would pay the rent and I had to say I didn't know, it was out of my hands. We'd been together there 5 years and there was $720 bond which I had paid which I knew I would ever see again. I also had a massive debt on my credit card because my ex wouldn't pay his way. I left so he couldn't drag me down any further. He ended up a few weeks after I left out of a job, couldn't pay the rent and he left the house dirty and so he didn't get the bond either and he was shirty about it! He would have been evicted and the bond would have covered everything.
You need to close the door once and for all on that chapter of your life...until you do that, you can't properly get on with things. I'm pleased you've consulted a solicitor.
@dutchess67 (917)
• United States
7 Dec 07
Oh my, that is a bit of a dilemma!
Wolfie, if you genuinely don't care about the money and just want to be cleared of any legal responsibility, then my advice to you would be to contact both the landlord and your ex and advise them that you're willing to forgo the return of your deposit money providing that you can witness a new lease contract being drawn up that is in your ex's name only. I know it would chap my hiney to give over the money, but...in the end you'll be better off. You will have not only taken the moral high road, but you will have gotten out from under something that worries you without having to deal with the temper you described. He shouldn't have any reason to get angry with you if you've not asked him to dole out any more money and he shouldn't have any reason to take it out on the pets.
I honestly feel that, if you truly aren't all that concerned with the money, then that would be your best option.
Hope it works out well for you, honey! Merry Christmas!
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
12 Dec 07
When I left my Ex I left with nothing, yes it is hard..BUT..I left and makde a clean break, we are still frineds with my Ex but I believe the Almighty is gonna help me from His abanundant wealth..You left that relationship because of all the aggro. I like you have been hard done by but instead of ploughing all your energy into another set of emotions..drive it all into YOUR FUTURE..NOW ind oing whatever positive action you can for yuourself and others involved in your life..SOD THE PAST excuse my French and just use it as a life lesson..don't bring it into your NOW AND FUTURE..Humungous hugz from your sis.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 07
I know that you do not like your ex at all and that you prefer to stay out of the way of her quite understandably. I hope that your ex can afford to still live in the house and will not trash the place. She has quite a temper so she probably will get cross hearing from the landlord that has been contacted by your solicitor. I worry about the cats. I hope that they, including your much loved Zeus will be happy. You might feel annoyed if you do forget about the £600 deposit. However it is your right to have some of this back. I hope that the solicitor bill won't be too high. Good luck Wolfie. Take care.
1 person likes this
@kimberlylynn (978)
• United States
8 Dec 07
I would so get my name off of that rental! It can't be too hard for your landlord to make a new lease, this person is just being lazy. I think it would be worth letting the deosit money go just to get your name out of it because she could so much damage and the landlord end up taking you both to court. When I got divorce, even though it was mutual, I had to buy my own house from myself and my husband but it was the only way to do it and have it only in my name. It cost refinancing charges, blah blah blah but in the end it was worth the extra money.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 07
Sweetie FIGHT
That is a lot of Money to let lie or give away
If he comes after you then you report him
At the end of the Day it is your Money and I thought the Landlord was in the wrong
Do not give in to him anymore you are past all that Sweetie
So Fight for it
Hugs to you xx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 07
I have been shat on for too long, besides I let my ex have too much of my stuff which I couldn't move myself so between them they are LAUGHING at me! Well they'll soon be laughing at the back of their faces, I ain't going to roll over anymore for people, I'm sick of being used as a mat xxx
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 Dec 07
I think it would be better if you write by snail mail as well by email to your landlord asking for the return of your deposit. Since you already left after giving notice, you are not responsible. Your solicitor is right that you are no longer responsible. You should not have to worry about your ex. She has a vicious temper and can take care of herself and any damages done after you left, are her responsibility. In fact, you should ask for a written document as to what your responsibilities are, so you do not get surprised.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
8 Dec 07
I did um and arr about whether it was best to send an email or by letter, the solicitor said it didn't matter as long as I got a copy of the email. But the reason I sent an email is that as far as my ex is concerned I am abroad! If my ex finds out I'm where I am it'll make it easier for her to find me, and besides I don't trust the landlord to not give my ex my address! It's messy and if I don't hear anything next week I will return to the solicitor or citizens advice and get them to write him a letter, it'll be worth the money to get both of them out of my life.
@funnycole (392)
• United States
9 Dec 07
In the States we have something called legal separation. You can file it and then from that day (day of filing separation) on you are not responsible for debts and liabilities incurred by your spouse. Does the UK have such a thing?
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
7 Dec 07
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Very sorry my friend but my background is not in law.
I just wish that I have the resources to slip you a thick wad of cash and just ask you not to worry.
Unfortunately, well, I need to use the word, "unfortunately".
Where I am, people in your situation may get "lucky". If the papers come across such a situation, they will interview you and talks about your plight in the papers. Then suddenly, you will be rich overnight as donations come pouring in for you. The only bad thing is you have to show your face, give your name and basically surrender all privacy.
Every time I come across such airing of stories, I think how "lucky" these people are (though they are really far from fortunate) because there are many even less fortunate than them who have not been "discovered" or "selected" by the papers.
@raydene (9871)
• United States
7 Dec 07
Darlin, Now is the time to stand tall and be stronger then you have ever been..Fight for what is yours..Demand your deposit and if your ex will be displaced so be it..Time for him to stand on his own feey also..
If he gets mad...so what...he will get over it or someday die mad!!!!!
He he comes after you do not slink away...meet him head to head...Do you know how large a person is when they come right at someone...Well ex is a bully and bullies are most often great big cowards! When he sees you are coming right at him you will be very large in his eyes and bet'cha he backs down...abusers do not fight with someone that fights back ...they choose people that cower down!
You can do it Doll...I know you can...
xoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
7 Dec 07
If you don't really need the money, wolfie, you should let it go. Having said that, however, you should also cover yourself in the event damage is done to the property. I would make every effort to work out something with the landlord whereby I would not be held responsible for any damages. That would only be fair to you. I wish you the best!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 07
My prime concern is getting my name off that lease, my solicitor says I have every right to get all or at least some of my money back, why let my landlord have it? He had a point, at the end of the day even if I get back nothing but a confirmation that my name is OFF the tenancy then I can put an end to that episode in my life xxx
@xboxboy (5576)
•
7 Dec 07
i do not have the experience to answer this. so some thoughts instead.
let the deposit go but turn her favorite cat into a davy crockett hat. (a bit severe!)
or get the money back and fu(k the b1tch!!!!
i guess you have to make the final decission!
(my uncle Alfie Klondyke is a cia assassin, 10% off if you mention my name!)
