Heart ache!

Argentina
December 7, 2007 10:43pm CST
I'm going through some rough times... I feel I'm loosing my boyfriend, despite he says he loves me deeply, we're not connecting... And I don't know what to do!! Should I just wait for things to calm down and not make any rush decisions? Or is it better to cry all at once and get it over with? I love him so much, but I can't stand this distance between us! ...
3 people like this
7 responses
@liera0 (280)
• Philippines
8 Dec 07
I've had that experience too. He says he loves but I didn't feel it. I don't know why. For many times I caught him cheating too. But stupid as I was relationship lasted for 4.5 years. Though in the last 1.5 year we were not close since he choose to work afar without even informing on it. I only find it out from his aunt (whom he stays with) who called me then. The distance between us had helped me to handle the break up I'm expecting to happen. Till I was able to tell him it's over. It might sound I am mean but I guess how I have handled the relationship is enough for him to know I did everything. I was there when he got no work. Paid for his bills, food and helped him had a job. I didn't leave him at times he was so down. So I guess it's enough though throughout the relationship he cheated many times. Glad it's over. So I guess prepare yourself and pray that if the time comes break up will happen you will be strong enough to handle it and can let go.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
8 Dec 07
Hi marinarovi I would say have some faith in your boyfriend. And give him some space if he loves you he will come to you. Dont make any decisions right now. And I hope things will work out for the two of you!
• Argentina
8 Dec 07
Thank you Terry!! I'm trying to give him some space, like you said. The problem is it never seems to be enough, snif... For instance, this year we cant afford to go on vacation, neither of us, and he's already planning next year's vacation with a bunch of his friends, not me... and that hurt. I feel he doesn't make plans for us anymore. It's been ages since we went out for a drink or dinner or whatever. The excuse is always the lack of money and being tired, but then he goes out with friends... and I don't think him friends pay for his drinks... But still, I love him and try to let the storm pass and see what comes after that...
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
8 Dec 07
Just see what happens sometimes time helps everything. Hang in there!
• Argentina
9 Dec 07
Thank you Terry!
• Philippines
10 Dec 07
have you talked it over with your boyfriend... as in serious talk??? guys just tend to shrug things like that with their girlfriend, there might be nothing wrong or something :-) but at least if you get to sit down and have a heart to heart talk, it might clear things out. Relationships are healthier with constant dialogue :-)
• Argentina
11 Dec 07
Yes, and he shrugged, like you said, and thought I was overreacting, but last weekend we talked about it, AGAIN, calmly, and we're much better now. At least I'm starting to relax a little bit, and he's being sweeter as he used to be... Wish us luck!
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
Good luck my friend.... :-)
@ssh123 (31096)
• India
8 Dec 07
Time and tide waits none. Therefore give a final notice (oral) to your BF and if he doesnot respond positively, I feel it is not worthwhile waiting. There are innumberable people meant for breaking the promises and thereby landing others in lurch. What is your intuition says go according to that. There is no fun in wasting youthful days waiting something good to happen and if it never happens. Sorry If I am rude.
• Argentina
9 Dec 07
You're not rude... I've talked to him, and he says I'm overreacting, things will get better, he loves me deeply, adn we're both just under a lot of stress. But still, it hurts.
1 person likes this
@ssh123 (31096)
• India
9 Dec 07
Just ignore for a few weeks. Do not respond. The more you chase, the farther it goes (it means love). You take from me, like a faithful dog, it comes back to you. Never show an anger. If you demand you donot get it. If you ignore, bountiful will be at your feet. This must be a logical principle. It worked in my case (of course not love case). But you can try.
@chrislotz (8200)
• Canada
10 Dec 07
My advice to you would be to wait it out. Maybe he is just going through something that has nothing to do with you and your relationship with him. Maybe he needs you to just give him some space and let him work it out his way. Don't nag him about it, if he wants you to know about it or if he wants to talk to you about it, he will, on his time.
• Argentina
11 Dec 07
Thank you, Chris, I'm trying! =)
@Angie97 (21)
• Philippines
8 Dec 07
"Be Still and Know that I am God." this means if you are having difficult times of your life esp your emotions...stop...pray or think the right solutions to it. Ask guidance from heaven....If you can't think...go to a good friend and talk about it. Here, you may share your feelings, as women do, when we talk it out we release our heavy heart. If you think your boyfriend is not loyal to you or has an offense, its better to sit down both of you and talk things over. But if he is doing bad..lets say having another affair...don't think twice...break him off. If you are saying, He is far from you...you have to stay and wait for him as long as you feel he loves you dearly. Think it over. You can do it. Goodluck
• Argentina
8 Dec 07
Thank you for your response, Angie. You guys give me the strenght to wait, hehe... I know I should wait and not make any rush decisions, but it's just so awful this feeling. But I never thought he's not being loyal to me. Well, maybe yesterday I did, but for no good reason actually. I think if he'd found another woman, he'd kick me good bye in a second, he's not a cheater, that's all. And I know he loves me. WE've talked this over, and he says I'm too upset about everything lately, for him nothing's wrong and he loves me as always did...
@lilaclady (28236)
• Australia
8 Dec 07
I know what you are talking about, I know it is hard to explain to people how you come up with this feeling but I think women are very good at feeling it, I think you should just wait a bit and see how things pan out, I know it is hard, been there done that but if you love him just wait a bit I think.
• Argentina
8 Dec 07
Thank you, Lilaclady, that's exactly what I'm trying to do... just wait for better times, right now we're in the middle of exams, he's looking for a job, I'm trying to switch jobs, bought my apartment and now I have a lot of work to do in there befor I can move in... maybe it's only stress, from both of us. I surely hope so!