How men think....

Me holding my daughter. - My daughter, Olivia and I just being silly.
United States
December 8, 2007 9:36pm CST
I need some male opinions here. Please! I'm a 30 year old mom of 5. I'm 5'6" and weigh about 140 lbs. I'm very self consious (sp?) about my body. I hate it. I think I look disgusting. Everyone else says I look great for having so many kids but I don't feel like I look great. My man is always telling me how beautiful I am, how great I look and he can't keep his hands off me for nothing. He tells me that I'm perfect and that he loves every part of me. I just don't understand how. So, my question is...How can a woman feel this way about herself but a man feel that way? How do you men think? I really want to know! As a woman I would think that a man would want a woman with no stretch marks, perky boobies, flat belly, firm booty..etc. and that anything other than that would not be attractive, but that is not the case. So please, all you men and women out there that know something, please tell me what I'm missing!!! Cause I just don't get it! I know that when you love someone, you love them for who they are, but that don't mean you have to love their body....So, what's up? I'm including a picture so all of you can see for yourself what I look like. Please be honest and speak only the truth (not about me, lie to me and tell me I'm beautiful, lol, just kidding, but about why or how guys think like they do!) Thank you!
8 people like this
14 responses
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
9 Dec 07
All I can say... is that for a woman with five kids... you are looking really good... and sexy... which explain why you have 5 kids... and as your man cannot keep his hands of you... he is trying for 6... laugh. With your looks... I would rank you in the top 30% of women on the planet. Which means that you are at least better looking than 70% of them. What else do you want? We all grow old. I guess you are having a hard time turning 30... and are wishing to be 20 again. For someone like you... it should be easy to retain your good looks. Just watch what you eat and do a little exercise. And you will still look great at 50. When you marry at 20... your husband grows old with you at the same rate than you do... providing that you look after yourself. As he sees you everyday... he hardly notice the changes taking place... and even if he does... he only has to look himself in the mirror. The biggest mistake about women having children... is that they use the children as an excuse to become slobs around the house. That is obviously not your case... judging by the photo. As long as you dress sexily... your man will always find you sexy. Fifty per cent of the turn on for men... is what you wear and how you wear it. You got nothing to worry about...
4 people like this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
9 Dec 07
You look fine, you look great Stephanie. TRUST me on that one. If you think you've got problems... maybe I should just retreat to some cave. You're great dear. Not only that, did you ever stop to think the overall picture is worth something. Plus how a person makes you feel and what they do contributes to attraction or "sexy".
4 people like this
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
9 Dec 07
You ask what you are missing? I think you are missing self esteem. People love each other because there is chemistry, they connect, they care about each other and each of the partners thinks the other person is kind and caring. It would be so sad and extremely shallow if all men just wanted external beauty. What would that make women? objects - instead of human beings. - So Steph, be thankful you are with a great guy who does not force you to be an object. You know the saying beauty fades... and then what?
@dismart (24)
• United States
9 Dec 07
You're kidding right? you look great from what I can see...
@barehugs (8984)
• Canada
9 Dec 07
I'm a Grandad and I've been around the block a few times. Your problem is all in your Head. (not your body) Get ahold of yourself and look at everything you have going for yourself. Your not obese, your healthy, you have a great love-life. These are only a few of your positive points. Be Thankful and Love yourself just the way you are. Stop dwelling on the negative! Stop those thoughts entirely and think positively. Be Thankful... Be so Very Thankful!
• United States
9 Dec 07
I'm of the opinion that men in love go blind and retarded lol. I don't mean that as an insult to you, my fiance talks the same way and I don't get it either. I'm 5'2", 200lb, I just don't get it.
3 people like this
@makatas (1101)
• Greece
9 Dec 07
Ok i will talk to you straight.You dont know me, so i would have no benefit to lie to you.You look astonishing! I dont know what makes people think that man likes them thin.Thats not right.Well, thats my opinion of course.I like women who are not too thin, have curves etc.And belly doesnt really matter if its flat or not.Have you seen a man with flat belly? :P Why offer a man flat belly then?Especially since you are mother.By the way, your belly is just fine.So stop wondering if you look nice, you look great, have fun with your husband, enjoy your time with him and i wish all the best for you and your family. Thats a guy's opinion.I hope i explained myself well :)
3 people like this
@subha12 (18452)
• India
9 Dec 07
Hi, i am not a man. Still i think you look good. the way you are thinking it seems you are over concious of yourself. you are not at all ugly or so. I think what your husband says is correct.
3 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
9 Dec 07
I am overweight, but my hubby loves me. He loves touching my body and has never had any problems with the way I look. I don't know what they are "thinking" but I do know you are being too hard on yourself. I saw the pic, I had 2 kids and I wish I looked like you do after 5. All people are different, every person finds something different attractive. Be happy with who you are. And if your guy likes it, does it matter what any one else thinks?
3 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
9 Dec 07
Um you look fine to me, and I like women. ;) I think how you perceive someone physically can be influenced by how you feel about them. However, I also believe that not everyone wants someone with what is considered the "perfect body". For example, my husband LOVES curves. If I lose too much weight, he'll start saying things like "Where'd your butt go?"... and I weigh about 30 pounds more than you! :P I really like women and men of a lot of different shapes and sizes, it just depends on what I see in a particular person!
3 people like this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I think that real men want real women. I also think that your quite beautiful. I also hate to tell you that most women celebrities have stretch marks, pock marks, cellulite and all kinds of things wrong with them, but during photo shoots and movies all those imperfections get mysteriously airbrushed away. I blame the media for women's issues with their self esteem and their bodies. During the rennaissance period plus size women were considered highly attractive and very desirable, now if your not a size 0 your fat. I think your man can't keep his hands off of you because he honestly thinks your beautiful! Men are really odd creatures. they don't find the need to be cordial or dishonest, they tell it like it is. If he says he loves your body he does. If he says your butt looks big in last year's jeans, it probably does. Even if that might put him in the dog house. LOL
2 people like this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Hey...we aren't THAT odd! =P We LIKE women. Or well, at least I do. Oh and Steph, Mama-san's post really nails it. Every bit of it is true. Oh but about the uh "rear" comment, plenty of guys like that area, so don't feel too distraught over it. And your post reminds me Mama-san, here's a blog entry on J L Hewitt being "fat" http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1514 Note a couple of the models compared too, do indeed look like gaunt ultra starving women. Very sickening.
3 people like this
• United States
7 Feb 08
We are our own worse critic, and yes you do seem hard on yourself. Just wanted to share a few thoughts of mine. I truly believe that how we feel about ourselves is far more important than how anyone else feels and often-is reflected not only in our own eyes-but also in the eyes of others. I could be wrong but I feel that a womans confidence and self love can create a stronger attraction than her physical make up. "Move over Barbie and make way for REAL Beauty". p.s. Real Beauty does come from within and it can be contagious.
2 people like this
@wildguy2 (1349)
• Canada
10 Dec 07
Not sure why your not happy with the way you look...I think ya look great...and i am a guy ;) your daughter is a sweet heart and so are you...don't let anyone tell ya otherwise...
2 people like this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
14 Feb 08
As LindaLinda stated on the first page here you lack self esteem. One is only as beautiful as they feel. being a man whom is happily married and has been for 30 years I will say you a great looking woman for having a child etc. So look into your soul and see the real you. Low self esteem is an issue that needs to be checked at the door when it ciomes to loving yourself. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this