At what age is it appropriate for your child to go into a public restroom...
By imadriscoll
@imadriscoll (2228)
United States
December 10, 2007 1:14pm CST
At what age is it appropriate for your child to go into a public restroom without a parent or trusted adult?
I have a friend who was a single parent for the first 3 years of her son's life, her husband left for two years after being deployed to Iraq.
Around age 4 she decided that her son was too old to go to the bathroom with her, so she started letting him go into public restrooms without her. We could be in a crowded resturant and she would send him to the bathroom alone. Then she would continue with the conversation not paying attention to if he was okay.
I understand that he's getting old enough to not have to share a stall with his mother, but if it were my child I would at the very least stand outside the bathroom stall while he went in to the stall by himself. At least this way I would know that no one was being inappropriate with him! When I mentioned this to her she said that she thinks he's too old to go into the women's restroom (though I'm not sure I understand why?).
What age did you allow your children to go to the bathroom in a public area by themselves?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
10 Dec 07
For me it would depend on where and what kind it was. Some places here still have single occupancy ones so I'd let a child go in them as soon as I was confident that they could take care of their needs without assistance...with me standing right outside the door of course. My son that's almost 5 can use them but still uses the ladies troom with me if there isn't a single occupancy one. I let him go in his own stall but there's no way I'd let him go into a men's room unsupervised. Luckily Daddy is with us most of the time so this is rarely an issue. My oldest son is 9 and if I was at a large public area with him (like a mall) I'd still make him come in with me just befcause there would be too many strangers and too many possibilities. But at the smaller stores we would normally be at he can use the men's room because there is rarely more than one person in there at a time anyway.
1 person likes this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Single occupancy bathrooms with a parent standing outside the door is completely different then sending them into a bathroom with several stalls and who knows who's waiting inside of them!
I love places with a family bathroom too! I think that all family friendly places should have a family bathroom... that way you can stand outside and tell them to not lock the door so if they need you or if you think they're taking too long you can yell inside or stick your head in the door and see if everything is okay.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I have only seen one family bathroom ever and it was at an airport over 10 years ago. I think they would be really helpful though. Somehow moms taking little boys into the ladies room seenms fairly normal but something about a dad taking a little girl into the men's room seems odd. I've always wondered how dads handled that. I mean in the ladies room all the "private business" is done behind closed doors so nothing is seen but the men's room is a little more open.
1 person likes this
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
11 Dec 07
My husband takes our daughters to the restroom in public places, but I'm usually on bathroom duty when we're in public.
I agree with you taking your 9 year old son to the bathroom because like you say there are too many strangers and too many possibilities. Scary possibilities!
@breezie (1246)
• Canada
10 Dec 07
I think that 4 is too young to go into a public restroom alone. My son is 6 and I take him into the ladies washroom with me. He doesn;t have any problem with it and neither so I. Mind you I do let him go into the stall by himself while I stand outside. My daughter is 9 and I have just recently started letting her go into public washrooms alone, even still I go in with her more often than not. It's better to be safe than sorry especially these days.
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Isn't sad that we even have to think about these things? Wouldn't life be better without perverts!!!
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Am in shock 4! Total agreement with the never answer. My daughter is 4. And has started wanting to use her own stall which is fine. I stand right there with her. I will when she is older go with her as well.13 and 14 year olds get kidnapped,hurt just like four. Does she watch the news?
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
12 Dec 07
My son isn't old enough to go to a public toilet on his own yet, but when he becomes old enough i would let him.
I think i may let him as long as he feels comfortable to go to a public toilet alone when he is about 6-7 ish, but no earlier than that.
I would make sure the place looked safe enough 1st and i would stand outside the public toilet waiting for him so i know that he is alright.
I would also keep an eye out for how long hes in there for just so i know hes not hurt himself or got into any problems or trouble.
I would be as aware as i can be, because you never know whos around and what problems could happen within even minutes.
~Joeys wife
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
10 Dec 07
My son is almost 8. He has been allowed to go into public restrooms by himself since he was about 6. Between 5-6 he would go into a stall without me in the womens restroom. There are some places that I still do not feel comfortable with him going in alone. Rarely, I still make him go in the womens bathroom with me, but in his own stall.
1 person likes this
@JaLuvYa (175)
• United States
10 Dec 07
My daughter just turned eight and I have my youngest brother who is seven with me most times when we go out. I still take them into the rest room. My little brother still goes in the ladies room with me because people are sick out there. Just the thought of my little one trapped in a stall with some pervert...AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
They are still too small to me, and to easy a target if someone realizes that they are unsupervised.
My mom told me this story about some news report she saw on CNN where this lady was with her nephew and let him go in the bathroom alone. She stood outside the door and waited and he never came out. Finally, she sent someone in after him, he had been sadomized and killed while she was standing outside the door in some shopping center. Whoever it was, had to walk right passed her to come out of the bathroom. Then she had to explain to her sister what happened.
All I can say is- not on my watch! Our job as adults is to protect the children in our care because they are too small and too fragile to defend themselves against predators.
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I can't even imagine having to tell me sister that and even worse having to carry that guilt!
@kimberlylynn (978)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I don't like my kids to go alone but they are under 6 years. My daughter likes to and if I let her it is usually one of those small bathrooms and I wait outside and go in if I feel she has been in too long. Not to mention I like to make sure they are washing properly!
