Online Dating...

@Malyck (3428)
Australia
December 10, 2007 4:49pm CST
I'd love to know if any of you have ever explored the rapidly expanding world of online dating, and share any stories if you will. Have you ever started dating someone you met online? How did it work out? What do you think of it compared to meeting and dating in real life? Do you think that it is easy for people to pretend to be someone else through a computer? A friend of the family met her husband of 4 years on a dating website. =) I've made many friends from social networking sites, such as myLot and mySpace, but I've never done internet dating (especially since I am already in a wonderful relationship =D) Share your stories and opinions, if you will =D Mal.
3 people like this
11 responses
@makatas (1101)
• Greece
11 Dec 07
Well not dating exactly, but i have met in real life girls i had come across in chatrooms.One of them we met and didnt go really well, she was much younger and not my syle, also i wasnt hers, so we didnt meet again.The other, though, we kept talking for 3years before we managed to meet each other for some minutes and she was my style.I still speak with her, but she lives pretty away and shes dating someone else i guess. Both meetings could lead to dating but it didnt...
1 person likes this
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
Well it's nice that you made a friend from the service, if not romance. =D Are you in a relationship at the moment?
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
11 Dec 07
I met my husband online back in... 1998? That's been a long time ago now! :P We weren't actually on a "dating" site... just a chat room for college students. When we started talking, I was tentatively seeing someone at my school, and I wound up dating or almost dating several other people while talking to vorbro (which is the username he uses here as well as the one he used in the chat room where we met)... but at that time we were just friends. He didn't think that I was seriously interested in him because I did talk to so many other people, and I didn't think he was seriously interested in me because... I'm a nutcase. :P I had told a mutual online friend that I liked him, and then sometime in the middle of my talking to him online our mutual online friend wound up moving across the country to be with his best friend, who also lived in the same apartment with vorbro. So suddenly our mutual online friend was right there in the same place with him, and she wound up telling him I liked him after he had a particular bad day one day. It kinda snowballed and then... I wound up having to quit school because of illness, and didn't have anywhere to go. So I came to Michigan where vorbro was. And I've been here every since. We didn't technically get married until 2004, but we've lived together since May 1999. :)
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
WOW! That's such a terrific story =) I hope you plan on telling your son when he grows up. I would cherish that story forever if you were my parents. Unfortunately my parents' true meeting is now a tangle of lies and I doubt I'll ever know the truth. I love them dearly, though, including their hidden pasts =) "and I didn't think he was seriously interested in me because... I'm a nutcase.:P" I love that, it's very much something I would say =) Thanks for sharing, Lecanis, I hope that you, Vorbro and the little one continue to be exceedingly happy together!
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
11 Dec 07
Thanks! I will definitely tell my son that story! :) I really don't know much about when my parents met, to be honest. My mother was pregnant with my half-brother, and very young, and my father was... busy trying to pretend not to be gay? He had been married once previously, and that hadn't worked out (wonder why?) and I know that at some point he was a Christian minister/evangelist of some sort. I don't really remember much from the time when they were married, but I've heard it was pretty horrible, and they were divorced when I was still very, very young. So I don't have that kind of neat story in my family either. :P Hehe, yes, we do seem to have a lot in common, including believing we are nutcases! *giggles*
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
Oh see, now that's where I think you're wrong - that is a neat story of your parents. =D Unfortunate that they didn't have the best relationship, but excellent that they came together and made you and all that =) I know that my mother was 28, with my 3 year old sister and not working the most respectable job to survive and bring in some money, when she met my dad (working or not, I'm yet to find out) who was probably recently out of jail, and also recently out of a self-destructive relationship with his ex (who already had a daughter, and he became a kind of adoptive father to her.. and to my sister), and shortly after meeting (my guess is within a few weeks/months), mum fell pregnant to me and they stayed together until just over a year ago =) They're excellent people, though. I can't imagine being raised by a better family, or with a better set of morals and beliefs etc. Do you still have close relationships with your folks? I know you said that you don't really associate much with them Christmas/Holiday Season-wise... But being insane is so much fun! =) (My dad always says that I'm lucky to never be alone, even when there's no-one else around =P) I need lunch, my stomach is eating itself and doing various acrobatic.. things. =)
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 07
i actually have a pretty good story about online dating. in february of this year a guy messaged me on myspace. he seemed pretty nice and sincere - unlike all of the other pathetic messages i'd get from guys on there - so i replied. i'm glad i did. we started talking. a lot. all of the time even. as months went on we got closer and talking on the phone. we ended up talking everyday possible, even for 12hours straight a couple of days! we just loved one another's company. then on october2 i went down to kentucky to meet him, i lived in michigan. i stayed at his place for about 8days and then we went up to michigan and stayed at my place for about 5days. then we came back down to kentucky, got an apartment and have been living together since - and plan to marry on the 29th of this month! yes, it's all really fast.. but that's how we do things, haha. although i have to admit, it is really easy for someone to pretend to be someone they're not online so i always caution people to be careful. don't ever just meet random people. i talked with my boyfriend everyday for hours at a time for 8months before meeting him. he wasn't just some random guy from a chat room or something. he was, and is, my best friend.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
=) That is a pretty good story. I don't think that you guys have moved too fast at all. I know what's it's like to meet someone and to have that instant connection (online, in person or through letters). I hope you have a great wedding and a wonderful marriage! =D
• United States
14 Dec 07
aw, thank you so much! :]
@bethyboo (399)
• United States
11 Dec 07
You know, I noticed something, reading your responses here. Everyone keeps stressing how you have to be careful because people can portray themselves as something they are not, online. Well, how is that different from dating in the real world? That "doctor" you met at a bar? Could be a college dropout who skimmed a couple of med school texts for big words before he hit the watering hole that night. And this would be no more difficult than typing something false online. So I believe the two are much closer than people think. It so happens I met my husband online, on a game. And we just felt that connection, like everyone always says- "You'll just know, when it's the real thing." Well, it was, and we've been married for a year now, and our first son just turned a month old. So virtually, or in real life, you just have to keep holding out till you know it for sure.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
Yours is definitely the best response to this discussion, Bethyboo =D Thank you for putting forward the other side of the argument. Everything that you've said is extremely true. It's just as easy for someone to portray themselves falsely in person as online, and it can take just as long to figure out the truth in both situations. Thanks for responding, happy best response, Christmas, New Year and life - with your husband and watching your son grow up (not too fast, I hope) =D Mal.
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Of course it is always possible for someone to portray themselves as they are really not. But on-line dating is only a start point and as long as we keep that in mind it is perhaps far better than any other way. You can meet so many people this way. As long as you know you must get together before you can really know what that person is like you will do fine. Following my first marriage I was not sure I would ever find anyone again. I was 61. I put my profile out there and met two women locally that I dated. But the one that really caught me was in another city 250 miles away. We ultimately met and while it was a weekend romance for awhile I finally moved down and in with her. We married after about 6 months. There is really no difference with internet dating if you keep in mind that you must finally meet and be with each other before really you know that person. It can happen and does all the time. And your options increase greatly.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
I totally agree, I didn't mean to cast any aspersions against online dating in the wording of my post at all, and I hope that I haven't. =) I did just read your story on the "50, should I give up on romance?" post. It was truly beautiful - both the way your life has been, and in the way you worded it and your optimism. =D Thanks for responding here also, J! Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and much future happiness =) Mal.
• United States
11 Dec 07
I met my beloved through a site called " Match Doctor ". I've been with him for a year now. Our meet date was December 8th. I lovr him with all my heart so I KNOW these sites work.. just gotta weed out the bad seeds. I met a couple before meeting Ted. I can't imagine life without him now :D
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
=) I'm very happy for you. I agree; online dating is much like real-life dating in that way - you have to meet some "bad seeds" and maybe even experience heartbreak and losers before you find the right person for you =D
• United States
11 Dec 07
I tried it about 7 years ago because I was sick of meeting the wrong guys. I tried a site that at the time was free and was recommended to me by a guy-friend. I took my time to fill out all the questions and I was very strict with my criteria and it only came up with 4 or 5 matches. I decided that I would not even consider anyone who did not take the time to answer the questions as to me that shows they are not seriously looking and just trying to find flings. I took the initiative to write the the guys that I found I was interested in and would email them for a month or so before considering to meet them. I dated one for a short while, he was ok but liked his cats way too much and it kind of creeped me out and I'm allergic to them. I dated another for 2 dates and was so disappointed because on paper we were perfect for each other but I felt no sparks. I had about given up when my last choice asked me out and I just decided to go and be done with it so I can say I gave it a try. Well I tell you, it was love at first sight and we were never apart from our first date forward. We are married with kids and he still gives me butterflies when I think of him. People laugh sometimes when I tell them how we met but I'm not embarrassed. We would have never met otherwise, since we are both more on the shy side. I'm all for it, but you have to be very careful and not jump into meeting someone quickly. I did fall for someone chatting, he seemed like Prince Charming. In the back of my mind I knew it didn't add up but I wanted it to be true so I continued. It took months of losing sleep because of late night chats, many phone conversations, cards, gifts, dreams shared...then I found out he was married with children and was MUCH older than he said. You've heard of buyer beware, chatter beware too!
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
That last line is classic! I think a lot of people should heed that warning, for sure =) It's funny how people can seem perfect on paper but they're just boring, or there are no sparks as you said. There's no reason that you should feel embarrassed for the way you met your husband, nor any reason that people should make fun. I think it's a great avenue for people who don't feel like trying to pick up in bars, or just aren't overly sociable. =) It's interesting how many of the responders so far have actually met current or past partners on every day social networking websites, not even trying to find a partner =) I think it's wonderful. I hope that you continue to have a loving life together and with your children. Thanks for your response Kim =)
@ky1119 (699)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I definitely think it's easy for someone to pretend to be something or someone they are not. I actually had that happen to me once, and it wasn't the best experience. I did date someone I met on myspace, and ended up marrying him! We've been married for nine months now and are wonderfully happy. I'm not at all against online dating. One just must be careful and extra cautious.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
I agree, although people need to be cautious when letting anyone into their life =) I'm so pleased for you and your new husband! Thanks for responding! Merry Christmas and all the best for the future!
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Well, first off meeting and dating in real life, isn't much different, other than it starts out in person. I met a wonderful man 2 1/2 years ago, we were in a chat room for police and fire personel. It has worked out great we are still together. We started chatting one on one, then exchanged phone numbers, and then 4 weeks after we met online he flew down to spend a week's vacation with me. After he flew back home, I found myself putting things in storage at my mom's, giving things to my daughters, and packed what I could in my car, and moved 1600 miles to move in with him. So, we met online Feb 21st and I arrived at his house April 28th, but 10 minutes into our first chat, we both knew we would be together. Yes, it is easy for people to pretend they are something or someone that they are not, but since I stayed mainly with chat rooms having to do with firefighting, it was pretty easy to figure out the fakes. I will say that meeting someone online is not for everyone and I would have never thought I would have met more than just friends, which I made a lot of friends and met some in person, but I met the most wonderful man.
@Malyck (3428)
• Australia
10 Dec 07
That's such a terrific story! I'm happy for both of you - I have friends who went through a similar experience on mySpace (as I mentioned above), within a few weeks of talking (online, and on the phone), my friend was on a plane interstate to see him and stayed there for a month before he moved home with her =) Unfortunately they're not together right now, but I think that it will work out in the end =) I know exactly what you mean about it not being for everyone, but I think a lot of people are like you and surprise themselves by meeting someone online and finding a really wonderful thing. For all the potential liars and fakes that there may be, I think it really opens doors to meeting great people from across your country or around the world that you otherwise would not have met =) Thank you for sharing, and I wish you both the best for the future together! Merry Christmas =D Mal.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
14 Dec 07
Well, I've relayed the story about my husband and I but I wanted to add that in real life people pretend as well.
• Indonesia
11 Dec 07
I don't really into an online dating. Even I did join one site, but it was like 3 years ago. I feel like so desperate by going into an online dating sites, for me it's like admitting to myself that I'm so desperate, and I don't want to see myself like that. Besides, I found that many people on the online dating didn't give their real information about who they are. If they making nickname, then I have no problem with that, but giving a fake information that's different. So..I guess I couldn't trust an online dating service.