I think its a disease called "Learned Helplessness"

@raychill (6530)
United States
December 10, 2007 5:21pm CST
I walked out of my office today because I was pretty mad. I work in a technology department and a marketing department. Whenever I'm in the marketing department there is this one person I work with who treats me like I'm his personal technology assistant. Most of the time I'm just like 'whatever' and I help him. To avoid a long story, This guy and another co-worker basically told me that I should "Take time away to personally train" this guy. Uh.. seriously? HECK NO. They were treating me like I was obligated to help him. First of all, I help because I'm nice and I know how to solve his idiotic problems (they are seriously idiotic, sometimes he can't find that button on the email to send the mail...you know the one that says SEND) but we have a help desk that you are supposed to call when you need...what? HELP. Duh. Anyway, this guy in general is one of those people who is very co-dependent. Rather than looking up something himself "what is that departments number? How do you spell multiply? Who was the first woman on the moon?"... he just blurts out his questions and expects someone to answer him. It doesn't matter if you're trying to work... having a conversation with someone or on the phone. He's very oblivious to that also. peopleonmylotaskstupidquestionstheycouldeasilyresearchtoobuti'llignorethat! Personally, I find co-dependency to be one of the worst traits in a human being. With exceptions, of course. Then again, I've always been a very independent person who will go for help as a last resort. Are you co-dependent? Do you know co-dependent people? How do you feel about co-dependency? and of course I mean co-dependency in an excessive way. In some ways everyone is a little co-dependent.
2 people like this
4 responses
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
15 Dec 07
Bah! The chick I used to work with in the two-year old class was majorly clueless and it drove me up a wall! She always needed help and never did anything asked of her without having to be told what and had to be told 50 billion times. She was and still is helpless. I don't have the patience for that after awhile. I'm like you that I'm nice and will do what I can, but there comes a point when you just want to slap that other person silly. I'm not very dependent on people and it bugs me when people need you to do everything for them. I don't mind the occassional question or occassionally needing help, but some people are all the time needing someone to help them along.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
15 Dec 07
yeah! exactly. i mean, today I was helping him with something. but then he called the help desk. I was happy for that. He's just ridiculous. It just makes me so sad that people have to be like that. that they can't actually go look for anything themselves. I'm also very independent...sO i guess i just can't tolerate people who aren't.
• United States
11 Dec 07
I was wondering why you did not space out the mylot part?
1 person likes this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
11 Dec 07
not spacing it out was to indicate a "under the breath" type comment that one would say if they were having a verbal conversation. Since you can't have verbal conversations on here... that's what I do to indicate that. Meaning it's not really an important comment but I wanted to say it anyway and paranthesis just wouldn't have done it justice.
• United States
10 Dec 07
My wife's a bit like this. She'll ask me 'what day is it?' or 'how old am I again?', 'what are our kids middle names?'. I think she considers it to be delegating, leaving her brain free for higher functions. I'm sure she has no trouble figuring these things out for herself when I'm not there. But it's easier to ask me than think for herself. Or maybe she's just trying to make me feel useful for something..
@raychill (6530)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Ha ha. Yeah I watch Beauty and the Geek and the winning team Geek was saying that his Beauty suffured from this "learned helplessness disease". Where she just doesn't like to do things for herself so she acts helpless. I think people really just don't like to think for themselves. Sometimes I just can't understand it. It's not that hard! Look it up! This guy I work with, while he's had a lot of medical problems I can't just chalk it up to that. He just can't be bothered to do things for himself. Heck he goes to get coffee in the afternoon and gets mad if we don't remind him when it's 3 and the coffee is made. We didn't make the coffee and we don't drink it.. why should WE remember for HIM!? It frustrates me so. I'm sure your wife just likes to make you feel useful. Funny though because my parents are the opposite where my dad can't remember my brother and i's birthdays sometimes or how old we are (he forgets that one a lot) and my mom knows like everything. She could recite our SSN's like nothing. I have a hard enough time remembering my own name yet alone SSN! ha ha.
• United States
11 Dec 07
Your colleague does seem to exhibit co-dependence and/or extreme laziness. That must be very frustrating. I don't work with anyone quite that bad, but there are a few that routinely go and ask someone else a question rather than figure it out for themselves. Some times referred to around here as 'RTFM rule non-compliance'.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
15 Dec 07
This man did have a stoke some 15 years or so ago. So most people have just learned to enable his helplessness and chalk it up to the stroke. I don't think it has anything to do with that. I refuse to believe that it's all about his stroke.
• United States
7 Jan 08
That is frustrating! I use to work with people like that all the time. I would be there working my butt off - all focused and insert stupid question! WTF?! I'm busy to people! LOL I sure hope I'm not that co-dependent. I'd have to smack myself if so LOL.