Holiday Blues

United States
December 11, 2007 2:17am CST
While the holidays should be a happy, family get together time of the year, I feel as though my mood is quite the opposite this year. It seems that ever since my daughter has passed away that I just want the holidays to be done and over with. This will be our second Christmas without her. I feel terrible saying this because I have 3 other little ones that deserve a good Christmas. Perhaps that's what has me down so much this year. I'm completely out of time and I'm not sure what it is that I'm supposed to do anymore. Last year, I gave my children a wonderful Christmas. This year, I've had so many bills come down on me that it seems like I'm drowning. I ended up finding out that I possibly have Chrons disease. Being so sick put me out of work for a little while and the medical bills have wracked up like there is no tomorrow. I used up all of our savings trying to pay my medical bills and medical bills for the kids who got nasty colds that seem to be going around like a plague. I hate being so depressed over the holidays but now I feel like I'm in the dark. Does anyone know of any websites that I can go to that will help me with this Christmas? I am the kind of person that donates to every red bucket and bell ringer during the holiays and now I'm the one rining the bell I suppose. I've never had to do this before so if anyone knows any organizations, please let me know? Also, does anyone know what I can do to help calm my nerves and soothe some of this depression? I can't get into a counselor it seems until after the holidays. Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks again guys.
4 people like this
6 responses
• Canada
16 Dec 07
I feel for your loss. I lost my first child 33 years ago and holidays like Christmas make the pain of grief worse. Treasure the three other little angels that you have and know that you--we, all of God's creatures--are always supplied, supported, and loved. I know how it feels to be crushed by bills--I had a stroke a year and a half ago, triggered by the loss of my store of 20 years, and I have been hit by depression (according to my neurologist, stroke victims, and those who have suffered some form of brain injury, are more prone to develop depression while they are recovering). But we just have to soldier on. Do you have any relatives who can offer you a shoulder to lean on, financially and otherwise? Sometimes, a loving hug from a familiar face works wonders. May you and your family be blessed and prospered always!
• United States
12 Dec 07
What about gathering you and the kids together to plan a Christmas Memorial meal that is full of happy planned activites that can be done together.Than gather around the table Christmas day enjoying the meal you fixed together.( With maybe a $1.00 gift from dollar store for each child to unwrap )So start planing now and Ill keep you and the children in my prays . Pray you end up with a blessed Christmas after all.
1 person likes this
@suehan1 (4345)
• Australia
11 Dec 07
i am so sorry to hear about your daughter.it must be so hard on you.especially when you are not well and have three other little ones to tend to as well.are you a single mum?as you did not mention a partner. i am sorry i do not live closer,as i would come over and give you a big hug.my son has just lost his father 6 weeks ago, and i know what grieve is like at the moment,i have been depressed as well over this situation and i know i have to be strong for my son and i have been lucky enough to get support through my friends here at mylot .so please feel free to chat to me at any time you are down and out.also see what support services you have in your area.here we have life line and they have a free service to help you with all sorts of things.so check it out .i wish you all the best.cheers sue
1 person likes this
@seared (261)
• China
11 Dec 07
I am sorry you have to experience this during the holiday.I totally understand what you are feeling now.because my father just passed away last year near our Chinese new year.so last year my sister , brother and my mom just spend the first new year without my dad, it was really hard for us.because we never celerate new year without him since I was born.the festival made us feel harder than usual.this year will be the second too.about the website, I'm sorry, I can't help.but I think you a big mun, so you should be brave for other three little kids. big hug,wish you good!and Merry Christmas!
• United States
11 Dec 07
Thank you so much for the hug and wish. I'm truly sorry to hear about your dad. The holidays certainly make the pain so raw. I know that she would not want me to be sad around the holidays. She certainly had such a love for life and I know that she would want us all to enjoy this time of year. It's just hard to concentrate on such things knowing that she isn't here with me physically. Thanks again.
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2710)
• Philippines
15 Dec 07
Hi...I know that it is hard. When we have kids, we dont actually divide our 100% love for them. We give them 100% each of our love... so dont think that its bad to be sad knowing that you still have 3 little kids. The place of your departed daughter is irreplaceable. So no matter how many kids you have, you will still feel her lost. Right now, just stay strong for your remaining kids. They need you. Your departed daughter knows how much you love her... My heart is with you.
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
Sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope you get what you wish for this Christmas. As for calming nerves, I suggest you do some yoga or exercise. You can do it at home, just buy a DVD. I agree it's not the right time to consult with a counselor. It's going to make things a lot harder for you. Good luck and god bless us all.