Wrong Love at Wrong Time? What would you do, what could you say?
By calicot
@calicot (256)
Philippines
December 18, 2007 11:45am CST
How many of you have been in this situation?
During my college senior days way back '95, I have had a fancy for this junior girl classmate in one of my back subjects. She's so nice and accomodating, I'm very comfortable talking to her. Due to our constant communication, exchanges of aspirations, ideas I slowly developing a deeper feeling for her. Think she has some feelings too. Unfortunately, she's one of my friend's going steady girlfriend. Although I knew that it could be wrong, but when you feel in love you do, say, act awkwardly. So it happened that my friend soon found out about it, and before long started showing estrangement, and animosity towards me. I tried to patch things up and made apologies to him just not to loose our friendship, but to no avail. Talked about wrong love at the wrong time. This went on until I graduated college but the feeling of guilt, rejection, loss haunted me for a few years. Even after I met my current partner, I still have hopes of reconciliation with them. It was up until early this year that I decided to "look" them up at friendster, I found out that they're in both friends' list. So I invited them both and hope for the best, which they both accepted. Being cautious not to start another quarrel, I communicate in short replies. But somehow the long wait made my feelings for the girl return again, especially when I found out later that they (my friend and her) have broken up a few years after I graduated. "So does that mean she's available?" I thought to myself. If ever I would pursue her again, it could and would damage my current relationship. Again I'm in the same situation as I was before: wrong love at the wrong time. So maybe we're meant to be just acquaintances, just ordinary friends. Sometimes I'm thinking "What could have been if we were?".
If you were in my shoes what would you do? Or can you please give your say in this? Thanks very much my friends.
Btw, Just my thoughts (pursuing her), I will still be with my current partner.
3 responses
@tryxiness (4544)
• Philippines
19 Dec 07
Try to ask her out for coffee. I mean, in a way, you are still fixated by your “what ifs”. It will somehow help you sort things out for yourself. If the girl won’t meet up with you, then I guess just let go of your what ifs since you’re somewhat committed (and I think this might haunt you – clinging on the what ifs).
And if you will have a chance of meeting her up. Sort your feelings, it could be that the feeling might still be there and this time “could” be the right time, or it could be that the feelings you have for her then was something temporary.
Try to do it soon so that you won’t have regrets.
@gigaclix2007 (49)
• Philippines
19 Dec 07
Taking her out on a date will give you a chance to know her better. I mean there is after all a huge difference from the "middle school" girl and the girl of "now". Know what I mean. Who knows, after your date, maybe your fixations will have lessened or increased. Being that she is your friend's ex, try to keep it on the downlow. Keep it as a mutual friend relationship until you know where you want to take it, after all you are still with someone. Good luck!!
1 person likes this
@gigaclix2007 (49)
• Philippines
19 Dec 07
Sorry, made a mistake, i meant "junior" not "middle school". Thanx.
1 person likes this
@calicot (256)
• Philippines
19 Dec 07
Well she has a striving biz, and I did told her that I'll set to meet her sometime and help out even in a small way. Yeah you're probably right, I'm thankful that you have an open mind regarding this bit of dilemna I have and giving me some positive reaction. I guess yes maybe I'm clinging to something which I should finish, close the book, and go on the soonest possibility. Maybe, we might end up closer as friends really rather than what I would have wanted for her and me to be.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
19 Dec 07
hmm. your discussion seems you still love that girl and have the anticipation that one day she will also accept you. But have you got another GF now? If it is so, then it will be chaeting to your current Gf. think about it and then only take your decision.
@calicot (256)
• Philippines
19 Dec 07
I don't know really if it was love or I was just fixated with her owing to the fact that I never got the chance to patch up everything before we unexpectedly and rudely parted ways back in college.Maybe I'll sort things out and my feelings too. Clarifications though, as your opinion, would you say then that if I meet up with this girl I would be cheating with my current partner? Or only if I would pursue having a relationship with her while into one right now? Btw, thanks for your reply. Have a nice day too.
@frankyluo (54)
• China
19 Dec 07
hello,calicot,i'm sorry for your question and i haven't any experience about it.only i can say that forward it and do what you want to do.
