What makes a cheater?

The thought of cheating is not cheating but considering cheating is cheating.

Most of the people in monogamous relationships are quite clear on what they consider "cheating" and what's a fair game is. However your partener can still cross the line without really cheating. these subtle actions can negatively affect trust and create conflict in the relationship. in addition, what might be considered crossing the line to one person might not be to his/her partener. These behaviours can cause to one partener's level of respect and faithfulness to their relationship. In your case what happened is exactly what i described above. You kissed some and lost your Boyfriennd for 2 months. Its good of him he took you back. but kissing someone except him is cheating on him according to his thoughts. Thats why he has dropped you for two months may be he encountered the same situation himself( kissed or....someone else) and realised its not a big deal so he took you back. You know thats human behaviour. Now you are at guilt that you betrayed and he is not. He is at a plus that he took you back. Now if you repeat that you will lose a relationship. If thats O.K with you you do what you are doing if not just TAKE CARE

Does that make you a bad person? Just the fact that you are asking the question seems to point to you not being a bad person, or else you wouldn't even consider the question. 16 might a very young age to be attached to a boyfriend, you didn't have time to know many other people or learn more about life. That might be the problem. But not necessarily, you see temptation is there, for everyone. We all can feel attracted to other people regardless of having a boyfriend or even a husband. It's easy to feel attracted to someone else, easy and normal. The difference lies in what we do with that attraction, how we act on it. Some believe that if temptation is put in our way, it's for us to give into it. Some think that we we feel attracted to someone else we're bad people. I think that it's a matter of choice and commitment. If am in a relationship with someone, it is against my values to do something with someone else. If that relationship is not working anymore and I want out, then I will make sure that I am out before I am with someone else. Those are my values, doesn't mean they are the only/right ones. I think it is normal for you to feel the temptation, you're young and you've been with your boyfriend for quite a long time. It doesn't make you a bad person or that your boyfriend deserves someone else better than you. If you were able to ask him and he was honest he probably would tell you that he might have felt the same kind of temptation himself, several times. You say that even though you felt tempted you haven't acted and that is your choice. It shows that you are maturing and learning to make choices. Learning about commitment. Don't think that the temptations will disappear. They will always be there, one time or other, and it will always be your choice what to do with them according to your values. Because you started with your boyfriend at such a young age - and don't take me wrong i'm not saying that this is the case - I would probably stop and take inventory. What are exactly your feelings about him? Are you planning on spending the rest of your life with him? If so are you sure that it is what you really want and not because you've been together for so long? Don't get sidetracked by how long you've been together, really think about what you want and what your feelings are. At 16 or even 19 I wasn't even close to feel committed that way. Neither close or ready. However, a lot of people were. We all are different, and I added this last part because it is also possible that maybe you are not ready either. Or that feeling that sort of temptation is happening because you're not completely certain of what you want to do. I don't mean that this is the case, just that it is possible as well.

I agree that you're still very young, and I understand your desire to meet and do more in life rather than be tied to one person. That's why I don't believe in committed relationships at such an early age. I only started committing myself after college, so in my younger years I enjoyed the "freedom" that my attached friends and classmates didn't have. I think a person is better able to settle down into a steady relationship after he/she has experienced "exploring". It's not that I want you to break up with your boyfriend, nor am I encouraging you to be promiscuous. Exploring doesn't mean sleeping with everybody. What I'm worried about is that you may have these "desires to explore" for the rest of your life, and that will certainly affect your relationship and eventual marriage, if you tried only one guy all your life.

hello,melissacus,i don't think so,you are very young.you have long to walk,in your life,you need to study forgiving.and your life will very brightly.you only remember that living youeself,that's Ok. at last,happy new year and merry christmas.

Well, temptation is a part of life, it is what makes or breaks a relationship. If you cant resist temptation, then perhaps the one you are with isn't the right one. I got with my first girlfriend at 16, we married at 18, then divorced at 24. We both cheated, neither of us had experienced "what else was out there". Just a penny for your thoughts.

Your not a bad person.... You are young and have been with your boyfriend for 3 years or more.... Maybe you should be honest and talk with him and have a break so as you can find your self and if you still want to be together after this than so be it.... Get the temptation over and done with..... Have a taste so to speak of what is out there.... Than settle down....

I think its also a type of cheating. What made you act like this when you have got a BF? It is not fair. I understand your age but still if you do like this although you have a good BF, you are not loyal to him. You were lucky he took you back. Try to refrain from this else he may not take it well also.

You are still young and I bet that getting married is far from your mind. I guess, the fact that you are exploring the world beyond the ones you have with your bf is, you are quite ready to let go of him and personally, I think it’s ok. I mean, it is normal for a growing up kid to explore the world (whether kissing other guys or whatever). I do not think you are bad. It would be bad if you still continue to tell him that you love him when in fact you are ready to let go of him.