Do happy people depress you more?

@dmillman (2273)
United States
December 19, 2007 1:57pm CST
I have noticed, lately, that when I'm depressed that I get more depressed when I have to talk to those happy bubbly people. It's like fingernails down a chaulkboard to me. How about you?
3 people like this
8 responses
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I hate to see anyone depressed. For now, forget about the happy bubbly people and work on yourself. There must be some things tearing at your insides to make you feel so depressed. For sure, your situation is not as bad as you think. I bet that if you look around, you will see much to be thankful for. This is just a suggestion, otherwise you can go back to listening to screeching fingernails on a chalkboard...lol. I guess sometimes that is the best we have to work with.
4 people like this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
19 Dec 07
Thanks again sigma77!!!
3 people like this
@rx4life (1932)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I do know that we all need to be aware of the tone in which we address folks that might not be feeling as good as we are at the time...I feel like I'm ususally a pretty positive person..and sometimes I probably annoy the stuffin's out of people,but I do try to recognize the mood and space someone else is in and try to reign in my outgoingness ( is that a word?)...I have suffered depression myself at times and sometimes EVERYTHING annoyed me..but I always tried to hear the message hidden in the annoying moment and take the positive out of it...it would help lift me up eventually...so sorry you are having such trouble...you seem like such a wonderful person...hope I haven't annoyed you with my response!! LOL...Be well....
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Thank you for posting, and no, your comments didn't annoy me. It was nice to hear from the other side too, to help get a perspective on things - so, thanks again for sharing!
• United States
20 Dec 07
I think that seeing someone happy why you are feeling down makes you question why you can't feel like them. Usually I am not a "down" person..but if I were down..I would hope my friends would temper their bubblies and try to meet me where I am at. Sometimes people don't realize how another is feeling ..that the best way to help someone who is down is not through bubbly talk but by temperate understanding talk.
• United States
20 Dec 07
For me, it's not really that they seem so happy that gets me sad and down, it's the fact that usually these people just seem to be better then I am, in many ways. They seem almost flawless, as if they can Never do any wrong to anyone or to anything. Usually their very beautiful, good looking people, who know how to deal with people and just seem to naturally know what they want and are Not afraid to go after what they want. And usually these same people are thin, petite, and seem to be emotionally stable. And it's all this that seems to depress me all the more, so I think for someone like myself who is not very physically attractive, let alone thin or petite, who also gets a bit too emotional at times, I've learn that brehaps it's just best to stay with other average, obese people much like myself. What say you??
1 person likes this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Well littlefranciscan, it looks as thought you hit the nail on the head, so to speak. That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's a jealousy thing when you're depressed, "Why can't I be more like (name)?"
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Dec 07
simplegurl1969 - thank you for posting. It seems to me that we both have similar thoughts on this matter. It's like when people tell you to "snap out of it", "it will get better" and all of those clique'd (sp?) sayings. You're like, "Well, look how happy you are? You've probably never been depressed in your life, so what that heck makes you the authority on anything?"....... Thanks a lot for you post, as I found it very interesting to read!!!
• United States
20 Dec 07
You, my dear, are not alone! When I suffered from depression, the last person I wanted to be around was a happy person. Misery loves company!
2 people like this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Dec 07
So true, Live2Learn, so very true!!! It's weird how that all works, isn't it? It's kind of confusing too.
• United States
20 Dec 07
I do agree with LilmissB (Ithink that is her name) a little too. I am subject to falling into depression so I have to try to find ways to keep myself from getting to far! I am a social moody person as well. I find that when my boyfriend is frustrated or mood I tend to feed off of that. But when he is happy I feed off of that as well! So, I do need to surround myself with happy, positive people. It is contagious...where the big bad negative misery loves company, I found to beat the misery, you need the bigger better positive happiness to beat it into the ground...lol...did that make any sense at all?
1 person likes this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
24 Dec 07
Maybe when I'm just "down in the dumps", and not depressed, that happy people make me happy. It's just that since I've been going through this major depression and tried to kill myself, that it's affecting me differently. Who knows, I could be way off.
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
20 Dec 07
I've learned to manage my depressive episodes pretty well and I'm naturally an optimist. But I cannot STAND perky! Perky people tend to like to get up at dawn and happily hum while cheerfully making breakfast. ARRRRRGGHHHH! Happy itself is ok, as long as they aren't all chatty about it. If they are happily having a Public Display of Affection then at least they aren't babbling in my ear about it. So I agree.
2 people like this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Thanks for seeing my side of things RosieS57 and for sharing it with all of us. That's the word I was looking for - perky!!!
• United States
20 Dec 07
Yeah, perkiness in the morning is really annoying to me. I am so not a morning person and don't really like to talk or be talked to let alone listen to whistling!
1 person likes this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
22 Dec 07
I'm with you on that one Live2Learn!!! My hubby knows to stay away from me in the morning and to not bother me until AFTER I've had my tea!
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
20 Dec 07
I am just amazed when I see happy people. Maybe one should just not compare him/herslef with why others are happy. :)
1 person likes this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Yes tryxiness, I understand that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others. That's what my problem is, and I do know that. My boss even told me that once, a few months ago when I was still working. I know I shouldn't, but I do, and I just can't seem to stop. Have any thoughts on that?
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
21 Dec 07
How about this, try thinking of the strengths in you. Things you are fond of doing and you feel great each time you do that. It may be a first step to overcoming comparing yourself to others. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Dec 07
comparing ourselves to other, i think is something we all do from time to time and sometimes i have a problem with this myself. but you can't do it! it will only get you down b/c there are always going to be people better looking than you, better off than you, better house than you, better car than yours, whatever...you know?! I do that sometimes...my man's maxim will be laying out and a total bombshell will be plastered all over it...how depressing. I will catch myself comparing my looks to Fergies or the lead singer of the Pussycat dolls or something dumb....you can't do it! I have look in the mirror and (inside and outside) and concentrate on what I like...on what is good. You know. Depression can happen so easily and so fast, before you know it you are so far down in the dumps it is hard to get out! Just know that you have people that care!
1 person likes this
• China
24 Dec 07
sometimes,kindalike you.I'm really depressed recently,'cause I quit my job,I just can't bear it.I hate this kind of job.
1 person likes this
@dmillman (2273)
• United States
24 Dec 07
Well, thanks for responding huanyue06. I hope that things get better for you!
@besthope44 (12141)
• India
10 Oct 10
Laughter is best medicine to all disease so as the depression. It will through the pressure in mind and lightens it and feel happy.