I really need your advice badly?

Kuwait
December 20, 2007 4:27pm CST
I really need your advice badly regarding one of our friend come in my house today, actually they have mis-understanding with my hubby but that is long time ago, he made lot of trouble to us even to our firend, he came by him self to our house today, i dont know actually what he need. but my hubby close the door in his face & he call even my hubby close the door, so i told to my hubby that what he make to his friend is not good but still he refuse, he told me his the kind of person to forget at all, i dont really know what big mistake he did even our friend dont answer also his call, do you think that my hubby make a wrong or right decission what he did or i need to say sorry to this person. pls i really need your advice. thank you....
3 people like this
16 responses
@AmbiePam (51158)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Do you trust your husband's judgment in general? Does he normally do things you trust are right? If so, I would just let it go and respect my husband's wishes. However, if you feel there is more to the story, I would pursue the subject with your husband, but very carefully so he wouldn't get very mad by you bringing it up. I wish you the best of luck.
• Kuwait
20 Dec 07
Thanks for your responce, yes i do trust my husband descission, because he never make this to another people, we have also friend that make also a problem but they are okey know, not like this man almost a year he dont like to talk to him. even answer his call. i ask my husband regarding this happen just he said leave him.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (51158)
• United States
20 Dec 07
So then this is probably a good decision for both of you. It must be nice to know you have a husband you can trust. I'm not married, but I've seen a lot of people who cannot trust their spouses. I'm glad to hear you can trust yours. As well as he can trust you too. : )
• Kuwait
21 Dec 07
Thanks AmbiePam, Yes i do really trust my husband. Everytime we have a problem, we share it to each other. We both happy as a family with our daughter. Just only last night. He said that he is not our friend anymore. Even our other friend he did not forgive him what he did. I tried to ask them what is the reason why they won't forgive this man but, they said that no need because it's really unforgetable. That is why i choose to be quite and respect what's their decission. Thank's for your responce
1 person likes this
• China
21 Dec 07
He does the matter is worth the speech which you tiusts Accepts him to do for the friend I also can like you and your husband's procedure
1 person likes this
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
Thank you for your response dear friend lilijial...
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
21 Dec 07
it is probably best to let it go...after some time goes by and emotions are calmer you can ask for the details then
• Kuwait
21 Dec 07
Yes your right. I hope that sooner he will tell me what is the real reason. Thank you for your response.. have a good day..
@lyn2008 (444)
• China
21 Dec 07
Well,I am sorry to hear that from you.I am always friendly to everyone,I want to be friends with everyone.But somebody can agree with me,they think if you don't bully somebody,somebody will bully you.What do you think about this?If you agree with my opinion,you should let your hubby know that how to live happy with others,it is really a very important relationship philosophy.Do you think so?
• Kuwait
21 Dec 07
Thank you for your response lyn2008. But, if you know this man that I'm talking about, i don't think so if you like him as one of your friend. I live a happy family with out a doubt because my hubby is a wonderful, responsible, and a great person to his friends and family. Ok, I understand your opinion in this matter. So what you can advice for me in this case. Do i Have to talk to my hubby? or Do i have to enter between the two of them? Or do i have to respect my husband decission? agree or not agree?
@lyn2008 (444)
• China
22 Dec 07
Sorry,I don't have experience of married life,so I think I can't help you with that.
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
yup, im with you cherylal:)
@Netsbridge (3242)
• United States
22 Dec 07
Ohara_1983, I am also compelled to ask you if this friend is your lover or ex-lover. If this man made lots of trouble for your family, then why, indeed, are you so engrossed on mending a relationship with this man that was not there? Is this man your lover or ex-lover?
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
Actually his not my lover or ex-lover, i know this guy i already married almost 5 years, his the long time friend of my hubby, as per one of our friend just forget that mad, his place will be in mental hospital that what they told me :)
• United States
24 Dec 07
If this person is truly sick mentally, then you should be assisting him and seeking help for him. If he is truly mentally sick and keeps coming to you all, then he is probably expecting some assistance from you all. My added advice is that you also try to contact his family, which in some cases may be the remedy he truly needs. God's speed.
• Kuwait
21 Dec 07
I believe your husband has a deep reason why he did that, and for what ever it is he might tell you in the future or not but you have to respect. he doesnt hurt the man phyhsically..its enough that it is the only thing he did..imagine all the trouble he have made before but still they dont mind until now....maybe this is the biggest trouble....just let it go...
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
yup, he never hurt the man, but he close the door in his face. he never do to anybody before just before yesterday.
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
Its okay that he just closed the door than hurt the man physically... hope he will not come again...
@hotsatya (240)
• India
22 Dec 07
its really a big mistake that you close the door on his face.but right now live all what happen in your past,now you talk to him quietly and say sorry really he is never refuse your sorry.because i practically used it in life.best of luck
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
I think you dint understand what i wrote actually, it is my husband close the door to his friend, but they have already a problem long time ago,not only one time but more than once, some of co-mylotters here replied that i agree all what they said because they understand very well what i mean. anyway thanks you for your reply.
• India
21 Dec 07
You are the best judge rather than seeking advise from others.You discuss the subject with your husband. He may disclose valid reasons. you analyse and explain your stand. For this petty incident don't invite trouble to your smooth family life.
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
thank you for your response & advice ganga. have a merry merry christmas:)
• India
21 Dec 07
Hi Ohara_1983, In my opinion it is best for you to keep quite.Let them sort out their mis-understanding.Don't show any interest to the incidents and don't ask about this incident to your hubby.My fond request is that you do not get any mis-understanding with your hubby. Time will make things alright. Good Luck.
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
yup, I do those thing that's why i never ask my hubby, just i wait the right time hope it will work.
• India
21 Dec 07
i think if ur hubby is right then why u should want to feel sorry. might be the mistake was his.
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
in the bigenning i feel sorry because, i dont know the whole story, but one of our friend told me yesterday only, i found out that friend of ours have a big mistake. thats why my hubby told me forget those kind of people, even they will make him free for a jaquar car:), my told me he will pay the whole amount of car without the free....
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15235)
• United States
21 Dec 07
Since your friend is a man, it would seem to be your husband's decision whether to remain friends with him or not. If this were a female friend, then he should discuss it with you first, but let's put it another way. If your husband had a female friend and she quarreled with you, wouldn't you tell him "I don't want that woman in my house!" I sure would. I sure wouldn't interfere if this were my husband and if the man asked me, I was say "This is between you and my husband! You two work it out on your own."
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
Thank you dannhh, yup i agree with you, because his friend called my house yesterday, and saying that why my hubby do this thing to him, just i told him actually i dont know what is the problem anyway, you & my hubby will solve those mis-understanding. just he said ok i will talk to him again.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
21 Dec 07
it is probably best to let it go...after some time goes by and emotions are calmer you can ask for the details then
• Kuwait
22 Dec 07
I agree with you, thanks for your reply
@SHAMRACK (8521)
• India
1 Jan 08
Hi, May my advice may differ and may not become success still my opinion might be that husband and wife relation is most valued it can be made complicated, ease, smooth, lovable, friendly so on. But this relation is to go with a one heart and the oneness that makes each other bother I hope even thou it is not happened in my life. I hope you are most valued person to judge and correct your husband and same is with your husband too if you love each other I am sure your husband each character is important for you.
@musicman6 (2391)
• United States
31 Dec 07
We don't have enough information on this post, as to whether he made a right decision or not! We have no idea what this is about! It sounds like you don't know, and we don't know either!
@CEN7777 (858)
• India
22 Dec 07
not happy - fighting with a friend
Hi O hara_1983, I didnot know why but I have feeling that this friend has come to say sorry or oppologise or giving him his explanation aboutwhat had happen between them. but your hubby does not like to excuse him as he might be thinking that he has doone all knowingly or intentionaly. Some times some word effect deper than sword and not easy to heal. Any way god is great and he has made an super ointment called time, every will become beTter with time. so please do not worry , just be their with you hubby and not loose trust on him.Pls keep in mind . You should not say sorry or favour to that person as your hubby may feel it bad or loose heart.
• United States
22 Dec 07
Let me first start off saying that you have first priority is to your husband. No matter what or who's friend that is. You should ask your husband in regards to what have happen between him and his friend and why your husband have not forgiven his friend...if it is a big thing to your husband then go with your husband... he is the one you have to live with and see every day not his friend....I always side with my family first before my friends...but if it is a family member who is in the wrong I would ask to see if it can be resolved if not I would just let it go...