Big decision...possibly the beginning of the end of a dream...
By Shannon
@visitorinvasion (7709)
United States
December 20, 2007 8:41pm CST
Have you ever had a dream almost become a reality, then priorities shift, putting that dream on the back burner or out in the cold altogether?
Have you ever tasted success, then due to circumstances out of your control, have to start over at square one only to have something that seems like a good thing end up taking away from your dream of rebuilding that success?
I'm sure there's few here that can honestly answer that question with a flat "no," so let me have your story. You already know I'm about to let you have mine, lol. Okie, here goes:
About 6 years ago, I repossessed a computer from one of my boys. My computer knowledge consisted of prepping invoices on h Hastech and 10th grade dabbling on an AppleIIe. Well, we had one of those "try it free" aol discs, so we tried it free. ATT I was working at the Barrel full time and often scraping hours to keep my insurance for my family. What does one have to do with the other? Wouldn't you like to know? hahaha j/k
Once we got online, I quickly grew bored with games and chat rooms. I had also heard that many people were working at home online and doing quite well at it. To be honest, the things I'm not good at are science, mechanics and sports, lol, so I figured if others could do it and get out from under "the man," so could I. I searched "make money online" and "work at home" and found some bogus stuff, BUT from that bogus stuff I learned...I learned a lot, in fact. By the same time the following year, I had purchased my first traffic exchange, for which I named myself here (VisitorInvasion.com). VI is my baby, and it tears me up inside how this story might end...anyhoo...
Within a year after that, I had worked for a very knowledgeable webmaster, who mentored me well. Learned html, and bought 3 more sites. Within another year, my mentor literally gave me 5 more. Long story short, I have now in total 6 traffic exchanges (yeah, my mentor and I mutually decided that a couple of them straight needed to die young) and an advertising portal. For three years solid I sat in this chair for 16-22 hours a day on the average and worked to build and promote my advertising memberships and sales. Then there were issues that rocked the industry and I had to change my sites and that really pissed off some of my members and customers when the sites were altered (all but one) to be manual click exchanges rather than autosurfs. Well, I'm a determined gal, and decided it was worth the time and investment to rebuild with new members and advertise heavier for new clients.
Just as business was picking back up, things changed and circumstances came into play forcing me into a real life-changing decision. It was time for me to stop working round the clock and pissing off my entire family in general. Truthfully, it was time to finish what I started, and by that, I mean my education. The education that I stopped cold after 2 years and an average gpa back in the day.
I thought I could do it all.
I had done it before...but alas, I am not 19 anymore.
I had also forgotten how tiring studying and cramming till all hours can be. There were stretches where I didn't even touch my computer for days.
This type of activity may be good for my sanity, but it is very bad for business, and totally not fair to my clients and members. I have officially spread myself too thin, thus having more decisions to make.
I can either let my sites die or I can lighten my load. I think I can manage to successfully advertise and rebuild 3 sites, but see, I have 7 and really hate like the dickens to part with any of them.
They all used to be comfortably successful, traffic producing sites, and the hosting can't be beaten. The only problem is, I now have a full time education and two part time jobs with a household to run.
A few hours ago, I ran a free appraisal on VI's domain and it prices at $5600-8400...that's just for the domain. I haven't ran the others yet...it's killing me that I even ran an appraisal for my baby, VI. I have a lot of time, money, and heart invested in VI, but in all fairness, I couldn't bear to see it go under any more than I can stand the thought of selling it. Decisions, decisions.
Okie, tell me your story, and if you don't want to share your story for whatever reason, at least try to put yourself in my place and tell me what you would do.
Thanks a bunch,
Shannon
4 people like this
7 responses
@pismeof (855)
• United States
21 Dec 07
O.K.Shannon,You began the conversation by saying that you wished to get out from "Under the Man".
My first question is if the sites aren't producing the income that you seek ,Why don't you rethink your strategy and go a different route?
You mention that V.I. is your baby ;I think if I were you I'd hang onto it,make it profitable and just spend the time necessary to maintain it and thus lighten your load by dumping the rest of your sites.
This will give you back some of the time you are looking for to pursue your education and devote to the household.
It seems you already know what you should do ;)
I feel for your pain :(
See you on Smiley, Good luck with your decision
Ralph
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
21 Dec 07
First of all you have to do what is best for you and your family. Why dont you get someone to help you out?
Anyway let me tell you about my dream. I always wanted to work with people and to help them out. I got my diploma for community services disability work. I started working and loved it. Then I met my husband and went to europe and lived there for a year. when I got back I went back to work. An opening came for a supervisor and I applied and was down to 2 people me and another lady. And then I found out I was pregnant so I had to let go of my dream. I do not regret doing so and never will.
3 people like this
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
21 Dec 07
I do get quite a bit of help around the house, but I still run most of the errands, run around paying bills, etc. Neither my husband or my son is interested in helping me with my online work...the hubs used to help, but he's found something else he enjoys much more...too bad myspace doesn't payout, lol.
I've done right by my family, and am working hard to ensure a decent future for us, but I'm really not sure what do do about the sites. I know I need to sell some of them, deep down I know it, but knowing it and making myself do it are two different things.
I'm glad that you have no regrets. I'll bet you're a great mom, too. Very nice to meet you, btw.
1 person likes this
@funfreak2k2 (1734)
• India
21 Dec 07
i read your story and my opinion is just this. You did not think of the time you will have to put in for the sites when they catch up. It caused heavy load on you.
now my story: i have been trying to earn online for several months and never made considerable income. that is because i have full time job, wife, children and ailing mother to look after. only male member. even though i am familiar with the strategies of making money online, i am unable to make money just because i cant spare the time it needs. i have blogs but i dont have time to promote them. But I dont want to give up my trials. of course, my salary is enough for my living.
my failure at times pushes me into spells of depression, especially when my wife is not with me.
what i learnt from my experience is, just one good site is enough to earn money, provided you put in the time it requires. you can definitely make big money and it makes a big difference to your life too.
@kitchenwitchoftupper (2290)
• United States
31 Dec 07
Would it make you feel better if I said that God/Goddess never closes a door without opening a window? Of course not! Not unless you are going to believe that the window is on the 13th floor and you are expected to jump from it! Since you have the same warped and sarcastic sense of humor that I have, I know that's how you will take those words; as that's how they were meant.
Did I ever have a dream that failed to materialize? Yeppers, I certainly did! When I was 29 years old and a single mother to 4 children living with me, I knew that I needed a job that I could take care of them as well as a man could support his family. I was tired of working as a waitress 5 days a week, cleaning a beauty shop 2 nights a week, little old lady sitting 3 nights a week, never seeing my children, having them run wild, and still having to depend on government assistance to help with feeding and housing because I didn't get one cent of child support. I finally landed the job of my dreams. I became one of West Virginia's first women underground coal miners. I brought home enough money to support my children at last. I only had to work one job. I had time to spend with my children. I was able to sit down and write the most important letter in my life; it was to what was called the Welfare Department at that time. I wrote to them and thanked them for all of the help they had given me over the years now and again as I had needed their programs. I told them how much I had appreciated them for all their help; and that I was returning the food stamps that were sent because I no longer needed them. I was so proud of myself.
Yes, Shannon, I had finally made the goal of providing for my family as well as a father could provide for his family. This was 30 years ago. I was only able to take it for 1 1/2 years. During that period of time I was not only raped, but gang raped 4 times by my union "brothers". One of the times I was sent out of the mine wearing nothing by my hard hat, my belt with the battery pack to light the lantern on my hat, and my boots. After 3 of these incidents I returned to work the next day. I failed to go back after the 4th. I felt that I had let myself, my children, and even the women's movement down. Fortunately, by that time, I was married and my $$$$ wasn't really as necessary as it had been when I first entered the mine.
As for your story, you are young Shannon. You are so talented. You are going to MAKE IT! You HAVE made it! Just read your discussion over again and look at all you have accomplished. You are amazing. Step away from it for just a bit. Breathe. Talk to some others in the same field as you. Don't give away a piece of you for anything or anyone; unless of course, you deem that it is no longer a piece of you. You liken the one project to your baby. You are also a mother. You know that you must nurture your son and make his passage to growth easier for him. You know that he must grow and start a life of his own. As to your "baby", perhaps that may be the same thing. Maybe not. I cannot feel the depth of your feelings. Only you know the answers to the questions you are asking, Shannon. No one can give you the answers you seek. You are going to have to look deep within and do what is best for you. I wish you peace~Donna
2 people like this
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
31 Dec 07
OMG! I can't imagine having to live through that kind of abuse. I can't imagine stifling my temper enough to let them live so I could be out of prison to raise those kids.
Jesus, you must have wanted that dream pretty bad to suffer like that. You carry a strength that I can't begin to imagine. You let no one down. If anything, the union, the law, and the women's movement let you down. How you didn't go back in there with a rifle, I'll never know. How basturds like that sleep at night, I'll never know.
I might be young and have a good mind, but you, Donna, are probably the strongest woman I know. Enormous hugs to you, chicka. (and NO, I'm not calling you "fat" lol)
1 person likes this
@Kowgirl (3489)
• United States
24 Dec 07
You don't have to give them up...get a partner. Take someone you trust and offer them 50% of the profits made by the sites if they will keep them up to date and working. That way you will still make money from them as well as helping someone else make money. Keep the one you like the best and partner out the rest. You could do that with all or with each one individually. Best of luck.
Have a safe and Happy Holiday.
2 people like this
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I've not considered getting a partner, but thanks for bringing it up so I can. I've decided to make some changes first and see what happens tho. For sure tho, I do need to lose a couple of them anyway, but which ones? lol
Thanks for stopping by and showing me another option, Kowgirl. I appreciate it.
Happy New Year!
1 person likes this
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
21 Dec 07
Okay,well i dont have a story BUT, i think that you should go ahead and sell get your education do what u need to do and then you can decide if u want to go and restart your buisness again....mabey u could have somoene in the house help you keep your online thing up..... all this sounds like my mothers "home" buisness,lol
2 people like this
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
21 Dec 07
Part of me knows I should, but the other part of me knows I can make it work if I unload the others. I think I'm going to focus on trying to make it all work one more time before preparing to sell.
If I truly don't want to see VI go under, I need to keep it. I was talking to another webmaster earlier and he was saying the reason he stays in my programs is because of me, my business principles, and the way I run things. He also said that I might be doing more harm than good by trying to give it up for adoption to someone who has more time to tend to it.
I don't know how this is all going to play out, but I do thank you for your input and support.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
31 Dec 07
Look I myself think at sometime, may be so soon i have to leave along my dream career. There are so much pressure from my family in some way. At your position I must say, we have to look at the well being of our family and ourself . But sometimes i think one should be a little selfish to look at oneself's wishes and dream. Take help from others and never try to do all sacrifices yourself.
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
31 Dec 07
You're right.
And I don't make it sound like I do all the sacrificing, because I don't...I'm just really vocal about the sacrificing on my end of things. I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that some of the sites have to go, but not VI. I'm keeping that one and making it into something great. Thank you for taking time to come in and share and offer advice.
