Out with the old in with the new....
By kimberlylynn
@kimberlylynn (978)
United States
December 22, 2007 9:38pm CST
After a divorce or breakup with a long time boy or girlfriend, do you find that you want to purge everything that they bought you or you bought together? It's been 7 years now but I still am working on replacing everything from my old relationship. It's kind of hard with some of the furniture but things remind me of people and I just don't want them around - bad ju ju maybe? I know it's not practical but even if it's something I like, I feel guilty having it such as jewelry. I guess it is part of starting fresh and not wanting those reminders. Of course it works both ways, I want all of his ex's stuff out too. It is my quest, to rid our home of any material things from our ex's. Does anyone else do this?
2 people like this
3 responses
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
23 Dec 07
I'm not like that. I still have the gifts that my ex gave me. In fact I still use them from time to time. And I don't think I would demand that my current love get rid of stuff from her ex. I don't know why I'm like this. Maybe it's because I give more importance to the future rather than focusing on the past.
@AD11RGUY (1265)
• United States
23 Dec 07
I only discard items that remind me of the lie that she turned out to be, exception being some letters or cards that were from a really good time or point in the relationship. Furniture, appliances, art works, etc., I just consider mine. They are only things that fill a need or space and they don't have "her" attached to them in my mind. Pictures I put away in someplace I don't bother with. It's hard for me to throw them out because despite the negative end result, she once was a very real part of my life and thus throwing out the pictures seems like throwing out part of my life. But oddly enough, only when a new friend gets to asking about my past do I ever bring them back out. I guess it's a matter of record keeping somehow for me.
1 person likes this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
27 Dec 07
There are things that I have kept from my marriage like the rings and almost all the funiture I let him have the cloths that were his and his car and that's about it, Because most of everything that we had in marriage was what I came into the marriage with. So since they were mine to begin with I kept them. As for the rings they are a reminder for me to chose wiser next time. I kept some pictures also I think his kids would want them to see the pics when they are older. He walked out because he didn't want the responsibility of having a family when his daughter was a yr and 3 months old and his son was three months old. He has made no attempt to see them since then and they are now 8 and 7 soon to be 9 and 8 .. they don't even know who he is. So I kept things for reasons and left the other things for him for reasons so i guess you have to judge for yourself whether or not you want any reminders and if so then keep something if not then purge yourself of him only you can make that decision
@kimberlylynn (978)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I guess it's just my own feelings - I wasted too many years of my life with the wrong person but I guess it was what I had to go to in order to get where I am now. I really wanted kids younger and that I feel was taken away from me. It was all just a reminder of that and I feel so much better not having to look at it. That is nice of you to keep things for your kids when they get older. I am so sorry he left you with young kids and maybe that is why I didn't have any with the person I was with - he probably couldn't have handled them and would have done the same.
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
28 Dec 07
You are never to old to have kids. I'm actually very happy that he is out of our lives. though it was hard I would go through it all agian. You never know how strong you are until you are pushed to be strong. I wish you nothing but the best. You never know maybe you'll find someone better for you and have kids, wether they be adopted or you give birth to them. Never give up what you want in life. Sometimes you just have to fight for it. Take care.
