What is your opinion on this situation?
By patgalca
@patgalca (18214)
Orangeville, Ontario
December 27, 2007 1:02pm CST
Of course you will need a little background in order to understand why this may have occurred. My nephew is 30 years old. He was with a girl for 7 years and apparently cheated on her with his current girl. The current girl (he has now been with for more than two years) is not liked much by my sister. The family lives a couple of doors down from my sister so she is well aware of this girl's "reputation" and doesn't care for her parents either. My nephew has always been a very quiet person, since the time he was a small child.
In November my nephew and his girl bought a house together. At that time he proposed to her. At Christmas several people noticed a large solitaire diamond on his fiancee's finger. Apparently she was a little put off by the fact that no one made any to-do about it. No one even mentioned it actually. Not everyone noticed but those who did were afraid to ask about it. We believe they should have made an announcement. In fact, they have not even made any official announcement to my sister and her husband. My sister noticed the ring and from what I heard she doesn't know why she is wearing it because nothing has been said to her, which, given her dislike for the girl and her family, is understandable.
Does this couple have the right to feel hurt that no one gushed over their engagement when they never even made an official announcement? What do you think?
7 people like this
8 responses
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
27 Dec 07
In my opinion, since they didn't make any official announcement about their engagement, they shouldn't be offended by the circumstance that no one made mention of the ring. If they want acknowledgement of it, then they should make it official.
4 people like this
@patgalca (18214)
• Orangeville, Ontario
28 Dec 07
When my husband proposed to me it was at Christmas. He had to work so could not come to my parents' for Christmas but as soon as my father opened the door to me I held my hand up and showed him my ring. I wasn't going to keep that a secret. Why would anyone keep it a secret?
2 people like this
@twysted (54)
• United States
27 Dec 07
umm this can be a touchy subject, i know when i first got engaged to my wife my family was not very happy about it at all.
so all i can really say is if they want the attention then they should make an official announement. But i don't think they should have to because of some feelings a family member has about the situation.
but based off how you say the sister feels i would say she might be the case of alot of drama for their marraige
4 people like this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
28 Dec 07
I don't think they have any right what so ever. If they expect people to know then they need to actually announce it geesh some people. For all anyone knew that ring could have been a gift from the family.
I think maybe your sister should try to accept her a little tho. If her son is going to marry this woman then she needs to at least try.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18214)
• Orangeville, Ontario
28 Dec 07
My mother said she noticed the ring but didn't say anything because for all she knew it could have been her grandmother's or something (though it was hardly old looking).
My sister has come a long way with this girl. For awhile my nephew never attended any family events. Then when he and his girlfriend started coming around again my sister acted like she was best friends with this girl. It wasn't until recently that I learned she still had bad feelings towards her but she certainly was making an effort.
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
28 Dec 07
Oh yea I was just giving advice on the info I had. I'm glad she's trying for her son's sake. It's the only way to keep him in her life.
Hugs
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
28 Dec 07
If they want family to acknowledge their engagement they need to announce it. I know I did as soon as my husband proposed to me - we told everyone LOL and its not because I wanted them to see my ring, I wanted to share with everyone how happy I was and that I was going to get married haha!
2 people like this
@nmhschic2004 (1238)
• United States
27 Dec 07
I dont think they have a reason at all to feel hurt. They should have made an announcement. Getting engaged is usually such a happy time. Most people cant wait to let everyone know. They should have said something about it if they wanted people to know. Maybe then someone would have made a "big deal" about the ring.
1 person likes this
@roberten (3128)
• United States
27 Dec 07
They need to be aware that no one is actually a mind reader and therefore cannot know for sure that there is an engagement unless they tell somebody. Being upset and a little miffed is unreasonable and childish; it is also their problem. Do not take on responsibility for someone else, we all have enough of our own. If they want to pout and me upset then let them; maybe they'll elope and you won't have to give them a wedding present (lol). Anywho, smile and be nice to them; after all, they are family.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
28 Dec 07
If the girl wants to be noticed she should have the engagement put in the local paper. I never say anything to people regarding engagements, pregnancy, etc, even if it is obvious. My preference is to let them tell me if they so choose to do so.
@patgalca (18214)
• Orangeville, Ontario
28 Dec 07
You make a point about the pregnancies. No one wants to ask someone who may NOT be pregnant whether they are. It has happened to me and it didn't make me feel good. The point - NEVER ASSUME. These "kids" are expecting us to make assumptions when they should tell us straight up.
@BarBaraPrz (45882)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
27 Dec 07
I think that if they wanted gushing they should have announced it officially. By not saying anything, it was as if they were hiding it.
@patgalca (18214)
• Orangeville, Ontario
28 Dec 07
Hiding it and not. When I was talking to her she did the "rub your nose with the left hand" routine where you are trying to show people your ring without actually showing it, you know what I mean? I mentioned that to my mother and she admitted that when she got engaged (over 61 years ago) she was constantly rubbing the back of her head with her left hand trying to show off her ring! LOL!
1 person likes this
