Why in the United States cheating is not a crime?

December 31, 2007 6:52am CST
Why in the United States when a woman cheats on her husband, she still is the winner? She gains custody of the children, child support and she still has time to date as many lovers as she wishes, if in other countries(Like Brazil, Argentina, Chile,etc)those who cheat first lose all their rights? They lose house, pensions, children, everything. I personally think that is the right thing to do,because there are those cheaters out there who spend their lives cheating on the partners, but if they learn the lessons at first time, they will never do it again. www.liquidagora.com/forums/index.php www.globrazil.com/forums/index.php
1 person likes this
13 responses
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
31 Dec 07
Why is it not a crime? Because the government can't afford it as a real crime first of all. Having the current setup you described is actually lucrative for the local/county governments, for the cheater/divorcer(most times) and for any lawyers involved. Also on the social side, that would be assigning responsibilities and faults to a party (in this case women). This is impermissable in current stateside thinking. And if it was a crime, it would only resemble the current cheating blamegame that goes on in the states when it comes to relationships and marriage. If he cheats, he's a scumbag and its all his fault. Add the crime to that and he'd be losing a lot. Now watch out for this one...what if she cheats? If she cheats, its not her fault, its his fault (for being insensitive, poor lover, terrible in the sack, too poor, etc). What happens in that case? Punish the guy there too? Sounds like it might be a lopsided law one to add to other ones both federal and state code. A bit of sarcasm but a lot of truth in that at least in my view. Thinking about it further cheating is a crime if you are a guy. You never hear the end of it. In fact even the idea or assumption that he COULD be cheating(not even confirmed) allows for some of the same sour treatment I highlighted earlier (some even use assumed cheating to excuse more serious crimes of wives hurting, assaulting or killing their husbands). Liquid, your description of a person losing their house, pensions and children already sounds like divorce in stateside (and thats typical divorce, no cheating has to occur). One can even file a false abuse charge and the laws are written so the guy gets reamed, and the woman is setup with enough tools for a more favorable divorce. Or one can do it the "traditional" divorce method and acquire the 50%-80%(depends on circumstances) of everything that way
2 people like this
@uath13 (8204)
• United States
31 Dec 07
For some reason our court systems seem to favor the woman when it comes to divorses. They put on a whole sob story & the judge feels sorry for them. I think it would be far simplier to just say that each party just gets half & the kids go to whoever can be the better provider/parent. Of course so long as laywers are making a fortune from these cases that'll never happen.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
31 Dec 07
The simple reason to me the USA is completely out of balance and is that in so many matters. Above is just another proof. The part that I don't understand is why American men are not any smarter, because there are a number of ways out of these messes if you connect your brains. Is this by the way the reason why more and more American men turn to male partners and eventually end up initiating homosexual relationships? Maybe it is just easier not to get caught for marriage at all. I am not.......and will NEVER EVER make the mistake again. But then.....I am not an American and am under South American rules. My ex could get a job again and take are of herself. Guess many American women don't have enough self esteem to take care of themselves anymore, sounds more like abuse of men to me.
@medooley (1874)
• United States
31 Dec 07
How in the world do you even take this an attempt to turn it into a reason why American men engage in homosexual relationships? And why do you believe that the problem of cheating is only with American men? I am sure that there are plenty of Mexican men and women who are unfaithful to their spouses. I love the stereotypes that are being thrown around here... Just thing if I was doing that towards any other nationality, it would probably just be my ignorance as an American right...
• United States
31 Dec 07
Ok. Run with this == how many MEN cheat on their wives and leave them without a penny to their name. The woman has upwards of 4 or so kids and no job. She's depended on him for the entire length of their marraige and he just up and leaves her with a mortgage, bills and food needs for the kids. Why is that not a crime? Why do women need to be punished? Why not go after the men as well?
• United States
10 Jan 08
I don't think you can say this for all women who cheat. You don't know everyone's situation. You don't know what is going on in their relationships with their husbands. The husband may have cheated first. There are many different situations we could discuss, but I think that the kids are usually better off with the mother.
@eyewitness (1577)
• Netherlands
1 Jan 08
I agree with you.The one who cheats first should lose all their rights. Just like the fact that every mother will get full custody after divorce even though she;s a bad mom and the father is much better for the child.They always choose the mother first.They should look at the situation.
@kimiyu (47)
• China
1 Jan 08
Why in the united states when a woman cheats on her husband,you know,It sounds like if a man cheats on his wife will be punished in rhe United States.sometimes ,cheating is necessary to avoid trouble.
• Canada
1 Jan 08
i dont know but you should also ask why is the man still a winner after he cheats but yes i agree with you , cheating is WRONG and it used to be against the law here in canada and in the states, it changed here in canada thanks to our lovely prime minister pierre trudeau who was an adulterer, which is why he made it no longer a crime to cheat on your spouse! its the way the world is.
• United States
1 Jan 08
I agree to a certain extent but it should be the same for guys cuz a lot of guys cheat and they get what ever they want. that would be a good idea maybe they would learn a lesson cuz so many people do it over and over again. I believe once a cheater always a cheater it may not always be true but thats what i think and if they got punished for it maybe they would realy change for good
@medooley (1874)
• United States
31 Dec 07
I guess it really isn't the first person who cheats in those countries necessarily, it is the first person that gets caught. And who investigates these "crimes"? Is it the police? Or is it just the other spouse that says that the other person was cheating on them? And what kind of proof is needed in order to prove that someone is cheating on another... actually pictures or video of the act? I mean come on, this sounds great and all but how is it going to be enforced?
@amirev777 (4124)
• India
31 Dec 07
Hi! even i agree with u-those who cheat first shud lose all the rights-i knw the laws are biased against men-not just there but also here in india the laws are totally against men.i think its time we men shud b up in arms against these biased laws.
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
31 Dec 07
I don't know why this isn't considered a crime, but it should be. I think an explanation for women having custody of the children is because generally that's the way it usually goes. By default, women are the ones who actually birth the children, so I guess the courts assume the children will be kept by the mother. I believe male children should have a father raise them and female children should have a mother raise them because of their gender, but it also depends on the court cases themselves as well as the ages of the children. I don't understand why America doesn't view this like the other countries you mentioned. Cheating on spouses is almost smiled upon here, and I don't understand it! I suppose if I were to do anything like that, I would be happy that America would be happy about it and that I wouldn't be punished. That's human nature for you. I just don't understand it. Great discussion, though!
• United States
31 Dec 07
I think it should be a crime to cheat on your spouse.It feels like someone has committed a crime against you when it happens to you so it should be a crime.The one that cheats should lose everything.I totally agree.We need a change in the laws.I also think that cheaters should go around with the word cheater tatooed in their foreheads so they can feel the disgrace they have caused others.