expecting my fourth child

January 1, 2008 8:31am CST
Why do people seem to think that i am less excited about the fact that we are expecting our 4th child? Or could it be that people think that as it is the 4th one that he/she will be less anticipated? How it annoys me when people ask how many children do i have,when given the reply,they either say i am mad or their own interest seems to fade. After suffering a miscarriage recently this baby is wanted and special just as much as my 1st,2nd and 3rd! Am i ranting for nothing or could it be my overreactive hormones?
7 people like this
12 responses
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Jan 08
I think you have a perfectly valid reason to rant. To be honest, I think most people have problems understanding any family size other than their own. People with smaller families think people with big families are insane, people with big families think people with small families are lonely, etc. We have a hard time putting ourselves in other's shoes on this issue it seems. I only have one child, and to be completely honest I can't imagine having four. However, unlike some people I at least attempt to understand. I can't imagine how you could not be just as excited over your 4th child... that would be like saying you didn't love all your kids just because they weren't the first! And unless they are abusing or neglecting their kids, I don't poke my nose into how many anyone chooses to have, because frankly it's not my business! I have the opposite problem on this one... people question my decision to only have one child all the time. Usually without bothering to find out all the facts, like that my health is very poor, and I probably wouldn't live through having another child, nor live to raise another one.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (21166)
• Philippines
1 Jan 08
Oh you just have to accept the fact that having children is a blessing. I congratulate you for being able to carry your 4th child. I know you are quite excited about it. Regarding the comments of othe people you just have to understand them since having that many children is quite hard these days. I have a sister that has six children and she really has to work hard for her siblings. We really love all her children but its just hard to manage them.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Jan 08
That's why I stopped announcing my pregnancy to people when I was having my 4th. I got the most horrible comments and looks from complete strangers. I didn't even tell my dad I was pregnant because he would have said something and I would have been mad. He found out the day after she was born because he just happened to call me to see how I was doing. I had to tell him I was in the hospital and he had a new grand daughter. He was pretty shocked. He adores her now, though. I have just learned that people are just rude and pretty ignorant sometimes, even family. I was super excited when I was pregnant with my 4th because we actually had our own place and were making ends meet and she was planned (to a point). I couldn't wait for her to get here. (she's 21 months old now). I never felt that with #2 and #3 because the people around made me feel like I should be guilty or something because they were so close together (#2 is 15 months younger then #1 and #3 is 13 months younger then #2).
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 08
I think if I could have, I might have kept my fourth pregnancy a secret...but it was totally impossible, especially considering I was having twins! LOL My fourth month was when I started showing, and by the time the month was over, I looked like I was eight months along! LOL But, I had my first three close together (less than 2 years apart) and got the same reactions from people. There is a gap before the fourth pregnancy, plus a divorce and remarriage, so that made a big difference for me. Good for you for having a place of your own, wish I did. Just enjoy and love your family, and let people think what they want to!
@Sissygrl (10914)
• Canada
1 Jan 08
baby - babies
I think that you have a right to be mad about this. I have a somewhat similar rant to rave about so i sort of know where your coming from. I am pregnant with my second child, but my first is only17months old, and i am almost 7 months pregnant. When i tell people their first reaction is ALWAY, AGAIN?! what do you mean again? this isn't china we're allowed to have more then one child! lol. What are peoplet hinking being so rude to a preggo lady? I dont understand what they are thinking.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 08
Sissygrl, my first three are 20 months apart, and I got the same reactions from everyone, including my own mother. I don't think people mean to be rude, as a general rule, just everyone has a tendency to speak before they think how it sounds. Plus, being pregnant, I was always more sensitive to what people said to me. I may not have done it in front of anyone, but there are times I cried after I got home. LOL Man, I'm so glad I'm finished having babies and my kids are soon going to be grown and having my grandchildren....how I look forward to that!!! LOL
• United States
2 Jan 08
You are right, your 4th child is a precious gift from God and every bit as special as the first three. I once had a baby shower for a friend expecting her third child because everyone else decided that they would just get a baby gift when the baby was born and forgo the shower. I hadn't know her very long but I felt compelled to have a shower for her. Many people attended the shower including her two young daughters. It was a great way for them to really get accustomed to the idea that the new baby was coming. I celebrate with you. God has a special purpose for your child. I don't know what's wrong with people sometimes.
@mistissa (1348)
• Netherlands
1 Jan 08
I know exactly what you mean, I don't have 4 kids but 3. And everyone always responded like they felt sorry for me when I was pregnant. We chose to have this child and it is as much welcome as the others were. When they asked me if I was crazy I just replied, We are going to make our own footballteam. Keep your head high and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, it is a miracle to have such a precious little present grow inside of you. No matter if it is your 4th,5th or even 6th child. Congratulations with your little miracle
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 08
CONGRATULATIONS!! That said, I have five children, and my fourth pregnancy was twins!! And I got the same annoying comments and looks as you did, and I got just as aggravated with them. But, I decided I didn't care what other people thought, and I was absolutely amazed with the twins when they were born and loved them just as much as my first, second, and third. By the way, they are aged 19, 18, 16, 11, and 11. So it's been a while since I had to go through that. You survive. I promise. LOL Just love each of your children, and don't worry about what other people think. If necessary, get rude right back. I got the "dumb" twin questions all the time..."How in the world do you tell them apart?" to which I answered,"I LOOK at them!" LOL Hugs, and again, congratulations!
@pkristie7 (606)
• United States
1 Jan 08
I understand what you mean exactly. I have 3 children and my family is always saying things like "So how many more?" I know they are being sarcastic. I also noticed that I didnt get very many gifts for my 3rd child. Almost all of my co-workers bought something for my son, but only 2 got something for my new daughter. It shouldn't bother me but it does. I feel like people think shes not as important. Well anyway I'M happy for you!!!!
1 person likes this
@bethyboo (399)
• United States
1 Jan 08
First off, I want to say Congrats!! Having a child is a blessing. It doesn't matter if it is the first or tenth child. I admire that you are able to have a big family and I hope that I will be able to. I just had my firstborn a couple months ago and I plan on having at least four. I know that I will be just as excited with my fourth as I was with my first. It is not your overactive hormones. I would feel the same way. When a woman is pregnant, everyone seems to know everything and is willing to give that advice even if you don't want to hear it. As long are you are excited, that is all that matters.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (29129)
• United Kingdom
1 Jan 08
Congratulations I am so pleased for you. I hope that you had a great pregnancy and a quick and easy birth. I think having a fourth baby is fine. You sound like a caring mum and the baby will be lucky to be born into such a lovely family. I only have two children with a huge age gap between them. One is 12 years old and the other is 7 months old. My sister has four children, a boy aged 10, a boy aged 7, a girl aged 5 and a girl aged 18 months. People say she is lucky to have both two boys and two girls. The two boys get on well together and as the youngest girl gets older she is learning to play nicely with her sister. Pregnancy is a time of hormones playing up but other people should be pleased for you. I can see you are delighted about your pregnancy and the dear little baby that you are expecting. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@bear_cute (124)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 08
Hi friend,actually u not excited to expect 4th child.that good matter.as we know child is livelihood in life.so,don't think what other people said.many types people in the world.i think if you able to carry your 4th child its not wrong.an important you desire to get 4th child.
@biggerb (2028)
• India
2 Jan 08
Hi! Cogratulations.Hope you enjoy your pregnancy and have a safe and easy delivery.Enjoy every moment.You do seem pretty excited.you have your own reasons to opt to have a fourth which no one else can question.having a small family and a big family are one's personal decisions.If you can provide for them and give them all the support they need that's it.Wish you all the very best.Take care.