Am I the only one who is fed up with friendships?

@dloveli (4368)
United States
January 1, 2008 6:45pm CST
I am seriously fed up with trying to maintain a friendship. When I first met my friend missy I thought to myself that I had finally found a true friend. Someone I could talk to, share stories and problems with, and just enjoy being with. I did always think in the back of my mind that it was too good to be true. I somehow knew that there had to be a catch. No person can be this generous with her time, advice, money and love. As the months went by, we became closer and closer. I could depend on Missy for everything. She had my back no matter what. After about 6 months, things began to make me feel as if they werent as they seem. Missy would make plans and then blow me off saying she never remembered us making plans. If I wanted something she would buy it as if she needed it . It was like she was showing me what I should have. She began to tell small fibs. I knew in my heart that the little voice in the back of my head was trying to tell me something. Its to the point now that she treats me like I should be honored to be her friend. Not! She has this God complex that came out of nowhere. In the last 4 months I hvae told her at least 4 times that if the problems persist , we can no longer be friends. I have always done crafts such as beading, weaving beads, jewelry making and collecting stickers. To my knowledge this woman did none of these for the last year and half. Now all of a sudden she's into jewelry, stickers,and I am ready to blow!..I have always dreamed of selling my stuff and maybe opening a small specialty store. Guess what Missy now wants to make jewelry. I feel like she's stealing my dreams. Am I wrong. She has every bead or charm that I have. WHen I am at the craft store, She literally rushes down the aisles and takes all the beads off the shelf so I cant get any. My fiance is going out of his mind. He is ready to burst. He says that if he gets the chance he wants her to know how greedy, spiteful, and selfish she really is. He explains her as a person that has money, but wants everyone elses as well. You know what? He is 100% correct. If I like something, she likes it. If I eat crap, she'd eat crap. Enough is Enough. Because of her need to compete for everything, I dont allow myself to get caught up in someone elses life unless its to help. I am fed up! I am at my witts end. What would you do? Is it over? yes or no?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@mensab (4204)
• Philippines
2 Jan 08
i think you are fed up with the person and not with the friendship itself. i hope you make a distinction between the two. a person like that is really annoying and spiteful. however, you cannot just turn off the friendship that you have built with her. you cannot smply dismiss the years that you and she spent time with. whether you like it or not, she would be part of your life story.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
2 Jan 08
good point. I dont understand where it went wrong. How competetive the whole thing has become. Its childish. If I want to be childish, I have two daughters who would oblige.
• United States
2 Jan 08
First off, hello and Happy New Year! That girl has some serious issues. Take it from someone who learned the real meaning of friendship and having friends from a very young age. A real friend is never jealous, would never lie to you, and would never do anything to you that will hurt your feelings or the relationship you have with each other. A real friend will encourage you when you need encouragement; cry with you when you are sad; and say "no" to you when you are wrong. Missy obviously has a possession problem that she needs to get help for or else it's going to cause some serious harm later on in her life. If she continues being how she is, she will never be able to keep friends or in fact be happy. Do you see her as a happy person? Honestly, do you think she is happy? One thing you have to consider is that a lot of times people like Missy are the way they are because they need the attention or they just have some serious personal issues. I am not saying that you should avoid her all together, but talk to her again and see what comes up. Maybe, just maybe, she will reveal some things to you that she never did before. For the whole stealing your dreams thing, no one could ever steal your dreams. Do what it is you always wanted to do. Every dream is unique, no matter how similar they may be. Therefore, go ahead girl...do you!! Do you want to know why all of a sudden she is into the things you enjoy? Because she envies you. She hates the fact that you are so creative and have so much potential that she wants it for herself. Personally, I wouldn't associate myself with people like her. That is the main reason I have but 1 very close and best friend (and that is my fiance). I am not a jealous person because I do not believe in jealousy, therefore I do not associate with people who are. She might be insecure about herself and find that being the best (or trying to be the best) by butting into other people's lives is the only way to conceal that reality. Talk to her. Let her know how you really feel and that this is the last time you are attempting to fix things and/or find out what is going on. Whatever the outcome, let her know that it's not worth trying to be someone else or be better than someone else. Tell her that she can only be as good as she puts her mind to. That means she has to find what is best for her not take what is best for others. She stopped being your friend a long time ago, but don't stop being an ear until you can bring a little bit of light to her eyes. Good luck. Take care and always be positive.
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
2 Jan 08
It is sad because I know that every word you wrote is the absolute truth. This friendship ended along time ago. I really thought that I had a friend for life. My history in the friend area has been terrible. I havent had a real friend in years. Its hard to gain trust for a person. Its worse to finally begin to trust someone only to findout they want your dreams, ideas, and ambitions. Thanks for being straight with me. I needed it.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jan 08
No problem, anytime. You are right, finding a true friend is hard. That's why you don't seek friendship. A good friend will show up when you least expect it, and you will know off the bat if you can trust that person. Be patient and listen to your heart as in every other decision and commitment in life. A little hint: sometimes the closest and most greatest friends, are the ones we hardly see and speak to but who are there whenever you need. Be blessed, be safe, and always positive.
• United States
2 Jan 08
The way that you are describing her makes her seem like a frenemie. I don't even know if I spelled it right. But she's basically doing everything you are doing and thinks she can do it better, and she sounds kind of weird too. But I don't know what I would do because i've never been in that relationship.
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Im telling you I feel like I am in a new psychological thriller.lol I think she enjoys showing me how good my dreams are. She basically took all my desires and fulfilled them. I think she did it out of spite. Get this the other day I noticed that Her middle initial is the same as my first initial. Yes, It is the same name. Spooky or what?
• United States
3 Jan 08
That is weird. Well hopefully in this year things will change (probably not), or you might meet a new friend or something. Happy New Years.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
2 Jan 08
Go ahead and eat crap so that she'll do it. Serves her right. Seriously, this is why I am very choosy when it comes to friends. It's really a waste of time having "friends" like this, not to mention the stress. So I say end this so-called friendship! When she has lost a good person like you, she'll realize how stupid she was.
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
6 Jan 08
I dont really know if I should have said Id eat crap.... Im soooo scared!
@baileym11 (889)
• United States
2 Jan 08
My best friend of more than three years, truly the person I thought I would be friends with till the day I day, dumped me flat when I told her that my husband and I were adopting a baby. It was a long, hard process and I wasn't willing to be the old easygoing me. I wanted her to commit to plans rather than just saying that she would show up if she could. I couldn't drop everything and come to her aid as before. We see each other everyday, and I have not been able to get her to talk about any of it. She says hi to me, but that is it. Yes, I've kind of had it with friendship.
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
6 Jan 08
Enjoy your baby! Forget her! People can be so selfish. Dont beg her. Act as if it doesnt bother you. Just say Hi and move on. Your baby is well worth it. Good Luck MOM!
• Philippines
3 Jan 08
From how you wrote it, it seems that you are really fed up and I understand where you are coming from. I think you should have a heat-to-heart talk with your friend and tell her how you feel, if there's something that both of you could look into to save the friendship. I think you also need space from her so that you could analyze what's happening more objectively. I hope it turns out well. Have a blessed 2008.
@SHAMRACK (8521)
• India
2 Jan 08
Hi, If this was in my case I would try to keep a bit distance to say what I do not like and would even request that if this goes it would be not nice. This is this and I would be concerned more on a better relationship rather making our relation a mess between each other. I would like be a good friend and if you too want to continue please do not do what I would not like and the same will be with my side too other wise please leave me alone and I will be highly thankfull to you this might be I would do. Still in practical case as you faced I hope it is your decision to take to keep your happiness and to upheld your peace of mind. I hope a better decision of this would help to attain peaceful mind for you. To get a good friend is another gift of God. Hope that will be attained soon. This relation I hope it is better not to continue as it may lead more worse or may be one of you may outburst creating more violence and that would become as enemies may be forever. I hope it is better to avoid or keep distance.