What are you reasons for being kind?

@RobinJ (2501)
Canada
January 4, 2008 2:37pm CST
I have read several posts that stated that they have tried to be kind to others only to have it backfire on them. When I feel compelled to do a kindness for others I stop and think why? is my motive to actually help a person help themselves or is it to make me feel better, sort of look at me I did a good deed. I have found that if I am helping a person help themselves, I do not need or want to be noticed, because it is not about me. but if it is about helping some one who very possibily doesn't want or need my help, then it is all about me. I will give an example. I was sitting on the bus, and a very elderly lady (92) got on the bus I immediatly stood up and offered her my seat, a young man slipped in to it instead,The elderly lady indicated that was ok she was only going a few blocks.So my good deed was wasted because I didn't wait and ask the lady if she wanted the seat. I didn't think about the consequences of my actions My question to you is do you think about your reason for being kind?
6 people like this
15 responses
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
4 Jan 08
Your intentions were in the right place. Sometimes, things go differently then we plan or expect. But, your heart is in the right mode. Eventually, your good deeds might end up presenting you with something very special. You never can tell exactly where doing good might lead you. For sure, a lot farther than being mean or selfish.
3 people like this
@Zelmarq (12585)
• Cebu City, Philippines
5 Jan 08
Thats great attitude, its with you now and theres nothing to exert so much effort about. It comes out naturally.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
4 Jan 08
OMG forget ever going out for coffee with me because I'd only embarrass you to tears. Given this same situation I would immediately have said, "Excuse me but I gave my seat up for this lady and if she doesn't want to sit I will." What he did was far more rude than telling him to get his a?? of my seat as I see it. Your're just a better person than me that's for sure. HOlly CRAP!
2 people like this
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
21 Jan 08
Firstly am absolutely disappointed that the whole intention of your kindness was hijacked by some very undeserving young man-Kindness must actually go to those who need it, that is when the real essence of the kindness can be appreciated and measured. If the 92 year old you tried to help did not need your help, then she probably did not see your gesture of kindness! So my reasons for kindness really is to address a felt and epressed need, nothing more or less!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 08
Kindness sadly is a dying quality, and is rewarded as seen to be weak by others, it's a quality that is so rare and I always say if you give out kindness, unconditionally it will return twofold, whatever you throw out you receive back like a boomerang, and yes I have to add the cliche, what goes around comes around it's true. I can't believe that young man slipped in instead, the cheek of him. It's like karma the more good karma you send out the more good karma you receive.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
4 Jan 08
Hi Wolfie good to hear from you yes you are right, and as for the young man there may come a day when his arrogance will come back to bite him in the butt, I did what I believed was right, and was shown that maybe it wasn't necessary, As I stated I now only offer assistance when it is indicated by the person who needs it, I know personally if I truly need help I have a great loud voice to call for assistance, as most people do
@cblackink (969)
• United States
26 Jan 08
When I am kind, it's just because it's the right thing to do. I'm not really concerned how other people perceive it.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 08
And I think it was somewhat inconsiderate of this young man to take the seat, seeing an elderly lady standing.
1 person likes this
@whittby (3072)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Years ago I would have been upset that my good deed was wasted. I would have been so upset at that young man and even more upset with myself for not speaking up and saying "EXCUSE ME!!! That seat was not for you!" Now, I would speak up. The elderly lady was just being kind in her own way, trying to make you feel better. Sometimes when a kindness is overlooked, not appreciated, or whatever, I feel bad. But I know I would have done it anyway. It's the way I am. What you are calling kindness, I call treating others with respect. More like empathy than sympathy.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
29 Jan 08
Thank you well thought out and well said, I have to agree with you Respect is just the word, and always empathy and seldom sympathy. great contribution to my discussion I truly appreciate it
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
5 Jan 08
I never really think when I am being kind. The reason I do this is because that was the way I was raised by my mother, be kind to all things. Now I also think I do this as thats also the way I like to be treated as well. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1454)
• United States
5 Jan 08
I would rather be kind than be nasty. It is not worth being rude. I know when it happens to me, I do not like being treated that way. I treat others the way I would like to be treated with common courtesy and respect. It is the best way to go. When people are rude, I tend to look the other way and go on with my business. It is not worth getting upset over in the long run anyway.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 08
Thanks for sharing that. Personally, I do not think about nor have I ever thought about being kind. It is in my nature to be. You can say it's a bad habit, because I often do it without knowing. And I never even thought about having my kindness go to waste because even if it didn't go towards who it was intended to, my actions were noticed by someone else more powerful than you and I. It's not about how kind you are, how often you are kind, or simply whether it's about me or the other people involved, it's about just being kind. Before reading your post, I absolutely never had any thoughts about my motives or thinking about my random acts of kindness before completing them. To answer your question, my reasons for being kind are simply that...to be kind. P.S. I am sure your kindness didn't go unnoticed or wasted in that bus, you indicated that the lady said that she was ok and was only going a few blocks right? So you see...she knew what your intentions were and that guy should be ashame of himself for being so inconsiderate. Great topic. Be blessed and always positive!
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
5 Jan 08
I do good deeds for others because according to my faith it is God's will that I love my fellowmen. I think the most important purpose of my life is to love and serve others. If I do that I can die peacefully and proudly.
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
5 Jan 08
I think when you are kind to others, then you will be respected and others will be kind to you, too. And you will be happy to it.
1 person likes this
@g1j3cut (77)
• Philippines
11 Jan 08
no , i am just plain kind
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
5 Jan 08
I love being kind to others no matter what the reason is for it makes a person's day when one helps another in need. It's what God wants us to do so in that sense, I'm following His orders willingly. Besides, some day I may be in need of assistance and I hope someone would be so kind to lend me some. I'm a firm believer of what goes around comes around and treating others as I would want to be treated.
1 person likes this
@piatos03 (393)
• Philippines
5 Jan 08
I like your questions. It is making me looking back. Now I'm wondering why I actually do nice things. I can honestly say that most of the time I have an ulterior motive. Like when it comes to my parents. When I want something, I become nice and help them carry the groceries and do my chores. But I never do that when I don't need anything. To random people, for me it's more of a reflex thing. I see someone drop a pen, I pick it up, just cos I can. Maybe that's why I'm kind. Just because I can. All the values my parents thought me as a child are probably just rubbing off on me. I become compelled to be kind and do good things. Maybe that's it.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Feb 08
I really don't think that your good was wasted. i think that the young fellow who took the seat was not raised properly. Kindness in my mind is doing good things for others without thinking about it. That is how I was raised as it sounds like you were. I believe that is more people held that door open for someone or helped an older person across the street or just smiled at that child in the store the world would be a better place. We ahould all go about our day treating others as we would like to be treated without thought. The best way to live our lives is to be especially thoughtful of the young, elderly, and those not so fortunate as ourselves in life. It is also very important to instill these qualities in our children. To put it in one sentence, being kind comes without thought, it comes from a good soul and kind heart.