i fear singleness for life...

Philippines
January 6, 2008 5:56am CST
I fear that I will be alone forever...that nobody would want to marry me. My love tells me that it’s up to me to prove myself worthy. But deep in my heart, I know I am not perfect. I don’t think I can ever live up to his standards. Maybe for awhile, but there will come a time when there will be lapses, and then he would tell me again that he’s not sure. I would be depressed again. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to content myself with the thought of being alone. I don’t want to rely on any man anymore. I want to live life as a single person, without thinking or considering other people other than myself and family. He wouldn’t want me. No matter how hard I try, he always says there’s no improvement because my character is the same. I am depressed now, but when I am not, I feel good and I feel that I can live up to what he’s asking. He said that it is up to me, if I’ll be good, he’ll marry me. What if next month, something happens again? I dunno. We’re just lying to each other into thinking that there could be something nice that can happen in this relationship. My previous thinking remains—he loves me, but not enough to marry me.
4 people like this
7 responses
• United States
7 Jan 08
If he really loved you, he would think that you are perfect no matter what. There are things that my husband does sometimes that gets to me but, I always remind myself that he is not me and therefore will never be able to do everything the exact same way I would do it. I love him no matter what. I think he is perfect in every way. If this guy is putting that much pressure on you to be HIS way, why are you still with him. Be yourself and you will find someone who loves you for who you are.
1 person likes this
@AD11RGUY (1266)
• United States
11 Jan 08
AMEN! My thoughts exactly! She's wasting her time with him or any other that has continuous demands for her to be other than herself!
• Pakistan
11 Jan 08
1. dont bank on him. there is no use relying upon anyone else. 2. y do u think u r not perfect. nobody is. so does it really matter. 3. my example. i used to be so shy, i used to stammer, i used to feel bad about myself, but i encoutered a book that narrated a few incidents. the book is zero point and is in urdu. a few topics changed me. ive won all the extempore debating competitions last year a step below the national level. i m asked for opinion now. its now kinda fun for me to interact with people. 4. carry on with your life ahead without all fears. life is too short to worry.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6252)
• Malaysia
11 Jan 08
Hello spoiled311, I am one of those women who get married at a later stage of life. I have my career, my everything before I decided to get married. It is not that I am such a choosy person but the truth is, I couldn't find the right person at the right time. When I almost decided that I wanted to remain single, God showed me the way, where my Mr. Right was waiting for me. I stopped looking for one, and decided that being single is the best choice for me and out of no where, I found my man. I am happily married now, with a kid and I think that I am blessed. You don't have to worry about this. The more you think, the more headache you will feel. Just be yourself. When the time comes, you will get what you want. And for your boyfriend, I am not too sure whether he is the right person for you or not. You know him better but think wisely before you decided to end up your singleton status *smiles*
1 person likes this
@carpenter5 (6786)
• United States
10 Jan 08
oh friend! My heart breaks for you. I hope that you will just continue to put your faith and trust in our holy father that He has someone for you and will reveal that to you in HIS time.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jan 08
I strongly believe that no one should live up to anyone's standards. If someone loves you, he should accept even the tiniest flaw in your character. Don't be sad if he doesn't marry you, he doesn't love you enough to love your attitude glitches. Its a big world out there and he is not the only man in this planet.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Jan 08
no person in this world is perfect & we all try 2 b perfect but we compare with other things .we almost try 2 b .in this process we face many problems & by overcoming them we try 2 b perfectionist then others .we in our life some time feel lonely /live lonely some time .which may b good for understanding ourselves our strength/weakness
@youless (99354)
• Guangzhou, China
10 Jan 08
Please don't feel so worried about it so much. Let it be. Sooner or later you will meet your another part, it just needs some time. Marriage is a serious issue and this is why men will be afraid of it. As they have their own worried. I have heard that a girl feels worried before she gets married. A man will be worried after he is married. So give him so time and he can make up his decision. You know it needs bravery:)