can you control your kids?

@raidun (22)
China
January 10, 2008 4:43am CST
Today it becomes a serious social problem that children and young people addictive to internet. Their study are severely affected by that. Some youngers even commit crimes. So every parents faced a boring problem. How can we control the website our kids browsing. Can you give some good advice?
2 people like this
4 responses
@corilat (182)
• Australia
10 Jan 08
For young kids I think we can give them a time limit each day for spending time on the computer. You can also restrict the kinds of sites they're allowed to visit with special programs-though I don't know much about that. But, older kids is a bigger problem-teenagers. I guess they can still have time-limits, but it may be harder to enforce them. Kids in general should be encouraged to discuss with parents any issues they have, for example, things they see online or people they talk to, if anything worries them and so on. The TV can be just as bad as the internet, a timewaster. Kids need to be encouraged to spend more time outside, with friends, doing sports and so on. I think the best solution again, is setting limits, say an hour a day to watch tv, half hour on the computer and so on.
@raidun (22)
• China
11 Jan 08
I think you are right. But I can't insist on that. He will beg for ten more minutes, then 5 mibutes. I am not a determined person and I often give up. Anyway I should try my best to give him time-limits. Thank you!
1 person likes this
@corilat (182)
• Australia
12 Jan 08
Giving in to kids is almost never a good thing. For one thing, giving in gives them power, lets them know they have control over you if they beg enough. For another, although they may not always realise it, kids generally need rules and guidelines; it makes them feel secure, so that they know what they can and can't do. (Kids may occasionally toe the line and try to push you to the limits but ultimately they're testing to see how strong the boundaries are, and they need to know that the line exists. They don't want to have too much power because they can feel lost.) When kids are given too much freedom, it often has negative effects on them, because they feel less secure; they don't know where they stand. Setting appropriate rules and giving a child structure helps the child grow to be a healthy, stable person. So I think regarding internet use, you should let your child know in advance exactly how long he's allowed on the computer, and make sure that he agrees to the time, that way when the time comes to get off he can't say he didn't know. Being firm may seem difficult, but being too kind is often more unkind to the child in the long run.
• Canada
10 Jan 08
We have total control. My hubby is a computer guru so everything is on a network with passwords and the children are only allowed a certain time limit and certain sites. I did catch my daughter sign up on a site without asking me once. I was so upset. The site was kid friendly and really not a big deal however the rules are you have to ask first. My daughter is also 12 and the site clearly indicates (just like every other one) that you must have parental permission to sign up! she told me she knew that I would allow it so didn't think it was a big deal. The big deal is that she 1. lied about her age to sign up and 2. went against the household rules. She was grounded from the computer and the site. I still felt bad because it was a good site. The problem here lies with the school system as well. She found this site through her teacher who told the students it was a safe site. It's true however she shouldn't be encouraging this.
• Canada
10 Jan 08
oh I should have added that I have a HUGE problem with minors using webcams. I don't mind my kids talking to grandma and grandpa while we're sitting there with them. I mean camming with their friends. I care for a 13yo girl who is constantly on cam with friends, and men, from other countries. I have a HUGE problem with that.
• India
10 Jan 08
Hi raidun, Since you have asked for advice I am giving you my advice. First thing, if you have an internet connection in home, immediately remove it. Do not give any big money to your children. Be very strict on their going to browsing cafes. Beheave in a manner that your children should feel that you are watching them. In case if they require Internet for their studies, visit along with them to a cafe. If you do like this for some time your children will come out of their addiction. You may have a doubt in your mind that what you should do without Internet.Yes, you should also cut your interest on Internet, because you have to be a role model to your children. Good Luck.
10 Jan 08
I discipline my 18th month old son, I doubt mean going overboard or getting to strict but it's the best time for him to learn in my opinion. I want him to grow up like my wife and I, not like some of the little thugs you see walking around where I live and if it means I have to keep him in reality then I will but genereally as he gets older I'm going to encourage learning and hopefully he'll see that being out of control isn't accptable. ~Joey