Would anyone care to give a struggling writer some feedback?

The first paragraph needs to be reworked as an introduction paragraph. Sometimes though you can get away with just cutting right to the chase, few readers actually appreciate it. If you are concerned about how your article is faring, compare yourself to the top entries (I just did this). Those articles have a clear introduction and their articles are well laid out in terms of form and information. Most importantly they have a lot of useful information in them, delivered succinctly per paragraph. You've done some of this too and in your own way. Keep up with the information both what you know and other things you've researched. In my opinion better articles comprise the most information in a comprehensive fashion. To help out maybe consider these for toddlers and reading - Eyesight is still developing, larger objects/text are more useful - Once the child is reading independently smaller texts can be used - Label the child's things and/or things around the house - Encourage reading by reading aloud - Read with your child and annunciate - Maximize reading in everyday life (cookbooks, childbooks, supermarkets, street signs) - Have construction paper or computer paper and large markers, encourage writing/drawing words to help with literacy - There are programs/materials that can "help" (up to you how you use it in your writing but I think it should be mentioned) In terms of form or method of operation I'd prewrite the article into bullet points like I've done and then figure out where you want to place each idea in the overall framework of the document. The idea is to make the writing so that it has a logical flow. *************** = Example --- Intro (maybe about child reading programs, computer programs and what's out there) (maybe about the health of the child, what reading implies, etc) (basic ideas about reading with your child - spend time, large objects, annunciation) ------ Para 1 (Basic Knowledge 1 - Toddler health/development) ------ Para 2 (Basic Knowledge 2 - Reading Ideas) ------ Para 3 (Reading Idea 1 - Large Object Reading) ----------- Sub-idea (if necessary/optional- Label everything can go here maybe) ------ Para 4 (Reading Idea 2 - Construction Paper/Drawing & Reading) ------ Para 5 (Reading Idea 3 - Exemplify everyday reading, signs, notes, etc) ------ Para 6 (Reading Idea 4 - Spend time reading with child) ------ Para 7 (Reading Idea 5 - Smaller Object Reading) ------ Conclusions/Final Thoughts (Websites for parents, programs for children, general ideas, involving parents, do not push your child) ************ You can switch these like you want. Pay particular attention to introduction and conclusion. You can either reiterate from each other, or place different ideas in each one. I prefer the reiteration, but in the case of helium and other more casual articles, the other idea can work too. After that, write out a rough draft. Read it as objectively as you can. Check for the obvious (mispellings, grammatical errors). Check for other reading difficulties, verbosity. See if you can make it more legible, succinct yet informational and original as you can. After you check it have other people proofread it and give you feedback. Compare the comments to your own thoughts and decide what you will. When you are finished, give the writing one final check and have that be that. Other thoughts: Personal ideas and stories may help too. You can have all of these ideas, but at least pointing out what works with your child or children/families you know, that gives something to the reader as another guide. You've got a good article, but I can see why you are a bit concerned. Fear not though, writing is easy for some, but many have problems with it. Also know that you can do almost everything right in your article and people may still not like it (think of some people on mylot and what they write). I just say keep at it in any case. If you have trouble writing, continue to practice on helium or maybe here on mylot. If its not your writing and just the "community" itself, then its fine. Keep writing and keep expressing yourself. Approach-wise, maybe think out and take longer with the articles if it really matters. If this does not yield the results you want immediately again, don't get discouraged. This will take time. Final thoughts. If you are struggling attention wise, being unique with your ideas, stories, thoughts can help that. If people have seen 1st out of 27th, 2nd out of 27th, 3rd out of 27th... chances are they'll have more than enough information already and may not even reach the other entries on the list. Having either a unique article or a stand out article can help out. Of course I realize with rated based sites or view based sites this can become paradoxical (how do you get the views and ratings if you aren't established, etc). I think, perhaps you should look at other topics on helium or maybe devise one of your own if possible. Respond to the other topics with your own article (be it short, long, well thought out or on-the-fly). The idea is to get "you" out there Sillychick. Also this can help your writing practice in ways. I wish you the best. If you need any more thoughts, help, ideas or just a word, feel free to come find me.

Hiya Sc, Had a quick look through your article. You have some fantastic ideas in there and you are certainly right about the opening line. I actually think that is your biggest downfall. The whole paragraph is no good (sorry to be blunt) Even if you want to use this somewhere else in the article it needs to be rewritten as it seems a bit contradictory to what the rest of your article is saying. I understand what you mean, reading at such an early age is not really possible but you can lay the foundations for later in life. I haven't read any of the other articles yet, only the opening lines of the top rated ones. The only other thing I noticed was that it felt a bit disjointed and did always have a nice easy to read flowing text, this could be just me though. Your sentences are nice and short, which I have been told is good for Internet writing however I have also read that a paragraph need only be 2-3 sentences long. Most of yours are double this I think. I certainly found two that I would split up. You may want to add a brief line or two about reading from birth and not to force the issue, if they don't feel like story time don't make them. Finally remember that even though it may not rate well it doesn't mean it is not a good article. Raters can be very fickle. Some of what I think is my best work has rated poorly, while other articles I rushed through in half hour have made it to the top of the pile. I can't work it out. Always hold your head high and feel pride in your work

Here is my two cents, by know means the best solution. But I tend to try to find something that catches the eye in the first couple of sentences. It gets better ratings that way. I have also started more writing in third person to keep from pointing the finger (inadvertently). It is hard to know what the Helium reader wants and I've seen some bad articles that were false at the top of the heap. But I just keep plugging along.