What to do when they can't take care of thier self.

United States
January 15, 2008 12:00pm CST
What do you do when the parents can't take care of thier self anymore they both have some much wrong with them,the father in law his mind is really bad and her isnt much better they need help so he has went to file papers to take over thier care is that the right thing to do they are bad off but will that make it harder on them knowing that they can't do for thier self anymore they both have been out going people and now they can't hardly go neither is a good driver anymore and we are so afraid that they will get hurt or killed or hurt someone esle he has pulled out in front of a coal truck lucky they wasn't hurt the car was messed up some but the next time what will happento them what esle can be done we are new at this we don't know really what to do is he doing the right thing takeing over thier care.
2 people like this
6 responses
• United States
16 Jan 08
I need you to answer a couple questions before I give you a full answer. (1) Are either or both on Social Security, Medicare,Medicaid? (2)How far do you live from them and would you be willing to work in the home 5 days a week, 8 hours a day for about $800.00-$1000.00? (3)If no to above, would you prefer a nursing home or workers to come into their home a couple days a week for a few hours to do home work? (4)How many nursing homes (approx.)do you have within 15-20 miles of your home? In the mean time, if you are very concerned about their driving, I would take the keys to the car and remove a part off the car to keep them from driving.Not only do you have to worry about them hurting themselves or somebody else, you have to worry about them being sued if they are in a wreck(their fault)and their insurance doesn't cover the full cost.They could end up losing everything.
1 person likes this
@maxsee212 (799)
• United States
16 Jan 08
a home would be the perfect place for them, unless you would like to take care of them instead. just like the previous writer commented, they got medical professionals in a home. i mean if you can't afford or they can't afford to go to a home, then you can find other ways to take care of them like maybe you can ask some of your relative to take care of them. the best decision you could do is to think about their welfare and you can work efficient in your life. i think the best solution to your problem would be putting them to a home. but i'm not always right.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
16 Jan 08
If you and/or other family members live close, the best thing right now might be to visit as often as possible - daily if you can, or more often. Rotate with other family memebers and ask the neighbors for help. My grandmother is past that state and lives at home "by herself". She lives 4 hours away from us, but a few family members are in town for her and check on her all the time. For years we have had the neighbors looking in on her - they are great about it. My mother now has a few nurses staying with her most of the time because it's starting to get pretty dangerous for her. I noticed someone else mentioned a senior home. I used to work at a "retirement community" and it was wonderful for the people there. We had a fully staffed skilled nursing facility, so there was always someone there if anything happened. Most of the people there lived independently, but it was very reasurring for the family to know that someone was there if they were needed.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jan 08
He has made the only choice he can. He is looking out for their welfare and making sure they don't hurt themselves or others. It is a very hard decision to make. There may come a time when he has to look into nursing homes or at the very least assisted living apartments. It is sad when you have to make this type of a decision. Just stand behind his decision and let him know that you support his decision and will stand with him on it.
@rockvixen (894)
• United States
15 Jan 08
I'm sorry about your situation. Unfortunatly once this starts to happen, it may be time to look into a home to put them in. In a home they have nurses and doctors and other people they can socialize with, but also who can help them and do things for them. You need to consider this, because if you leave them to someone else, you never know what can happen, leave them to a home. You may want to contact your local hospital and ask about homes that won't cost to much to put them in, a place where they will be safe and I'm sure they will help you. I wish you the best.
1 person likes this
@newfette (338)
• Canada
15 Jan 08
I am sorry that you have to be put into this situation, but it is the circle of life. Some people, and society have a belief that a senior's home or retirement home is somehow evil, or bad, or something you should only as a last resort. When in fact, many are really great! They will be safe, which is #1. They will be cared for, there will be Doctors and nurses to help them. Volunteers who come to play chess, or read to them (I used to read to the older people staying in the hospital when I was a teenager). And they will make new friends! Personally, I think that if you are not able to stay home from work and take care of your parents because of your financial situation or because you are very work-oriented, then that is okay. IT is okay if you don't want to do it. And don't feel guilty for bringing them to a home. they might love it! And if they don't...then find another solution. It's worth a try, and a new experience for them :) I hope that helps.