if you are of a different race and you are put in a chinese household...

Philippines
January 17, 2008 2:54am CST
i am a filipino and i married a chinese guy. now, i am living with my husband together with my in-laws. my husband is of course filipinized already, but my in-laws still pretty much speak chinese as their primary language. i understand only a few words. but i don't understand complete sentences. i don't mind them talking in chinese at all, because i understand that is the language that is natural to them. but in your case, what do you think? what will you do? you don't know what they are talking about and they might be talking about you.? what i am glad about is that i know some words. and they don't know the extent of what i can understand. so at least it is a mystery for them...\lol but don't get me wrong. i love my in-laws! they are the best in the world. i wouldn't exchange them for any other family! they care for me so much! they are also very considerate and understanding. i wouldn't want to get married into any other family either. but what do you think? :-)
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4 responses
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
18 Jan 08
Hello spoiled311, My in-laws too, are from different race and culture. Unfortunately, I only met them twice after getting married. So, I don't have any experience staying with the in-laws. But I have a friend who is married to a Russian guy and she went to stay with her mother in law for a month or two. She speaks English and the mother in law speaks Russian only. It is hard for them to communicate. When her husband interfered and asked his mother why she seldom talk to the wife, the mother told him that it was hard for her to communicate with the daughter in law and the best thing for her is just keep quiet and use sign language where necessary *laughs*
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• Philippines
18 Jan 08
hahah yea...thanks for your reply. i thank God for HIs favor and grace because He gave me great in-laws. God bless you gr8life! :-)
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@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
18 Jan 08
Hello spoiled311, Aha! I don't know yet whether my in-laws are great or not ( but I do hope they are *laughs* ) Whatever it is, I already accepted their son as my beloved husband (and hopefully it will be forever) and I think I have to accept them into my life as well *smiles*
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• Philippines
20 Jan 08
hi gr8! well said. like my friend, she heard her mother in law gossipping about her. she thought of confronting her mother in law, but she said, that might put something between their relationship. she said she doesn't want a bad relationship with her inlaw because she can't exchange her for someone else. lol have a great day! :-)
@youless (112177)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Jan 08
Although my in-laws are also Chinese, but they speak in their own dialects. There are many dialects in China. So I can't understand when they are talking. But I know they are nice people, and they won't say something bad about me. My father-in-law can speak in Mandarin, so that we can communicate. Whereas my mother-in-law doesn't speak in Mandarin and she can only speak in her own dialect. So sometimes we will have a difficulty to communciate with each other. However it is very strange that she speaks her own and I speak mine, but it seems we can understand each other. Perhaps it's the gesture or the facial expression.
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• Philippines
18 Jan 08
haha that's funny youless. you are all chinese and can't understand each other. same is here in the philippines. it's just that they also have other customs and traditions that i just accept...hehehe i am pretty good here at my in-laws house ;-) God bless you dear! :-)
@emarie (5442)
• United States
18 Jan 08
i wouldn't worry too much about them saying bad things about you if they treat you good. if you want to make an effort to even learn some Chinese then i think that will impress them a lot to. since your husband adjusted to you, its only right to do the same (at least a little) for him.
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• Philippines
17 Jan 08
Well I think you'll be comfortable as time goes by, you'd know a lot more words in chinese. I can teach if you want hehe :) Anyway, if that would be my case that I'm the one who's not chinese, then I'll try to learn more chinese words so I could understand everything they say,, or maybe after they have talked, I would ask my husband about that conversation :)
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