What would you do if your 15 year old.........

@neelygal (1022)
Bahamas
January 19, 2008 8:49am CST
What would youdo if your 15 year old son came home and told you that he had a girl pregnant?How would you handle it?How wold you feel?I think I would be ready to kill him.Would you make him take responsibility for the child after it was born?Would you help the girls family with expenses for the child?
12 people like this
37 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
19 Jan 08
Pregnant teen! - teen pregnancies
My third child was a boy and I spent many years worrying about the day he would come home and tell me he had gotten a girl pregnant. He is 31 now and it still hasn't happened...lol! If it had happened after he got up from my knocking him down and stepping on his face a lot I would have made sure that he did right by the girl and the baby by helping them with expenses before and after the child was born. I'm very happy to this day that we never had to go through that experience.
4 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 Jan 08
He would have to get a job, even a part time job to support the baby. I would be as angry as I could, that he would actually be so stupid as to have s*x before he was married and that now there is this girl out there who will have to either quit school or her mother has to sit at home and look after that baby while she goes to school. Of course I would help with the baby, I would babysit for her and help with the expenses. Knowing me, I would try to get custody if the girl wanted to give the baby up for adoption, and if not, we would try to get them to get married as soon as they are old enough.
• Canada
19 Jan 08
First things first, be supportive. They made a mistake. Don't make them feel like they're going to regret it forever. You can't turn back the clock, but believe me, they will be more careful in the future. I would definitely talk to him about owning up to his responsibilities as a father. If him and the girl stay together, just support them both. I realize that at 15, they both have a lot of growing up to do, and as adults, you and her family can help them. Don't do everything for them, they will have to learn themselves, but definitely help them out. If they decide to raise the child together, more power to them. There are support groups to help everyone involved. P.S. I was a parent at 15 and had no support or help. I wish I knew then what I know now.
2 people like this
@fianne (1057)
• United States
19 Jan 08
wow... i have a son. but i cannot handle that if one day he will approach me and say she got a girl pregnant. but as a parent, i will help my son handle the problem, since he is still considered a minor. i will give my son a chance to prove himself and that he is willing to take responsibility of what has happened not making to a point to abort the baby. not to the point that i will ask my son to marry the girl she got pregnant with, but to consider himself a father now and be open with me and to his father about his emotions and hardships handling it. much better if she and the girl talks to us about it. yes, i will help the girl's family on the expenses and everything. even the name of my son will be given and i will give the blessing to the baby too, he or she is now a part of my family. i admit hat it will be hard to get over and done with that problem since my son is still minor, attending classes in school but the baby has no fault. i will not hate my son for what he did, i will just make him realize that what he DID was wrong, the act per ce. well, as for my son, whatever happens he is my son still, i will support him in everything and give him the understanding that he needs but i will make sure he will be responsible enough for what he did to the girl and for being a father by then.
2 people like this
@mehale (2200)
• United States
19 Jan 08
I think that at first, at least, I would be mad enough to strangle him! After calming down, however, I would sit down and have a very long talk with him. He would need to know that this pregnancy he helped to create is a living person. I would try to explain to him the responsibilities that come with children and help him come to terms with it. I would also want to sit down with both him and the girl to try to help them decide what is right for them. If they decided not to keep the baby, I would try to persuade them to put it up for adoption instead of taking the easy route of abortion. I would also want to talk with her parents and together try to work out the best solution for all involved.
2 people like this
@densky12 (164)
• France
19 Jan 08
Oh! i'm also a teen..nowadays, a lot of teenage girls get pregnant and its not good to hear that..that's my opinion. I mean, they should suppose to study first and of course they're not yet prepared for that responsibility..maybe only some..so, if a son would come home and told his mother that he had a girl pregnant maybe the mother will be shock at first. But maybe after that, she would accept it and help in the expenses too because it's also a blessing..
2 people like this
@plumwish07 (4057)
• Indonesia
23 Jan 08
i know its really hard situation if our son having those situation. but what we can say then if its already happened? we can't turn back the time, right? past time already happened and only left now and later on. angry and disappointed would be common feeling which rising up on that moment. who is the parents wants to have this situation? but rather than we just only regret whats already happened, it would be better if we take a look for next day. i would try to make those girl being my daughter in law. like or not my son must be give his responsibility. i know he is still under age to have this responsibility but he should burden it. at least until his baby already delivered by his girl friend. ready or not he should be good father to the baby and as his parents, i would like to help him how to treat his family. of course the way to teach him would not be the same when he was still alone. no matter how, to make him more mature still being the task of the parents, right?
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
19 Jan 08
We have three daughter's so I can only guess how I'd feel. First of all I'd be irritated and angry. Then elated I was going to be a grandma. Yes, I would definitely make him take responsibility for his actions. If the mother decided to keep the child and needed help financially, I would help if my son wasn't able to find a job and help support the baby.
1 person likes this
@dramaqn (1990)
• United States
19 Jan 08
If my son got a girl pregnant he would definitely have to take responsiblity. No ifs ands or buts about it. His father and I would both make sure things were handled properly. Luckily where I live kids are allowed to get work permits at 14, so he would have to get a job if he didn't already have one. I personally wouldn't help the girls family with expenses, but my ex-husband probably would. I would do what I could for the child as a grandparent to the best of my abilities though. If during the pregnancy she needed a ride to doctor appointments I'd take the her and my son. Oh trust me, he would definitely be at every appointment. Having been a teen mom, I know what the girl would be going through.
1 person likes this
• Egypt
20 Jan 08
well first i will going mad that he do that to a girl in his age, and i might be admiring him ro reach this level on his own :) (i am kidding) and sure i will have to make him take respansablite for what he did and offcurse i have to pay for it's expanses as long he can't offared that becuase i got to blam too as i didn't teach him well
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 08
I'd be shocked and a bit disappointed that he didn't wait, but I had my children young too... though not that young. Everything in me would want to adopt the baby, or at least have custody until the girl and my son were old enough and finished with their education. Either way, he'd definitely be there for the girl and her baby, and I'd strongly suggest that he get custody as well as her.
1 person likes this
@zxtzxt (214)
• Philippines
20 Jan 08
I also once a teenager so I think I will understand BUT of course I will tell him to get a job (a part time of course) continue his study and become a good father. I will help him but he needs to help himself too. I will talk to girls family and see what everyone can contribute to the situation. I would rather have that instead knowing my son is taking drgus that might lead to something worse.
• United States
19 Jan 08
ok he would get his a** beat first of all. If she had the child, I would first get a paternity test. After that he would have to get a job to take care of the child because that is not something I would do.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 08
Well, I don't have any kids of my own that old yet, but my brother is 16 years younger than me, so he is like a son to me also. He did get a girl pregnant when he was 16 (he still is 16) and it is pretty hard. He doesn't have a job and he has not been a very good kid, long story. But my mom and stepdad have been by his side the whole time which I believe, has helped a lot. They get his son whenever they can and do help out with diapers etc., but are not paying anything else until blood tests are done.
• United States
21 Jan 08
I would not abandon my child..never...if they really needed it I would help a little bit but my mom didn't help with my first son and I didn't expect her too. I think you really don't know until you are in that situation....
20 Jan 08
After killing him, I would probably tell the mother she's a pregnant teenager widow and she will probably be adopted by the guinness world records' foundation for being the most nonsense girl in history...Ok ok, I'll be serious...What would I do? After the shock, I think I would sit with my son and explain him his life is dramatically changing, and he will directly be a man without ever being young...As a consequence, his lifestyle must change (I mean, to leave a girl pregnant at 15 probably his previously life was at least chaotic and full of bad choices/attitudes/behaviours and - eventually - companies), and he should take care of the child. The problem should be shared with the girl's family and we both should try to mantain this new - strange - family 'till they'll be able to have enough financial resources to make that child grow up happy and healthy... Anyway, if I ever had a son who leaves a girl pregnant in his very early years, the truth would be I'm a very,very,very bad parent...(did I say "very" ?)
• Canada
20 Jan 08
I wouldn't count you as a bad parent...Your son would have made the poor decision! I agree we have a responsability and we raise them the best we can and show them love etc. but in the end they do make their own decisions and they must live up to their choices not us as parents! ~Heavens~
• Janesville, Wisconsin
13 Aug 10
I would be angry, upset, and mad.. But also do all I could to support both teens into helping them grow into healthy young parents, whether they remain together as a couple or not. I would encourage healthy responsibility out of both and if they could not raise the child well... then encourage them to adopt to another relative, or a friend.. and if last resort encourage foster care system..
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
26 Jan 08
I actually have a close friend who had this very thing happen with her son when he was 15 and once she got over the initial shock she handled it very well. He handled fantastically, especially for someone so young. He took responsibility for his baby and from the start and he and the baby’s mother got married several years later – after both had finished their education. It’s certainly not something you would hope to have happen at that age but it can be handled well and things can turn out fine in the long run. My friend wouldn’t trade her granddaughter for anything in the world. Annie
• United States
14 Feb 08
I dont have any boys and my oldest daughter is 10 and I would be devistated that she was pregnet at 15. I would hope to have a conversation with her, her boyfriend and his parents on the subject. I know its to young to be pregnet, but as much as I enjoy my kids, I would want her to be responsable for it. I wouldnet be the mom, she would have to. But also it is her desesion to keep it or not.
• Halifax, Nova Scotia
19 Jan 08
15 is so young to be having a kid.. not so rare these days though i guess.. if my son got a girl pregnant he would definately be doing whatever he could to help out if he wanted his head to stay on his shoulders :) id help out too though cuz at 15 its not like he can work full time.. still has a couple years of school he has to finish.. all of this would be assuming the family was ok with my son being in the kids life too though.. if they wanna keep the baby (my grandchild i guess it would be) then instead of giving them money to help id be putting that money towards the lawyer fund..:) but ya i wouldnt be too impressed with my 15 year old getting someone pregnant!
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Mar 08
Hello neelygal. Well if my 15 year ols son came home and said that he had a girl pregnant I would be shocked. I would also let him know that I am here for him. I would then contact the girls family and see what they wanted to do. Whether the young lady wanted to keep the baby or not would be her national born right. If she wanted to keep the baby then there would be no problems at all. I would set up something so that the young lady, her parents, me and my son could meet up. I would then contact my lawyer and have him draw up a legal document stating that my son and I would be legally repsonisble for half of all the baby expenses including the hopsital bills. The document will state that after the baby is born a paternity test is to be conducted not because the yound lady is nasty or anything but because my son will be paying child support if he is the father of that child when he reahces the age 16. The document will also state that if an event the baby turns out not to be my son's child then the young lady's parents are obligated to pay all the expenses paid by me and my son back but 15 percent. I would then meet with them go over the contract and have us all sign the contract. My son would then get a job so he can help pay for some of the baby needs. That would basically be that. He would participate in his childs life and that is about it. So neelygal with that said NakitaLikely3617 is out!
• Pamplona, Spain
31 Aug 10
Hiya neely, If that happened to me well I would try to take it as it comes and not force issues too much. After all the Mother of the Baby needs to feel loved and wanted and not the reverse. Maybe I would not like the situation very much but I would try to pour oil on troubled waters where I could and just get on with the situation as it is. Also look forward to becoming a Grandma which must be quite something.