Engagement Jitters

@katkah (235)
United States
January 19, 2008 11:11am CST
I know my boyfriend is going to propose soon, and I really want to marry him, so I'm happy about that. The problem is that he's been married before; so he's already done the whole wedding thing & doesn't want to go through it again. I on the other hand, have never been married and do want to have the dress & the day, ya know.... I don't want anything huge, but I do want people there, and I want to do the invitations & all of that. Where as he would just rather elope or something, and have a part/ reception when we got back... I'm just worried that it's going to cause tension in what is otherwise a very good relationship. Isn't that funny, I'm worried that getting married to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with would cause a problem...lol Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions or anything, that would be cool. We're both 31 ( we'll be 32 in February- our birthdays are 3 days apart) Oh, and he's away right now in AIT for the National Guard. He's been gone since November 2, 2007. He got to come home for a couple weeks over Christmas, but won't be home again now until June 2008. Hopefully he doesn't get deployed right after AIT is finished. And we have children, not together, but from previous relationships. I have 5 and he has 2.
2 people like this
1 response
@kykidd (6818)
• United States
19 Jan 08
In tradition, her wedding day is the day every woman has dreamed about since she was a little girl. Traditionally the woman's family pays for the wedding so I don't see why it shouldn't be your decision in the first place.
@katkah (235)
• United States
20 Jan 08
I don't come from a rich family, and I'm a little old to ask mommy & daddy for the money anyway. He and I will be footing the bill for it, and that's OK, it's just going to take some saving & planning. And it's a join affair, so it should be a joint decission. I'm not the kind of person who just tells her man what to do. We compromise & work together as a team. He had a horrible experience with his first wedding & his first wife. I don't want to put him through something that is going to recall bad memories, or tie his past unhappiness to me. I would give up what I want to keep our love from suffering from that. Of course I want my wedding day that I dreamed about since I was a girl, but the life long love of my "Prince Charming" is more important, ya know? He and I will have to talk it over. I would love to have both dreams, but if I have to give up one for the other, it's only fair isn't it? I don't want to be selfish.