I need advice...
By heartuvgold
@heartuvgold (493)
United States
January 20, 2008 2:20am CST
I'm a very affectionate person and I have a lot of compassion for others and try to do what I would want someone to do for me..you know the old golden rule and all that...
But it seems like the more I try to be helpful and do what I know is right the more I wind up being hurt and people taking advantage of me.
I don't have it in me to be any other way. That's just who I am, but if I'm going to keep getting hurt and be kicked to the curb by people I trust, I'm going to have to find a way to build a wall to protect myself or something.
How can you be a caring and loving individual without people walking all over you?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
20 Jan 08
I guess you have to learn to set limits to protect yourself. If someone takes advantage of your kindness and generosity, next time you will have to let them know that because of the way they treated you the last time, you can't afford emotionally to let them do it again. "I would love to help you, but last time I gave you ______, you did ______. So I don't feel that it is in my best interest to help you again right now."
I too tend to be too nice and seem to get walked on. I am trying to learn to be more assertive to protect myself from getting hurt. It is hard work.
@Canteen (592)
• China
29 Feb 08
i totally agree with you. there's a need to set limits to protect ourselves while we're helping others. and once i read a book which said, don't expect receive rewarding after you help people. the author thinks that being thankful is the outcome of education, and the nature of human beings is ungrateful. maybe when we forget such rewarding things, we can feel better and happier.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
31 Mar 08
You have to be assertive with others and not to change yourself, but to become familiar with those who might be taking advantage of you without your knowledge! For example, there was a post today about being able to tell when someone is lying and a webpage to go to find out how! It was very informative and told us secret ways to find out who is telling the truth or not! Otherwise, just say no once in a while, to make sure you know how!
@luanakent (794)
• Brazil
20 Jan 08
You are right but caution with exageration.
smart People tend to be as vultures.
Where are the meat..they are.
I also had many people who do like this ..
I allowed or ,without realizing, provoked that.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Feb 08
hi it seems to me that us affectionate people so often are not quite assertive enough as we hate to make waves thus we often get stepped on I was taught as a kid to do unto others etc and stuck to that but I also find myself letting others push me around so I am trying to be more assertive without being aggressive.it is really hard but otherwise I am the one who gets shoved back in the line while someone else who pushed in infront of me gets waited on. so now I say excuse me sorry but its my turn and push past the pushee to get waited on. it seems to work.
@SONIA12MAN (238)
• United States
19 Mar 08
although you have to be good be careful that you don't fall in the hands of stupid people. there are those who's heart can not be change because they are too blind to see good. you can help any one. let God decided what your work means. do not stress over the fact that you did something right and some one turn it the other way. what matter is that you do it right for them and have your heart full with love an d joy of doing good.
