When death, especially suicide, touches your life will your ever be the same?

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I know it's normal that I still feel very close to my father who died in 94. We were the best of friends, not just father and daughter. What I don't understand is that I still feel so affected by the suicide of my very close friend in 2001. We spent almost every day together for six months after we met, then when day I phoned to go to his place and his son went and found him dead in bed. I will never forget how awful it was. After several months after his death, I found out that his 20 year old stepson (from a previous marriage where he lost his wife to cancer) had always apparently referred to me in front of his friends as "stepmom". Wow, what a nice tribute. We are not in touch anymore, but I still think of my friend and his son and I still feel very close to them in heart. My life will go on, and now I am happily married, etc...but I will never be the same as I was before that all happened to me.