need some advice about a kid that cries constantly.

@newfette (340)
Canada
January 24, 2008 8:35pm CST
So I am babysitting this 2 year old girl...her and her 4 year old sister. Both are very strange kids. I have babysit a lot of kids in my day but they are the strangest. I have suspicions that they are being neglected at home. So here is my issue. When the two year old goes for a nap, she CRIES bloody murder for about a half hour until she falls asleep. If you wake her up during sleep, she does the same thing. And even sometimes if she wakes on her own she cries again for a long time. Also, I am in the process of helping to potty train her. If I ask her if she has to pee or poo she retracts into herself will not look at anyone will not even answer my question - when normally she is very talkative and plays and runs around like any normal kid. Her and her sister both SHAKE when they wake from naps, and when they are tired before a nap. I just need to know what is wrong with her? How can I help her to calm down and have a nap? When she starts crying I say very calmy and soothing voice, what's wrong? do you hurt anywhere? have a nappie hunny and when you wake up we will play again? etc etc. please help!
2 people like this
4 responses
@sylvrrain (659)
• United States
25 Jan 08
I would surely bring this up with the parents. Something is going on. It sounds like they are afraid, and they may have been abused. I would hate to see you stop caring for the children because you may be the kindest, most stable think in their lives. If the parents are guilty of abusing the girls, and they feel you are suspecting them, they may take the girls away from you. If the parents are innocent of any wrong doing, then they may appreciate the fact that you notice something wrong and will help find an answer or solution to the problem. Good luck with them, and thank you for being there for two little girls who sound like they really need your love.
@newfette (340)
• Canada
25 Jan 08
A part of me is afraid to bring it up with the parents in fear that they will take them away, and then perhaps I was right about the neglect or abuse. I haven't noticed and strange cuts or bruises on either of them. There was one time when the youngest puked and they both were crying hard saying please don't tell my mom please don't tell my mom. Which I also thought was strange. I explained to her it was okay to be sick and just to let me know if her tummy hurts so I can help her. They seemed as if they didn't know what to do with that. When I see their mom next I will ask her if she cries at home when she is going for a nap and waking up. It just doesn't seem right to me.
@newfette (340)
• Canada
29 Jan 08
So I have an update. On Thursday, January 24th, I asked the mom if some of the behaviours were normal at home. She seemed fidgety and didn't really give me a straight response. THEN when she left she turned to the two year old and asked "want to ride up front?" for a 15 minute drive on a road that the speed limit is 80km/hour (about 55 or 60mph I think)!!!!!!!! I was shocked! I didn't even know what to say! And sure enough I saw her put her two year old, who should be in a car seat in the back, up front!!!! The kids have not been here since. They were supposed to be here Friday, and Sunday she called to cancel those dates saying her mom was going to watch them. She said she would call me Sunday night to let me know about this week and didn't. I called her Sunday, I called twice yesterday...no answer. So today when Child Protective Services open I am calling. I am VERY suspicious now.
@lala766 (240)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Because both of the kids are having the same sort of issues I would say something is definetly going on here that is not right. How long have you been watching them? I would talk to the parents and see how their reaction is. If the parents are irate and decide to leave your daycare you can still call CPS to have them looked into.
1 person likes this
@newfette (340)
• Canada
25 Jan 08
They have been coming here for about two weeks, three weeks now. The four year old goes to sleep quite easily (and only has a nap when her mom is working the late shift and won't be there until 11pm). There are just so many signs and behaviours that make me feel like they are either being neglected or abused, or both. I don't know their parents personally and neither has called to check up on them during the day, and they have been here for almost 11 hours sometimes...I find that strange on its own! If I were leaving my baby girl somewhere I would be calling whenever I could!
@asgtswife04 (2480)
• United States
25 Jan 08
It definitely sounds to me like something not right is going on at home. i understand that sometimes children being in a new place will get nervous or cry for their parents and stuff like that, but this seems a little funny to me. it may not only be neglect, but some form of abuse to. i would definitely notify CPS and have them investigate this situation. You can do this anonymously so that they won't know you were the one that called. Something definitely needs to be done though to make sure those children are okay and being taken care of at home. thanks for posting and keep us posted on this situation. God bless
1 person likes this
@newfette (340)
• Canada
25 Jan 08
One of my friends suggested calling child protective services anonymously as well...perhaps that is a good idea. I am not the only person who watches them either...they just left their previous childcare provider because she had back problems. And the four year old goes to a neighbor for afterschool days while I have the two year old at my house. I would feel guilty if it wasn't the parents and it was just weird kids or something...I feel guilty either way. I think I'm going to go make an anonymous call today - I don't have any kids today other than my daughter. Thanks for your response.
@gdisites (161)
• United States
25 Jan 08
It could be almost anything. Sometimes kids react that way because they are spoiled and in total control of the parents in stead of the other way around. You need to be strong, loving and consistent with them and they will lose their feer of sleeping even if it's only while your are the one keeping guard while they are in dream land. Try a different nap place. Let them nap on the couch and you to to another room. That may also work. If it is the unthinkable, you have to suspect the parents. Therefore, the last thing you do is raise concern there. If those kids lose you, then they lose their out of the situation. Nice stories before sleep may help if it's bad dreams. My kids hear me talking softly to them about fun things we did while they sleeping / dreaming and I see them re-living those times virtually. The feet twitch as they run and play at the park - I know they are dreaming the seeds I plant. ( I love to watch them dream ) Then while they are in dream land, you may want to do some investigation on your own. Look at their dirty clothes for evidence. Check the family computer for images of por n especially of that related to the type of abuse you suspect. When you have solid proof, sidestep the parents and bring in the authorities. Good Luck! I would hate to see my kids with problems too big for their little minds to handle. :)
@newfette (340)
• Canada
25 Jan 08
It's interesting that you brought up they could be spoiled and run their parents. Because the two year old is treated like a baby with her mom that I have seen. Her mom still carries her around, to and from car and such. She still speaks to her in a baby-like way. And she is no where near potty trained (past two years old is late isn't it?) she does not ever pee in the potty. She pooped right in her underwear and pants the other day. I think she likes being the baby, maybe that is why she cries for naps? Although, I have a 10 month old and she doesn't cry when she goes for a nap, so you'd think the two year old would see that a baby doesn't cry for naps... I have tried a few different nap places, none have worked. I've tried to read her books or tell her stories, neither work, she won't even stop crying long enough to hear any of the words I am saying to her. I don't babysit them in their home, they come to my home so I cannot check their computer. It's a hard situation to be put into! I just thought I would babysit kids and get to play and colour with them! I never thought I would ever be suspecting foul play...