how long do you think that a good relationship will last?
@mscongeniality (110)
Canada
January 29, 2008 12:50am CST
how long do you think that a good relationship will last....
coz i've seen my parents so in love with each other when i am still a child. seeing them so happy together makes me idealize their relationship and wished that i can find a man like my dad and be as happy as my mom.
but then when they got old and we their children has family of our own... my parents separated.
my dreams fallen apart, like a mirror that was shattered... i am like a puzzle with one piece missing...
i can't believe that once a happy family could end into this... i was like a child who sob and asking for comfort... Does their love for each other really dies?
They were on their late 40s when they separated. i never expected that at their age they will part ways. and its hurting me so much.
5 people like this
27 responses
@sheenshaukat (2617)
• Pakistan
2 Feb 08
It is a tragic story of your life up till some extent. Your dad and mom were in love with each other. They were passing an ideal life, but unfortunately they separated. Your dreams fallen apart. And you are puzzle. This is a truth of life you are facing. Why did they leave each other? There is something hidden in between the story, and that is a great lesson of life. Now you got married, you have your own family. It is cycle of life. You should keep it behaving nicely in light of the lesson you learnt from the story of your parents love and separation.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
31 Jan 08
This just shows you, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. They may have not been as happy as you thought. They may have just been pretending for the kids sake. Or they did love each other but once the kids are grown and gone on their own, they realized they wanted more out of life than what they had. Who knows, why not ask? Talk to your mom and ask her what happened. Ask her if she fell out of love with your dad and why. I think that love can last forever but it takes commitment and hard work. Relationships don't just happen. You have to make the effort to keep it loving and happy. You need to communicate with your hubby. You need to compromise with your hubby. You need to show your hubby how much you love him by doing things for him. I don't think it has to end, ever.
1 person likes this
@exchange (947)
• Australia
30 Jan 08
a good relationship will never end
only a bad relationship and at some time
your parents seperated in their 40's
my parents have been together for over 55 years
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
20 Feb 08
good for you. youre lucky to have parents like them so be greatful and always loved them. Coz we never know what tomorrow will bring. I'm happy for you. Wishing that they will last forever!
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
29 Jan 08
Don't let your life be ruined by that event no matter how tragic the way things went on with your parents but they have their chance and they did have their wonderful years. I think you should never see that as a sign of you becoming exactly like that instead learn from that event and avoid getting into that situation and have your life be as positive and loving the best way you could. I think life is so short so make it the best you could there are things that happen without your control and you should always be ready to face it and conitnue moving on no matter what. How good a relationship will last depends on you how long you want it to be. Just don't be afraid to love and be hurt because it is from there that we learn to live and love.
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
4 Feb 08
Thanks for the compliments. I really forgot about it and then I got an email telling me you took noticed of my post. Well unfortunately love to come to a point were it tarnished by time but no matter how you deal with it you could survive and make it glow like it was before.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
2 Feb 08
you hAVE great words of wisdom. that is exactly what i am doing. keeping my family intact together as possible as it can be. i just hope our love (me and my husband) with each other wont fade. we're now at our 14 years of marriage and i am so thankful about that. Being happily married with the man that i love!
thanks for your wonderful advise.
1 person likes this
@TravisE (440)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I am sorry for the difficulty you are going through.
The answer to your question is; as long as it does. Nothing stays static forever, and sometimes things end. If your parents feel they need to separate it may be much better that they do than forcing themselves to stay in a situation that no longer serves them.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
20 Feb 08
As what you said "it is much better that they are separated than forcing themselves to stay in a situation that no longer serves them." That's what Im keeping in my mind right now to lessen this feeling that I have towards my parents. But still I am hoping and praying that someday they can be together again and if this will no longer be possible atleast they can be good friends. Then maybe there will be a relief on our part...their children.
@baebieDARNA30 (788)
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
for me a good relationship lasts forever, no time limitations, no end.. a good relationship is endless.. if you have the entire lifetime loving each other, then it's true love.. as long as you know you are happy with the love you are having, then you can say it's good..
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
20 Feb 08
That's what i believed before, that good relationship last forever. But because of what had happened to my parents then I realized that not all true loved last forever because for some reason that when someone along the way intervere. Then love ended. Because even if you have a good relationship and is happy with it, still you need to take care of that relationship in order to make it last.
@expectantheart (12)
• Philippines
29 Jan 08
a good relationship should not be based on love alone. respect, loyalty, friendship, strong bond with the Lord and many other factors count alot. just my 2 cents worth.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
20 Feb 08
yes, i agree with you. It's true that there should always have respect, loyalty, friendship and with the strong bond with the lord. These will make the relationship perfect to last a lifetime.
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
9 Feb 08
I'm so sorry to hear that. It must really hurt after all these years. We always think about how hard divorce is on children but I think it's hard on the grown children as well. Who can say what happens in relationships? Everyone's different and every situation is different so it's impossible to know what tomorrow may bring. Just hope for them both to be happy and well and try to be a good a daughter to both of them. Hugs to you!
Annie
@kat_princess (1470)
• Philippines
31 Jan 08
I also heard of things like that happening to happily married couples after many years of getting married.Well,maybe the spark just disappeared.I agree with you that such things are heartbreaking.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
30 Jan 08
In this world nothing is permanent, and me I don't expect to much in a relationship I just go along and don't dream of having a permanent and long lasting relationship. Because even us we don't know if we can live a longer life we can't predict our future if tomorrow were still alive. It is also the same in a relationship all of us are used to change even we don't want it to happen and maybe in your parents case there is love but they choose to be separated because they changed and somehow they did not like to be with each other anymore. Don't be to much affected about it just pray and love them both the important thing they are still alive and you have still parents to comfort you if you need them.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
7 Mar 12
Oh wow, this post was too long ago and haven't visited my site since then...
You are right nothing is permanent. We can't even predict a longer life and even know if tomorrow we are still alive. What is important is to make this day to the fullest. Having parents that are separated is really hard because all we wanted is to have a perfect family and to have a perfect life. But I think being perfect is way out to impossible because everything should have a little flaws at least. I agree that we have to love our parents and that the important thing is they are still both alive. I just hope my dad is there to comfort me when I needed him... And I will be there to comfort him too. But because of some reason I can't show all my love for him. I can not say anything about my mom she is always there for me.
Oh well, thank you for the comment.
@spooks (6)
• India
30 Jan 08
hi ter,
a good relationship wil last for long unless tey both think tat it is a good one goin between tem. they should be good in heart and should dedicate their life to tat relationship ten no matter in tis world can make them apart.. the relationship wil be smooth and also very much strong.. hope it clears ur doubts..
@season0907 (671)
• India
29 Jan 08
Hi mscongeniality,
As long as the couple have understanding in each other, as long as they adjust to each other and as long as they can sacrifice things for each other the relationship lasts forever.
Good Luck.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
29 Jan 08
i agree with you...
just hoping that nothing wont go wrong at the end...
@Estina54 (385)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Some relationships last a very long time, though, being a good relationship is a questionable thing. They break up and make up many times. I kind of thing a cou[le is getting used to each other and find it difficult to start it over again with someone else. It is not always because they are in love, they just can work it out because they are used to each other.
@crazylife (855)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Sometimes parents make look like they are happy but most of the time they are not, I know people that stood together because of the kids but at the end of the day they were neve happy, but don't worry you will find a man that will live to forever and that will stay with you, but sometimes things happen and people lose interest in each other, and they don't want to make things work, they give up, but maybe you could ask your mom or dad what happen, why did you guy separate and let them know how you feel about them parting.
@mscongeniality (110)
• Canada
29 Jan 08
thanks for the respond.
i guess i already found the man that will stay with me and live with me forever. we're turning forteen this month of january and i am still very happy with him.
i hope we wont end like my parents like you said that maybe lose their interest with each other. but oh my..., just think about it they lost their interest after 32 years?
oh, well i just hope that someday they'll sit and talk to settle things. this will help us all move on. i guess...
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I agree with you, that it is just terrible! I think all of us should be taught how to keep love alive.. cause once you have it, it can(!) be kept alive! All relationships have struggles, and times of disillusionment, but after you ride it out the relationship is better than ever! And I think, unless there is abuse or unfaithfulness involved, just a few skills will keep love alive and vibrant. Yes, it's a real shame and I feel bad for you and all others who's family has broken apart, especially when it was once happy..
:(
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
30 Jan 08
there is not set time for a relationship many relationships last a lifetime and some don't even last for the first year.
It is different for everyone
@sweetaspie52 (2359)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I would pray that if I was to be in a good relationship it would last for the rest of my life you see that I am a one man woman and I have never cheated on any one of my partners they always cheated on me My mother brought us girls up to be true to our partners
@jhazie (340)
• Philippines
30 Jan 08
Hi, Thats life,oh sorry dear but i tell you one thing
'For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow only vision,
But today, well-lived, makes every yesterday
a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow
A vision of hope and joy.
Look well then to this day'
Success in marriage is based on compatibility rather than just only finding the right partner. Both partners must try the right person by acting out of mutual respect,love and concern for each other.
Thats ok we see faults as well as virtues,and we should accept the fact that no one is perfect.
Take care, :) jhaz
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Sometimes I think that some relationships just can last forever on security doesn't mean it's good- just means it just is. To hide in a relationship for kids or security is very common.
A good relationship can last forever and that is the stuff of dreams but seldom found..unless your really lucky! :)
Sorry about your parents I went through a little of the same thing with mine who seperated after a long time but they are better off now!
@hacks1010 (25)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Hopefully if you find the right person it will last as long as it should. You can't change life, it unfolds how it does.
