how to tackle bullies

Singapore
January 29, 2008 9:39pm CST
My son is not 7 and a half and goes to school. Since starting last year I noticed things going missing from his bag like pencils....rulers...erasers. I asked him who they disappeared and he named a boy in his class as the culprit. He said this boy tends to take his things and just "dumps" them at the lost and found. He basically lived through the whole year like that. Unfortunately, this year, the boy is still in his class. And things have gotten worse. Now instead of just dealing with 1 boy, he has to deal with 3! They call him names till my son starts to cry and decides he does not want to participate in the class activity. The other day, while taking some enrichment class that the school provided, he was pushed down and stepped on!(i was horrified when the teacher called me)The teacher told me my son and the boys have been seperated during lessons as they are always fighting and arguing with one another. The other day, i sat him down to find out exactly what had been going on. He brought up an incident that happend last yr when he said the boy tried to kill him (i believe he was exagerating and just didnt know how to express what really happened. Being a boy that cannot focus on anything and he has a terribly short attention, he usually cannot tell me exactly what happened. My son has a very strong character and does not do well with structure. For example if he feels he does not want to do a certain activity, no amount of bribing will make him do it. He sticks to his guns basically. He knows right from wrong. I have run out of ideas and I do not want to keep replenishing his belongings as I do not print money. To make matters worse, I dont quite like the teacher. She makes it sound like when she asks the boys if they hit one another, she takes it for granted they are telling the truth.t she doesn't bother." or " she never believes me" What should I do?!? Sorry if I sound long winded but i am quite angry right now
1 person likes this
3 responses
@lilybug (21143)
• United States
30 Jan 08
My son has one boy who picks on him a lot. He is 8. The boy was held back a grade and he is much bigger than the other kids. My son is bigger than most of the kids in his class and this kid towers over him. My son had come home with bruises on his neck and on his side from this boy. He also got what the boy called an "ATOMIC WEDGIE". It is pretty much a constant thing with them. Some days they act like friends, but most days the act like I described above. The boy always gets punished and they get separated, but nothing seems to deter this kid from picking on my son.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
30 Jan 08
oh my.....I guess I am lucky in the sense that the bullying is not really physical...and I hope it never reaches that point. Apparently they used to be friends last yr but this yr, they are not and the weird part is my son said this all started because he will be a monitor next term and this boy is not happy about it. The boy is like trying to make my son the "bad apple" in the hopes the teacher will change her mind about picking him. On Mon, he came home with his thermometer missing. I was pissed as it was new so i asked him where it was...did he drop it or did someone take it. He named this boy as the culprit yet again. So i wrote a note . and the teachers reply was " Owen(my son) just thinks so-and-so took it as so-and-so takes his belongings all the time. He did not take it." My reply was I was sick, and tired of all this nonsence and I was not going to replace it. I expect to get a phone call from her today most definately. Isn't there anything the teacher can do? or me? For the teacher to tell me she knows this has been going on, just made me angrier.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21143)
• United States
30 Jan 08
So, if she knows that it is going on, does the boy see any consequences for his actions? Or is he like my son Jeremy's bully and just not care?
1 person likes this
• Singapore
30 Jan 08
I think the boy doesn't care. He seems to do these things because he thinks its fun. I do not doubt that boys will be boys. They play rough and all but this is rediculous. I have toyed with the idea of trying to get my son's class changed (since the school year just only started)but I do not know if this will affect him in other ways.
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• United States
30 Jan 08
hey there angela..i had to go threw this when my son was 3 years old..yes 3..sadly he was at headstart and there was aboy hitting him constantly at school..and one day he just snapped out and hit him back and then Sky got in trouble and not the other boy..which pi$$ed me off..then i looked into it farther by talkin to other mothers about this and the boy is the teachers best friends son! Soo he gest away with murder all the time and then to find the teacher was very close with the princepal..soo after 3 mths of hell..i fianlly decided to go to the suoerintendent of teh schools..and told him everything..and that it wasnt just my child..and within a day Sky was removed from that schol and put into another one..and they had a bus come to our home and pick him up and he loved teh new school..i also had teh option of new teacher but hed stil have the same princapal..and i didnt want him to have to worry about her makin teh rest of his year just as bad..and that boy..the teacher and princapal had serious talkings to..soo my best advice is..if no one else will help you..dont be afraid to go to the Superintendent of the schools..they are wayy more help than u think..i wish u the very best luck..April
• Singapore
30 Jan 08
yeah i will wait for the week to end. I want to see if anything else happens and if the teacher does not do something about it I will be making a trip down to the school on Monday to speak to the principle. I have also told me son that the minute he gets home, I want to know everything that happens to him and who did it. I am making a "diary" of sorts. And I told him he has to remember properly and not make up stories or exaggerate things because if I find out he has been lying, its just going to make things worse for both himself and me.
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@Galena (9119)
5 Mar 08
Have you seen the film, Hostel? that's how bullies deserve to be dealt with.