Is your word a commitment?

If I tell you I'll be there at 9 o'clock, I'll either show up or I'll call ahead of time and let you know. I have "friends" that do this and I find it unbelievable. I just don't understand what they are thinking. I guess they just aren't.

its a date for me. I'm a person of my word. If I end up not being able to go, I'll call & apologize

Oh my, to me that is plain rude! If I tell someone I'll be someplace, then I am there, or I will call to tell them I can't make it! I would never just not show up. I have a friend who often cancels on me, so I've learned not to count on her if she does say she is coming over, or if we are going to meet someplace, I call her before I leave to make sure she's going to make it. I've come to expect that from her, which is sad... I would never do that to her.

If i say i'm going to be somewhere, then unless something comes up i will be there. If something does happen to come up, i for sure let the person or people know so that they dont think i have no respect for their time. After all you could be out getting osmething done if you were not waiting for them to show up!! Next time, make the date at her house!! or when your parting after you make plans, say i'll give you a ring in the morning to make sure we're still on ;) lol. that will make her/him think about it maybe. Unless they slow :P *giggles*

I guess it is all about your idea of what commitment is, I do have to agree with you when you say when I say I will be some place I will be there. While I see others are very casual about keeping their word.As for the person who did not show and did not get in touch to either explain why or at minimum apologies I wouldn't put on the coffee until they walked through the door nor would I wait for them if something else came up. I know this sounds a bit harsh but your time is valuable to so don't let every one tread on it

Is your neighbour male or female? I've found men are the worst at committing to anything like that. And they have the nerve to be peeved when we worry about them. Me, if I can't make it, I call and say so, otherwise i am there.

Sometimes, it seems as if a lot of things are pulling me in different directions at once, and I know it, so, these days, I usually won't give any more of a promise than to say that I'll try. Once I catch up and quit outrunning my headlights so much, I can make a more sure commitment than that. I'm known to run a little late at times--and, usually, try to keep people posted when it looks as if I'm going to--but I don't just leave people in the lurch wondering what's happened to me. Instead, if something comes up where I can't make a pre-arranged meeting, I'll call and cancel just as soon as I'm aware that this will be the case.

I mean it when I say I am going to be there. I've never been left in the lurch (so to speak) but people have been late. And everyone knows by now that I'm going to be ther first one there. Well, if friends generally ask me to drop in, I hardly do and always give a call before I do. But there were certain places earlier where I would drop in (now I'm too busy with a baby) and I've been welcomed. "We'll get together" (as I see it) would be more of a suggestion unless a specific day and time was set. Then, I'll be committed and be there...and if I can't, I will inform the other person.

If I tell you I will be there at a specific time then I will either be there or I will call ahead of time. I mean what I say and say what I mean. I hate it when people do that to me, say they will be there and then they aren't. People who do that aren't good neighbors or good friends.

Yes, I feel very strongly about keeping commitments, and as a therapist this is one thing I always talk to my clients about. Keeping commitments or promises increases a sense of certainty which in turn, increases confidence. Even the smallest of promises, when broken, create minor stresses in the subconscious mind that lead to stress. I have written an article on my website if anyone is interested http://ayrehypnotherapy.com/

Several things strike me as interesting/amusing here...... Firstly no-one who has responded has even remotely suggested that you were in the wrong feeling the way you did (and I agree with that sentiment too)so on the basis we all know people (lots infact) who adopt the approach your neighbour did does that mean the same folk a) don't belong to the likes of mylot or b) are actually too ashamed/not bothered to appear and explain themselves lol. Secondly in an age when communication is so much easier than it was in the past why do so many people become less communicative when canceling arrangements (if my opinion if a time is stated you had an arrangement)- it is almost as if it is easier to agree to something and fail to follow through than decline ( and risk offense?) in the first instance. But for me the greatest fault in behaviour such as this is that the offender is actually stating that their time is more important than yours. They had something that was more important than keeping an engagement but your time didn't matter so they not only didn't show up they didn't even bother to let you know either! Wrong Wrong Wrong whatever happened to the old school of manners and common courtesy.

Well, I think your neighbour is very rude for not at least calling you to cancel. I would never do this kind of thing to anyone. If I couldn't make it I would phone. If I say to someone lets get together some time it usually means I will call when I can get together. Sometimes I just say that to be polite and I have no intentions of calling or getting together. So for me it is just a suggestion, not a date. And when someone says it to me, I don't take it too seriously either.

talk about "word of honor." i won't even tell you what time i'm gonna be there. i'm just gonna say "yes" or "no" if i say yes, then expect me to be there. if it's no. then it is a no. i can understand if it is done once or twice -- but habitually? then that sucks. the hardest part here is the "host" (you) is the one who does all the preparation and all. in my case, i get overly excited. and i get really upset when my plans don't go the way i planned it to be.

for me, yes, my word is a commitment. because when i say that i'll be somewhere or will call someone at a certain time, then i make sure that i'm there. that's why i hate it when people don't do the same thing because if i can do that then why can't they. or if they can't make it to the appointed time or place, then they should call and advise you and not make you wait and wait and look like a fool.

My word is definitely a commitment. I would never leave anyone waiting. I think a lot of people today just aren't courteous. It really saddens me. A few people who I have counted on have let me down. If you say you're coming over or you're going to call, then you should do it!

Although You're considerably younger than I am you sure think the same way I do on this topic. To me it means she should have been at your door on or close to 9 o'clock. Now naturally anything can come up and there is such a thing that she was too busy, not feeling well or simply didn't feel like going to your place for coffee and that's fine too but at least take the decency to call and say so. I just don't understand why but for some reason people just don't care the same way they used to.

I always show up when I say I will unless something urgent comes up, then I give the person a courtesy call. I think that is the least a person could do if they can't make it.

Yes, I feel very strongly about keeping commitments, and as a therapist this is one thing I always talk to my clients about. Keeping commitments or promises increases a sense of certainty which in turn, increases confidence. Even the smallest of promises, when broken, create minor stresses in the subconscious mind that lead to stress. I have written an article on my website if anyone is interested Yes, I feel very strongly about keeping commitments, and as a therapist this is one thing I always talk to my clients about. Keeping commitments or promises increases a sense of certainty which in turn, increases confidence. Even the smallest of promises, when broken, create minor stresses in the subconscious mind that lead to stress. I have written an article on my website if anyone is interested http://ayrehypnotherapy.com/CommitPower

I have to say I agree with this. I have a friend that has been telling me for the last 4 months that she is going to come by. I have yet to still see her show up. If I tell someone I am going to show up unless an emergency shows up, but then I am polite enough to at least give them a call. It's rude.