He is Failing!

United States
January 30, 2008 8:10pm CST
My 11 year old is failing and I'm at my wits end. He fails not because he doesn't get the information he is being exposed to, but rather because he cannot seem to get his homework done and turned in. I am beyond frustrated. He has only missed two points on his in class reading tests and yet he has an F in the class, because he has only zeros under the homework part of his grades and it is enough to flunk him. Every class is like this. We have set down with him over and over and over again and shown him how to organize his work all to no avail. He has lost his tv, movie and video game privleges. He has lost his books. And his toys. he has been banned from participating in band consrts or other special events until his grades have improved. And in case you guys think I'm just being mean, he scored in the top 3% of our state on his testing last year. he just doesn't want to do the little stuff. I got a letter today saying that he is in danger of failing his grade. in truth he should have straight A's. Sigh!!
2 people like this
6 responses
@aissha (2036)
• India
31 Jan 08
i'm really concwerned on this ,right now i'll suggest see one child psychologist if this is happening for more than 6 months ,get him assessed ,it will help for sure ,talk to him ,not why he is doing bad in studies or homework,just try to know him better ,involve him ,pls' let us know from time to time how he is doing.reduce things but don't ban anything as it will cause negativity in him ,my brightest blessings.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jan 08
We have gotten his school couselor involved. He hass managed to improve one grade from an F to a C. The other two F's he has left , I don't know. He still didn't Turn in his homework in one and the other one they said he could write a book report for extra credit.
@aissha (2036)
• India
1 Feb 08
i don't know anything abt ur child but i think he is a bright child and something is bothering him ,he won't just obey because he has his own mind and these children who are bright are difficult to handle they need lots of love u can't force them but u can persuade them. i just hope counselleor intervention helps but u being mother know ur child in and out talk to him a lot ,and try to get what is not right with him. brightest blessings.
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
31 Jan 08
well sometimes, children tend to rebel when their parents give some advice or tell them what to do. what's more your son is 11 now and he has his own thoughts and opinions. i think he's rebelling partly because he's been banned from doing those things. you could persuade him like maybe saying, well if you finish this, then i'll you watch this or do that. and no i don't hink you're being mean. sometimes we have to resort to that too. i too scold my son when he becomes lazy in doing his homework. he seems to understand when i am angry and when i'm not so he listens but of course he's still young. he doesn't have to do his homework for like 2 hours or something. so long as he seriously does his work and even finishes it within half an hour, then it's fine because it's practise makes perfect. but i'm kind of surprised that the school would fail him because he didn't do his homework. usually, they would counsel him and try to find out why he's behaving that way. i suggest that you talk to his teachers too, see how he is in class.
• United States
31 Jan 08
I've had a discussion with his school couselor. She is meeting him at the bus each morning to help him make sure he turns in his work. I think that's nice of her, but really how long can she keep doing that. And I don;t think she'll be moving on to high school with him. I certainly cannot stop working to go follow him around and assure that he turns things in. I have seen his finish work in his binder in his backpack, and still he c an't seem to get it turned in.
1 person likes this
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
31 Jan 08
he seems to be a smart child. i would suggest having a serious heart to heart talk with him. not as a parent and child but more like friends. he might be having some problems but it could also be he's just forgetting though this is kind of impossible. i hope everything works out for you. best of luck.
1 person likes this
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
31 Jan 08
That is hard because when I first read it I was thinking to myself take somethings away from him....but you have already tried that and you said that it hasn't worked....Is there anything that he has really wanted...because if so you could try and tell him that if he picks his grades up and does better in school, that he will get(what ever it is that he has been wanting)try that. That may actually get him to try more in school...I know that some people dont think that they should try and bribe their children but if you do this maybe he will see that doing his work and trying hard really does pay off in the long run!
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jan 08
We participate in a rennassiance faire in the spring that he has always been allowed to run around at. he will be allowed to go only if his grades improve. he has made some small improvements, but not nearly enough to keep from failing his grade. e always has a smart remark or excuse for why he can't get it done.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jan 08
First, perhaps he should be tested for underlying problems such as lurking learning disability. These suckers can be subtle. They can lurk in the very brightest of people. Attention and organization problems can hatch out of borderline disabilities, and once diagnosed, they can be handled and the person with them can manage them then excel. It could be as simple as a lurking food allergy. * I've got them. Once I managed them, I wound up on the Deans' list then graduated college.
• United States
31 Jan 08
We alreasy know of some of his problems and they are being addressed. Thanks for the good words tho', It's nice to know he has a shot at getting things together.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Feb 08
I am always trumpeting about the learning disabilities because I was diagnosed back in the dark ages, 1970's when knowledge about such children was in it's infancy. No one knew very much then about autism. * I wish your son the best.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
31 Jan 08
I never liked homework. I believe children should be free to pursue other interests in their free time. But a little bit of homework should be tolerable. I can see that you have implemented the necessary "punishments" like taking away his TV and video game privileges. I agree with that. But aside from punishments, you can also add a reward for doing homework or for improving his grades. Maybe he wants cash. Maybe you can offer a slight increase in his allowance. If you don't want to give cash it could be something else that he will like, depending on his interests.
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
31 Jan 08
I agree with wisedragon on this , now that you have taken everything away from him, I would try to reward him with giving something back everytime something is turned in,,but i also have a thought that if you take everything away he could be like well i dont have anyhting so why should I do anyting , I dont agree with takeing everything away from a child, I would give maby computer time or games or whatever he dose in time frames for doing good.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Jan 08
If he gets his grades back up above a C in all classes he knows that he gets gaming time back. Just a C, even tho' he is capable of straight A's.
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
1 Feb 08
Does your son like his teacher? I know a couple of years ago my grandson was like this he could do the work but wouldn't he also was ready to fail, come to find out he didn't like his teacher so he wouldn't turn in his work. This year he likes his teacher and he is doing much better. Good luck! I don't think your being mean at all, sometimes you have to take things to get theur attention.
• United States
1 Feb 08
e claims to like his teacher and even says that he liles school. is classroom grades are fine. e just cannot seem to get his school work from home to school.