Would you be jealous??
February 1, 2008 6:41am CST
Ok here is the deal i still live near where i grew up and my first marriage was to a guy i was with since i was 15 ( we were together till i was 21) and he was my bestfriend for 2 yrs before we dated. Me and my x had a close group of friends and in jr high i dated at one time at least everyone in the group thats how we were we dated within the group. I mean jr high what did a relationship last like a wk. Anyway i have 2 children with my x so we still talk and i still see him. He still talks to most everyone from high school and when i go there to pick up my kids alot of the time there are old friends/boyfriends there. My husband now freaks and thinks that i should just ignore them but i don't i am nice and actually enjoy running into them. Most of those guys were like my brothers. Before i meet my husband i still went out with those friends but stopped because of him. To me they are just old friends he thinks that somehow i am going to miss my old life and leave him! Which is crazy because he is my soulmate and i tell him all the time. Would u b jealous??
3 people like this
2 Feb 08
No your husband is not jealous. He is quite right and you are totally wrong. Your hubby loves you very much. He could not bear some one to come in between you and his relationship. He is your soul mate. Keep your soul sacred and obey your life partner. It is better for your good and ideal married life. Love with your present family it is very important. old is your past and present is basis of your future. Be for your own, your family, your husband,and your future.
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Feb 08
I can see how it would feel threatening for a guy to have his wife always out with people she used to date, but I think he isn't trusting you enough. Unless you started spending more of your time out with your old friends than at home or something, I really don't think he should make a big deal out of it. Especially if you've already stopped going out with them because of him already, and now he wants you to stop talking to them altogether, that sounds really unfair and controlling to him. I can see limiting the time you spend with your old friends because it upsets him, but ignoring them all together is just too much to ask, in my opinion! I wouldn't be upset if my husband hung out with his ex, or with old friends either. In fact, he spends a lot of time talking to one of his ex-girlfriends online, and it doesn't make me the slightest bit jealous, because I know he's mine. :P
2 Feb 08
I guess your husband is so insecure and scared that you might leave him over you friends or former bfs. If my husband would be in my shoe, since I also keep my friends - former bfs, suitors or not, I would still get jealous especially if they see each other constantly. In your case, seeing your exes are normal occurences in your life and it would be more difficult if you would hide from them or ignore their presence. I think it is better that you can deal with them casually than having to exert effort in hiding from them . The best thing to do with your husband is assure him that you love him so much and no one can replace him. Be extra sweet with him too and spend more quality time with him.
2 Feb 08
i think we're on the same boat...before i had my partner with me i was with my ex for 5 long years...we've been best of friends before we dated...when we separated we still hang out with each other as friends...wehelp each other through almost everything and treated each other like brother and sister but when my partner came in my life it has to stop...because he was jealous and insecure of my ex...he never wanted me to hang out with him not text him or say hi on the phone..not even special occasions because he will get mad and will freak out...even if my partner knew how much i love him it doesn;t even count...still..i am not allowed to see my old friend who had done so much to make my life better somehow and its actually pissing me..thats why we always argue when i'm stating my point about it...i guess they will never understand..so much possesive i think..
2 Feb 08
What a nice lifestory you have if only you were still together with your ex then everything would be very clear, he would have the RIGHT to be jealous but the heart doesn't listen to the words as you already know so I think I would be jealous for the same thing too. Since you say you are "soul mates" then there is such a special bond between you and that makes everything possible. I don't think it is very different than love. So, if he loves and cares for you it is natural to be jealous. At least, I would be :)
1 Feb 08
I can understand why he wouldn't want you to be going out with them but to expect you to stop talking to them is a bit much! I definitely wouldn't give in to that because really it's not a reasonable expectation on your husbands part. Most people we're involved with have a past whether we like it or not. I suppose I might get a little jealous in the same situation but I would deal with it without trying to dictate who my partner could speak to. I think you should be firm about it but try to find out why he feels so insecure about the whole thing.
1 Feb 08
I think that its just natural for him to feel that way, cos you seems to be attached- in a way- to these guys and he is bound to feel a little uncomfortable with that, you need to continously assure him of your chioce to be with him and make him feel secure. I possibly will feel that way too. Put yourself in his shoes, if he is running around with his old girl friends, will you be comfortable with that?
• United States
1 Feb 08
It sounds like he is more insecure than jealous. Sometimes there's just not anything you can do about that. In one way I can see where he's coming from, but in another, I see that as being very controlling. The most important thing in any relationship is that you continue to be you. If you change who you are for the sake of the relationship, you will end up resenting him for it. Maybe you need to try to include him in the friendships. Perhaps that would make him feel more secure. Let him see that you are just friends. Maybe he can become friends with them. Hope that helps.