Rough Day Yesterday
By carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
United States
February 2, 2008 10:37am CST
I have a very dear friend who I have known for about 19 or 20 years. We are slightly different in age, different religion and different race. I love her dearly. We are very close.
Over the summer she became ill and had a kidney removed. She's been doing well, back to work and back on track with her sense of humor. No major problem with the renal cancer as it didn't spread and all was well. Saw her two weeks ago at a softball party and she was looking great, doing fine and very happy. She mentioned the doctor recently found a lesion on her liver but it was not a big deal. Medication would take care of the problem. Well, I got an email from her yesterday, she was too upset to call, that she has Stage 4 Renal Cancer and it spread to her liver. She has been 3 to 12 months to live. I fell apart. Called our kids and ofcourse notified my husband. I couldn't deal with it and was so upset that I couldn't work last night. How did this happen I asked myself all day? Why to such a good person?
Am dealing with it a little better today but it's still haunting me. She has two children and a new grandbaby.
My question is: have you ever been through such a shocking experience with a friend?
3 people like this
5 responses
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
6 Feb 08
More like with my Mother. She had cancer 5 times, first 4 were in the chest, last one was supposed to be just a little that they could remove on the surface of her liver and pancreas. All through both. It's very difficult. You have definitely had a rough time. Take care and may you find some kind of peace.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I am sorry you're mom has been so sick. I know it's not easy. Will keep her in my prayers.
Am suppose to meet with this friend tomorrow night for dinner. She wanted to get together and I am anxious to see her. It's so sad. She's 54 and still has a son at home. He's in his middle 20's.
Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@Loen210 (1540)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Oh Carolbee,
I'm so sorry to hear this devastating news. And I reach out so much for your dear friend. I wish they discovered this earlier. Not to make you think she'll be totally fine and everythign will turn happy, but still keep faith in her. There are miracles that happen, adn cases where people can overcome, though chances may be slim.
So sorry. And I hope she can enjoy as many days as she can filled wiht love and support.
Warm thoughts going your way.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Hi carolbee yes I am going through it now with a good friend too. There was shock and then there was anger. Then I couldnt face her. So now I spend as much time as possible with her. I treasure our moments together. Just keep being a good friend to her. Im so sorry to hear this. And I wish I knew why these bad things happen to such good people. Hugs! Just live in the moment.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Hi Terry,
Yep, it is a rough time but I'll get through it. The shock has worn off and know that all I can do is be there for her and I certainly will. I am meeting her Thurs. evening for the first time since she told me the situation. It's not going to be easy for me knowing our friendship time is limited.
Am sorry you are facing the same situation. It's never easy to lose someone you love.
Take care and thanks for responding,
carolbee
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
4 Feb 08
With my mom...and she was my best friend. She didn't feel well and kept going to the doctor and they couldn't find anything wrong...but she could feel it inside her...by the time she had surgery it had saturated her liver....and colon..she lived 1 1/2 years...but they had just given her six months. She fought it with all she had.....but in the end it consumed her. I remember the day we found out....I was so angry I broke dishes etc. then a friend of mine sent flowers and the guy that delivered them had just lost his wife to cancer.....he came inside and held me while I cried. So I understand what you are feeling.....here's a hug from me! OOOOOOOOOOOO.....hugs Carol!
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
4 Feb 08
I lost both my parents to Alzheimers so there was plenty of warning. It's now a couple of days after the post and I am feeling alot better. I will support my friend and keep in close touch. We are meeting in just a few days for dinner. Thanks for your response.
@Aingealicia (1905)
• United States
2 Feb 08
First off let me tell you you are doing great and this is not easy for anyone, you, her, or her family.
You ask why should such a good person go through such. If you look and see, I often feel others go through what we don't have the strength our selves to go through, this will make a change in your life. It makes you more aware, maybe you are getting a a side you can share with others because you yourself have been through it. Even though she is the one going through it you are there with her.
My son has severe Epilepsy since he was 9 months old he is 15 now, my daughter had meningitis and lived, and my ex lost both kidneys.
Hun hold on it is ok, you are her special friend and you will be there with her. Also you have others you can talk to, this will be a help to you and you never know, someone else may be in the same situation.
Take care,
Ainge
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
3 Feb 08
Thank you so much for the kind words in your response to this post. It's now a couple of days later and I feel better and more able to digest the situation.
I am so sorry you've had some difficult times in your life.
Thank you for responding and have a good Sunday,
carolbee
@Aingealicia (1905)
• United States
5 Feb 08
You know I look at what has been handed to me and know that there is a reason. My son, gave me the opportunity to be able to educate people on Vaccines and the dangers. Same with my daughter. My ex was his own fault however it did teach me a lot there as well. It will pass and I hope you are feeling better today.
Ainge
