what kind of professional would you consider if you had a problem

@winterose (39893)
Canada
February 2, 2008 6:38pm CST
I am trained as a therapist, first let me say that. So my question to you is, if you felt that you had a problem or issue that needed professional help what kind of therapist would you go to. No I will answer this now, not all therapists are the same and you can go to one who will tell you one thing then go to another one who will tell you something different. It all depends on their training. okay so here are your choices, please not I am simplfying it for the sake of discussion but it is much, much more complicated then what I am going to write here. you have a problem it is causing you a lot of stress and worry and pain over the problem, would you want to go to therapist a) this therapist is an emotive therapist, and believes that feelings are very important, she or he will sit down and listen attentively to all your feelings, she or he might even cry with you. But she or he may not tell you how to solve the problem. therapist b) is a cognitive therapist and will help you look at the way you think about the situation, show you were your logic might not make sense, sometimes be more rough with you in order to get you to look at the problem in a different way, but she won't sit and cry with you sometimes even pointing out that crying is not helping solve your issues. therapist c) is gestalt therapist she or he will not listen to I am this way because of my mother or how I was brought up, he or she will say get over it and get on with life. Sometimes he or she will be very rough to the point of insulting you if that is what it takes to get you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and to do something to change the situation to make it better. which one would you choose and why?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
I wouldn't choose either one of them cuz you need a bit of all three to make a good therapist if you ask me; you need someone who will sit and listen to you and who might sometimes cry with you, but also someone who can be tough and let you know you need to move on and change, and who will help you reason and find solutions to your problems.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
good point there is a therapist called an eclectic therapist who will do just that.
@raydene (9874)
• United States
3 Feb 08
I also have upper level psy training but don't see it helping at times... When I'm down or emotional I go to one of the online sites that I work to help others..One of my favs is freerice.com The thought of me feeding hungry mouths has a calming influence over me. One of the reasons I do well with Shaklee is because when I build my business I know that it is helping others..people I will never see but their lives will be better because I make money this way...Planting trees in countries that need them and setting up solar power in small villages so they have the power to pump clean water..These are people that had no water for many miles and now have a pump in the middle os their village.. That is my therapy oxxoxoxo
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@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
excellent answer as well
@EvrWonder (3575)
• Canada
3 Feb 08
The kind of professional that I would consider, from the three choices above, if I had a problem causing stress, worry and pain would be a toss up between a) & b). A Emotive/Cognitive therapist for the reason that I like the therapist to be on the same page sort of speak. I wouldn't be looking for sympathy but more a sounding board with a trained professional. I would want to solve my own problems but under the care of a trained therapist. In conclusion, I have experienced both a) and b) that applied the c) technique. I believe that compassion is required in any case. A therapist that is too hard on a person already under emotional stress would not be for me and in a sense would feel rather impersonal and even borderline unprofessional, depending on the issue(s) of course. Not to say that you are unprofessional, this is simply my own opinion for what works and is right for me personally. I found that having the Gestalt Therapeutic technique was useful at the time it was applied. However, if it had been used in the beginning or half way through, I likely would of fired the therapist.
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
excellent answer
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
3 Feb 08
I would probably go with B. I got councelling after leaving an abusive marriage and that councelor was wonderful. He listened to me and then would pose questions that caused me to really think about my own thinking. He also had some helpful advice but never actually came out and told me what to do. In the end, rather than blaming myself for the abuse, i came to question what was it in me that caused me to put up with it for so long.
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@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
excellent
• United States
3 Feb 08
Having been in therapy for many years, all of my therapists were (b) cognitive therapists. None of them ever pointed out that crying didn't do any good. I was the one who was ashamed of my tears, especially in a group therapy setting. Other people could talk about their problems without tears, while I was constantly in tears when I spoke. In the '60s, I was in a Gestalt group. It was nothing like you have described. It was awareness-centered. "Feel the arms of the chair," for example. And I don't have a good recollection of the rest. It was a little strange. The focus was not on problems. I'm definitely in favor of cognitive therapy. A person who is objective and doesn't emote with me -- just help me see with a different perspective. Be supportive without being wimpy :)
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
as I said what I wrote was very simplified, because I don;t have time to write about about each therapy and everything it entails. No cognitive therapists do not say crying is wrong, I said that emotive therapists are the ones that will go mostly for that because they are the most interested in your feelings, emotive - emotion, cognitive is mostly about logic and who you see the situation and how you can see it differently with their help gestalt will never want to focus on the past it is all about what is happening in the here and now. some gestalt especially the founder theorist was very outspoken, I am talking about theory here, doesn;t mean all gestalt therapists will be that outspoken, and who knows you might find a cognitive therapist that will sit down and cry with you but there aim is not to get you to cry but to get you to look at life differently, if you cry they are not going to tell you to shut up
@Kerenhap (63)
• United States
3 Feb 08
Hi Winterose...I thought about this for a while, looking over the 3 options you give. None actually "fit" for me... But of the three, I would choose the Cognitive therapist because (supposedly) the point of therapy is that you are seeking help to 1)Solve and 2) Resolve whatever the issue is... The way you have stated it, Therapist A is not assisting in solving; Therapist C is assisting in solving, but (IMHO) if they are inconsiderate of the client's emotions, they are not helping in resolving the emotional aspects, only possibly adding more... In my opinion, the best therapist would be one who can be real, and while maybe not "cry" with the person, empathize, and create that trust and bond that is necessary to truly help the person come to a solution while maintaining and increasing their feeling of self-worth. No person really wants another to fix or solve their problem for them (even if they think they do). That is disempowering. But by the very nature of their seeking help, they are saying "I don't know what to do". Being in a seemingly helpless state (to them) they don't need someone to make it worse by further degrading their self esteem.
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
3 Feb 08
that would be the first therapist who would not fix and solve but certainly sit there with you and support you client based therapy another kind of therapy I didn't mention also believes the client has the answers even though they don't see it at the time they go to the therapist