What A Difference A Year Makes
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
February 4, 2008 4:07pm CST
How often do you sit and think about what you were doing this time last year? Do you look back at a year ago and think how did I get from there to here, or boy haven't things changed in just a year?
We talk about changing, getting older, getting wiser and remembering the past, sometimes fondly, sometimes not so fondly
I suddenly thought today as I was out walking in the countryside and breathing in the wonderful air, getting exercise and appreciating mother nature that this time last year I was contemplating a life of endless misery, on the edge of my sanity and seriously thinking of ending it all. I thought I'd never get out of my abusive relationship. Constantly rowing, constantly getting angry, endless battles, living on my nerves and I was generally a very very unhappy wolf
But now look at me, I'm free, I'm single, I'm sane and I'm very very happy, enjoying the little things in life like going for long walks, I walked solidly today for 1.5 hours, I refused to use my car and I wanted the exercise and I felt so much better for it, my feet hurt but not as bad as I now have comfortable shoes!!!!! No blisters at least, just hot, tired feet!
It's amazing isn't it how our lives can change so drastically and soon I'm going to get long term counseling and I'm off to my beloved retreat soon. I am going out and having fun every other Saturday and now I can even look at my old diaries without feeling sad, in actual fact I read my diaries and that is what sparked off this discussion
Just how much changes in ONE year of your life
So what were you doing this time last year and has your life got better or worse?
3 people like this
8 responses
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
9 Feb 08
I do this way too often. I think about what my life was like just over a year ago and I get depressed because I used tolove the way my life was. I don't like my life very much right now. Since last year, I have moved from Calgary to Winnipeg and I want to go back to Calgary, but my husband doesn't want to. I am so miserable here and I want to go home. I am seriously thinking about leaving my husband and going back home. I don't work here in Winnipeg and in Calgary I owned my own company and I gave my company to my daughter, so I can go back and work it with her. Right now the only thing holding me back is money and a car. I need to raise about $5000 to go back but I am finially seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I am working on getting that money and I think I will be able to, soon.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 08
Life is far too short to be unhappy my dear friend! the best thing I did was to get away from my ex and I havent looked back or regretted a single day that I got away. I know you are resolute and when you put your mind to something you will do it. Keep me posted, youll do it my friend!
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
27 Feb 08
Thank you my friend, for the kind words. I will be getting $2400 at the beginning of March from our income tax return and my hubby has allowed me to have it deposited into my bank account. I may be leaving then. It won't be enough, but I will make it work. It is a lot more than I have right now.
@mummymo (23706)
•
4 Feb 08
First I want to say well done again - you are wearing comfortable shoes - Yaaaay! lol Seriously I remember what you were like this time last year - I fell for you as soon as I met you, I think you are a fantastic guy and you have been there for me through everything, even when you were at your lowest! Just so you know at the time you were thinking life just wasn't worth it I was so worried about you that if I could have I would have been down there in an instant dragging you out of that place of never ending blackness! What else are sisters for? The change in you is immeasurable and I am so pleased that you plucked up the courage to head for the speck of light and change your whole life for the better and I hope that anyone out there who needs inspiration reads this post!
I am in about the same position but considering some of the setbacks last year I would say that that was pretty good going! lol Love ya baby bro! xxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
4 Feb 08
I owe a lot of my strength and my life change to you my dear sis! You were always there for me to support me, advise me and I knew that you would drop everything for me I only had to pick up that phone and knowing that kept me going and one day I hope I will meet you and give you a big big wolfie hug, I still have a little way to go but I know which roads to avoid like the plague now! My road to the future is much less rockier now and I looked back at my diary a year today, Mon 5th Feb, 2007 and I actually wrote I long to be free and finally rid of him for ever and it might just be this year that my wish comes true!!! Little did I know that on October 8th it would x
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
4 Feb 08
methinks you heap too much praise on me darling but you are right - I will always be here for you and I so look forward to that huge wolfie clinch, with wee jumping up and down shouting hey pal me next! lol I have always been at the other end of the phone and will always be here if you need me - you know that! I am so glad that it only took another 8 months and not 8 years! Love and hugs xxx
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
5 Feb 08
Well things haven’t changed much for me though. Things have been pretty same for me for the past few years and sometimes I do think it’s a blessing in disguise. We have a growing child and any kind of unwelcome upheaval at this point would not really help me in any way. Change, when it does come, should be for the better but since the future is not in our hands, I would rather stay like this for maybe another 10 yrs. One change though has been in my residence. Last October we moved out from our in-laws house and started living independently for the first time as a family. So this time last year, I was still enmeshed within an extended family, waiting to break free! I had no idea that within the next year (2008) I would have my own space. So in a way, the turn of year has been good for me.
Your post made me think about how we unknowingly try to stereotype things. I mean its more often that the woman is thought of as being in an abusive relation, a violent marriage, the weaker gender who tries to compromise as much as possible and the man as the brute. Your case seems to be an exception and I am glad that its finally over. We all have a right to breathe free and if a relation kind of starts choking, its best to break free.
@gandatwo (602)
• Australia
5 Feb 08
Yes I do reflect on past events,join the dots so to speak.It is quite amazing what one discovers when they take the time to rewind the tape,this lead to that etc.
Not sure that looking over the shoulder for too long is necessary,past being the past.I think somewhere from my religious classes in Primary school the story of Lot brings a lesson.So long ago..lol..but either Lot or Lot's wife looked over her shoulder and turned to stone.This I feel to be an analogy telling us not to spend too much time in the past least one may turn to stone.
Your trials and tribulations seemed to have served you well.To me you have made a huge leap from Victim to Victor!
No easy feat.
Great going, all the very best wishes for your furture plans and dreams.
"Cheers"
@Adoniah (7513)
• United States
4 Feb 08
It sounds like you are well on the road to recovery. Many blessings to you. I have survived two abusive relationships and will never let myself get into such a position again. It is so good that you can once again appreciate the little things. They ARE what make the world go round.
I deal with life by staying as busy as possible. I do volunteer work everywhere I can. I do needlwork that is not done anymore, like types of lace that folks have never heard of and then I teach it to them. This way maybe these lovely things will not die out. All forms of beauty should be appreciated and preserved!
Shalom~Adoniah
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
4 Feb 08
You learn the hard way don't you, survival is the key and we realize what we through then we would never ever want to go through again. I have given up on love and intend to spend the rest of my life alone, it's what I want and it's what my lot is in life, I have fun but I will never ever get into another relationship, too much pain and heartache. Thank you for your heartfelt response.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
5 Feb 08
2006 was the most difficult year in my life. but facing this difficulty I found new ways, new approaches and new friends with just the experience and advice I need.
2007 was all about improvement. this year is about keeping up with the change. Feb 2007 was the opposite of Feb 2008. It didn't even have a good start. So yes one year can make that much of a difference.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
4 Feb 08
Every year I am looking forward for the happenings of the coming year. @008 has a good start for me. Unlike last year, it is so hard. This year, it is quite okay for things are falling on proper places.
