Women Who Get More Than Their Fair Share

United States
February 4, 2008 6:39pm CST
Why do men get shafted a marriage goes sour? Why don't women have to pay alimony and child support? What is it the woman who get custody of the children. If a women marries a man with money why does the man have to provide the same lifestyle that she is a custom to, if she had nothing she should get nothing. It seems it would be cheaper to keep her.
3 people like this
6 responses
@danzer (2727)
• Philippines
5 Feb 08
Being married is one of the sacred union in God's plan. Man is suppose to provide for the needs of his family - wife and children. It is never a command for women to work and provide for the family. It becomes different when we view women as a material possession. Women are to be respected and cared for. divorce is never in the plan of God!
• United States
5 Feb 08
Yes- I understand that a man is the provider and protector of his family-However, when woman leaves the union the man is no longer responsible for the women, he is only responsible for the child, it's not the responsibility of theman t maintain her lifestyle--Look a Oprah
@sid556 (30988)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Every situation is different and all depends on where you live and the people involved. Now the courts are paying more attention to the fact that sometimes the father is really the better parent. when that happens, the mother does have to pay child support. I am a woman and I have been the one to get the shaft both marriages. My first ex almost NEVER paid support and the state did very little to go after him. 2nd one....he got the house and everything but my personal belongings. heck he even got the kids furniture.
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
5 Feb 08
There are some cases when women pay alimony and loss the custody of theur children. Take Britney Spears for example, she paid some amount to K-Fed and now, she can't even visit her children for sometime. I think everything is on a case to case basis. If a woman is proven unfit to have their kids, why would the court guve it to her? Same with women who are proven unfaithful or have sinned against the husband. they don't deserve a single cent is that is the case. I am not that familiar with other family codes or family laws but here in the Philippines, usually, husbands or fathers are the ones who should provide for their kids. In cases of separation or annulment, the wife and husband won't have any responsibility for each other anymore. Their responsibilities for the family will be focused to their children. \In cases when a husband cannot provide financial support because he is jobless, I think some arrangements are done.
@musicman6 (2390)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Well, it used to be like that, but here lately, I have been running into guys that have won custody of their child, and are receiving child support from their ex! I prepare taxes, and I see a lot of these cases more and more, it's really surprising, and I think that eventually, it's gonna get to the point where it's 50/50 !
@bowtieguy (5917)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Usualy it is because the woen get get kids and need the extra cash to make due. fortunatly for me my wife has pretty much taken her self out of the picture so i don't have to deal with any of that. It is frustrating to know that your money is not being well spent, there should be a law that the money can only be spent on the kids, that's what it's for anyways. Not manicures and personal shopping sprees.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Why does it happen? Hey 30 years of government reprogramming and societal reprogramming can do that. The main argument is that a woman is entitled to the same standard of living that they experienced while married. On the other hand, there have been plenty of claims and overall social dogma that women are strong, independent and don't need men. Wow condradiction already? -_-. And if anyone points this out (especially to most women) a barrage of insults, shaming or just pointless illogical doubletalking follows. There are a few women that do have to pay child support, and even rarer than that alimony. However when it comes to alimony and child support its mostly on the ex-husband. Also the total payment can be warped significantly due to poor (or greedy) family court judgment, or spousal claims. I remember a particular case where a husband was employed and earned over 200k but that was for only a year, his overall salary at other jobs was around 40k. When divorced, the judge assessed his worth at the one year of 200k and not at the current levels; meaning... the alimony was way beyond what he could physically pay. But do people care about this? Nah. In people's minds he's still a deadbeat, a fraud, a wimp, lazy, etc. Women get custody due to social programming and expectation, as I've mentioned earlier. Women are the parents, women are the caregivers, women are the better parents (all very insulting claims if read between the lines... -_-). Here is an example of mothers being very good parents and very good ex-spouses (mature audiences please) http://www.sportsline.com/collegebasketball/story/10567327 If society and women wanted fairness, there would be more respect for rational and pragmatic views of relationships, dating and marriage (and gross imbalances therein). Instead, people are quick to throw shaming language, insults and other nonsense if rationality is employed against the alimony/divorce establishment (pre-nups, cautious dating, etc, these are usually attacked or the person mentioning them is attacked). A sample of nonsense involving asking for a prenup http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=508419&in_page_id=1811 Also on this point, no matter HOW the divorce occurs, alimony is still awarded. It doesn't matter if she cheated on him, it doesn't matter if she abused the kids, none of the negatives matter when she does it (but they are oh so important if he's even ALLEGED to have done it). One other thing, alimony seems to be doublesided in another regard too. If she makes more, she can still claim alimony. Here's a nice example of it regarding a clown that should be out on the streets with nothing. http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=1663 Oh and for those cohabitating, you aren't safe from this either. http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1200996339591