Is it time to just give up on life

United States
February 8, 2008 7:56pm CST
Ok i am 18 and having the worst time in my life i am sure you all have had times like this. but the reason i say i am having the worst luck is because well see me and my boyfriend just recently started dating and we have been doing nothing but fighting and i dont wont to lose him . i love him to much to give it up now. Aother thing is that i am on probation and i got a probation violation and i might be going to jail and i am afriad that if i go to jail i will lose my true love.It hurts inside.. so badly and i dont have my fine payment for my proabtion officer.. i just am a loser.Another thing is that all my family has stop talking to me and now i have no family to talk to . i wish i wasnt such a mess up in life. well if anyone has advice please help me out here.
2 people like this
18 responses
@Loen210 (1533)
• United States
9 Feb 08
Hi Kristin (I assume), Yes, we all have many of our hardest times, often in youth like your age too. But things happen to us, and we LEARN from our mistakes. You are still young. I can't give any right-away answers, as I am not you, I don't know the full situation from all angles... But as a teenager, it is easy to fall in love, with hormones still shooting and forming. And if you are constantly with a temper, breaking rules, or unkind verbally to people, especially family, who try to help, can be devastating. And they can't be there if you don't show your appreciation. But I hope you will be learning from this and start coming together. Stay together. I hope that things will improve steadily, and things will be looking up for you. Good Luck, and try to smile now and then. It can help make you feel better, even for just the moment. :o)
1 person likes this
• Cambodia
9 Feb 08
the world is seem beautiful but it true for the people who is rich,for our life we have to study hard after that find a work.finally retire,but when we retire we are old already
• China
9 Feb 08
Please still hold some hope of your life.Do you have some good friends?Maybe you can share your feeling with them.I can taste your feeling because one year ago,my boyfriend leave me,he went to Chicago and had new girlfriend.I cried almost everyday because i think i love him too much.Fortunately i have friends,some in my real life,some just online.They all help me a lot.And now i always smile like :). Please believe me that oneday you will smile like a child again. If you need any help,please feel free to contact me~~i am glad to be your friend.
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Feb 08
if all you do is fight he is not your true love. if you only recently started dating then you can't know the depth of love yet. hormones, lust, extreme like probably but most likley not love. My advice, get rid of the boyfriend talk to your probabtion officer and explain why you don't have the money. talk to your family explain how you feel and that youre sorry. theyre family im sure they will listen and ask them for help. you cant do it all on your own. try to get a job and keep that job. do little things everyday to challenge yourself to turn your life around and slowly it will get better. stay strong.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Feb 08
First of, I think you need to start working on yourself first. Get through with your probation, follow the rules, and get on your feet again. I think you need to speak to your family... let them know that you want to change and you need their help. That's what family is suppose to be for. And as for your boyfriend, if the guy really loves you.. he'll allow you to work on these things and help you through the process. You need to put yourself first, don't worry aboout losing him... if it was that easy to lose him, then perhaps he wasn't worth keeping. Have faith... you are not a loser.
• Philippines
11 Feb 08
i agree. don't worry about losing your boyfriend. you're still young. you will find someone who's much far way beter than him. fix your self first. settle your issues with your family. i know that you family will not turn their back on you.
@Liasonfan (1702)
• Canada
9 Feb 08
I am so sorry you are going through such a rough time. I truly hope things get better for you. People ask me if I would like to be young again...and I say not on your life. Knowledge comes with living life and having various experiences. I hope you can learn from your bad times and start making improvements right away. One of the biggest ways to accomplish this is to adjust your attitude. I am not being mean or rude or anything, just start thinking to yourself...this is what I want from life. I can do it and I WILL do it. Only you can make these changes in your life and it all starts with faith, trust and confidence in YOU. Good luck and never give up hope. Sometiimes that is all we have. Please check back in when you have time, and let us know how you are doing. We care!
@Loen210 (1533)
• United States
9 Feb 08
Great response.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Feb 08
reading this made me start to water tears..this is so deep and although im not going through the samething i know where u are coming from..it hurts yes it do..but you have to be strong for you, not for anyone else..if he loves u like u love him then you and him wouldnt fight..although thats tipical in a relationship , but if hes your true love , fighting everyday is a sign of immaturity , being that you and him just hooked up. work hard and pray and everything will be okay..u have to be commited to the choice you make.maybe you and him need to seek talkin to eachother..maybe you feel one way and he feel another..hope this helped. -Brittney.
• United States
20 Feb 08
It sounds like you have become a little too dependent. You need to focus on keeping yourself out of trouble, getting a job so that you can pay your fine. It's tough, I'm sure, but remember that you're young and have more to live for than some guy. Yes, he's your boyfriend, but you even said you've just started going out. If the road is rocky already, what makes you think that giving up everything for him is going to make things better? It seems like you're just asking for things to continue rolling off track. ...and I'm a bit of a cynic/skeptic, so I just have to say... your true love? If you are fighting -all- the time, what makes you think he's your true love? Constantly fighting sounds pretty miserable to me. It doesn't sound like the fairytale ending that 'true love' makes me think of.
14 Feb 08
perhaps you should step back for a moment from the hard rush of reality, and think deeply about your situation... if you think you're a loser, one thing to do is to thing what it is you want to do with your life. being 18 is a wonderful time to be alive, your mind and body and awareness are all sharp, they're all ready to be taken advantage of... if you have the desire to do anything with your life, then now is the time to do it. And yet it can seem hard, and though some have it harder, we can only ever gauge our positives and negatives through the extremes of our experience, so I don't doubt for a second that you feel that you could almost give up on life. You say that you and your boyfriend just recently started dating and have been doing nothing but fighting, a lot of people may tell you that this points to a negative relationship. Well I'm not going to be so bold, perhaps you have a true love for your boyfriend that transcends argument and time. I know very little about you, so I will not comment, but I will suggest that at your young age you have your whole life to meet new people, and though it may feel like true love, you may not feel the same way a year, a month, even a day later.
@sam305 (74)
12 Feb 08
You cannot just give up on life just because you are going through a bad time in life every1 has these. If you want to stay with your boyfriend but want to stop all the fighting you 2 need to sit down and talk about why your fighting and really evaluate why the two or you are together and if you are making each other happy. As for your family, you should think about why you have had your falling out, then do something to make things right. Families are the ones that will always be there for you, so sort it out. Good luck
@david2005 (800)
• Canada
10 Feb 08
I don't think that you are a loser but I do think that you need someone to talk to. You should talk to your doctor about how you are feeling cause you might be suffering from depression.
@shamsta19 (3225)
• United States
10 Feb 08
It is such a shame you are having this hard of a time as you are so young. it seems like you have a lot on your plate right now and the only advice I can give you is sometimes you need to take a step back from life and look in on how you are doing. Take a deep breath every once and awhile and take things one day at a time. Tackle all of your problems cause running from them solves nothing but try and look at things from another point of view. Try to go at these things differently than you would've in the past and maybe things will get better. In the meantime, know this; you will have way worse problems in life I guarantee. thats life, we just have to be willing to accept these things. Hope this helps......
• Sri Lanka
9 Feb 08
when it's come to love it's not about keeping or having the person you love it's simply about loving without any expectations just give it time.........
9 Feb 08
The first thing u gotta do is,pick urself up,out of that self-pity..it'l do u no good,trust me.unless u act on something fast,things arent going to change much.so,the answer is "YOU"!find someone to stand by you,COME WHAT MAY!we all need someone to love and accept us just the way we are..in your case,u need to turn n confide to your boyfriend first.its not wise to hide it from him because it'l hurt him more if he comes to know about it later,or worse still,from someone else.tis will be the true test for u to know if he really loves u,since i believe,u r still confused.if he does,share everything with him,and both of u decide carefully how to get out of the mess.u can take the help of some mutual friends too..if it works,then u r already on the way of a happy n strong relationship.n if he turns his back on u,dont budge,he is a coward and doesnt deserve u anyway..there r still many of us here as ur friends..u r not alone..reading n replying to u says it all.count on us and feel free to let us know here..lastly,dont listen to the voice thats calling u a loser.u arent one,unless u choose to believe it!take care..
@makatas (1101)
• Greece
9 Feb 08
You need some sincere conversation with your bf.If you love him you can share with him your fears and concerns, and he will help you. You might find a solution to your problem. About your family, i guess you could consider visiting them and trying to make them understand of your position. I know that family has a bond that cant be easily cut. They care for you I am sure...Good luck in your life!
@skinnychick (6906)
• United States
9 Feb 08
Ok your not a loser but you definitely have made some msitakes and you need to not worry about "true love" until you clear your mess up and dig yourself out of it. We all have made mistakes so it doesn't make you a loser but you are very young and that is prime mistake time. Ok being 18, you have no idea what true love is my dear. No offense but you'll see that true love isn't about fighting and fear of losing a person. It's about loving yourself first then giving that love that you have for yourself back to another person twofold. That's not to say that people who don't love each other fight people do but it's almost always solved by communication- calm intelligent communication. At 18, it seemed like every single boyfriend I had was true love it was anything but. I have mine now finally and I'm 34, but I can't explain what it feels like because you just know that it is different and real. Experience helps you determine the true love factor and for that I'm afraid to tell you- you have to grow up a little bit, get a few years behind you, as well as good and bad experiences to learn from. Love yourself first before anything no matter what. As you start to dig yourself out of this mess you will love yourself a little more each day. You have your whole life ahead quit messing it up- make something of yourself and most of all be happy and everything will eventually fall into place the way that it is supposed to- you have to trust and believe that. I hope everything works out for the best...
@heathcliff (1415)
• United States
9 Feb 08
Yeah, you suck. Don't get me wrong, though, WE ALL SUCK! Our free will, emotions and thirst for new things drive us to stupidity, insensitivity and sin. What you need, I hope, is faith. Not in God, money or friends/family and certainly not in advice from myLot. Faith in yourself to overcome whatever you get yourself into. We stumble through our lives thinking we've found true love, thinking we've broken some cardinal sin, or just ruined our lives by breaking the laws of man, but ultimately that free will we all have gives us a way out. Communicate your problems openly to probation officer and family, but also take responsibility for your actions. Serve whatever time you owe in probation or jail as the best person you can be. Use the time to find what you really are. If that turns out to be someone that your family, boyfriend and even the law cannot respect then you HAVE to choose your battles carefully. Do not give up on what your heart tells you, for we need all kinds of craziness in this world. If the boyfriend is for real, the fights are just to make you better, only your heart can answer that. Problems with your family are usually communication based, but if they are too judgemental to listen, then you need to seek out someone who will listen (religious figure, psychologist, former teacher, anyone willing to listen), they may still pass judgement, but it will feel good to talk. If I had to order you to do something (as if anyone could, right), I believe I'd get you a job that was fairly hard and time-consuming. You'll hate every second of it maybe, but the lack of free time will keep you out of trouble, give you time to think and give you money all at the same time. You might just learn that you can rely on yourself and not be defined by family, a man, or even base emotion. I hope something above helped.
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
i don't think that you are a looser. you said that eveyone one has his or her worst time in their life, and now you are in that part of your life. I think you need to pray to gOD AND ASK FOR HIS GUIDANCE. yOU KNOW WHAT. IF THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH RIGHT NOW IS YOUR TRUE LOVE,whatever happens to you he will always be there and he will still support you.
• United States
9 Feb 08
its never time to give up on life. im kinda feeling the same way so don't feel like your alone. my family doesn't talk to me anymore, i only have my grandparents. im 17 and since i was 14 i've been in and out of trouble with the law and my family. i had to drop out of highschool and a career college. i feel like such a failure. i feel so disgusted with myself. i don't want to sound mean, but if you and your boyfriend just started dating and you're finding constantly then is it true love. or is it just puppy love? i once thought i was in love. . . i would do anything for this guy even though we fought all the time and he use to hit me, i thought i still loved him. as i said before, i don't mean to sound mean. i just know what its like. im sorry that your going to jail. but you should be afraid of jail, not losing your loved one. your not a loser. just a person who has made a mistake, like everyone else. as i said i've made so many bad mistakes in my life time. but the only way to get past them is to learn from them. if you need someone to talk to, im here. i know you don't know me or anything, but i've been going through the same thing.