asking forgiveness ...
February 9, 2008 9:16am CST
just wanna ask you guys your opinion about my situation now... My mothers elder brother and his wife was the one who pay for my tuition since highschool until college and when i graduated from college they encourage my to take the board exam so they pay all my dormitory, review center including my allowance, unfortunately, i failed the CPA board exam and i look for a job and found one after a year i got pregnant by my boyfriend and we both decided not to marry yet because we both are not yet ready. i went home to our place and my uncle kept on repeating and repeating that i didnt even ask for forgiveness to my aunt that i did that thing (i got pregrnant) but i already wrote them asking my forgiveness.... this really hurts me everytime my mom and my uncle talks on serious thing and suddenly the story would be redirected to me that i didnt even ask forgiveness to his wife so and so... what shall i do? do you think i should ask forgiveness to them that i got pregnant and didnt marry? i really cant understand them.. please i need your opnion guys... thanks..
3 people like this
9 Feb 08
Any loving relative would be disappointed with what happened after all their aspirations for someone they had dreams for suddenly gets into a situation that they didn't expect at all to occur. Sometimes, when we get frustrated or angry, we end up looking for something or someone to blame. Though looking for a source to focus our anger on wouldn't change anything, it just alleviates the frustrations that runs through their minds which troubles their hearts. On your part, if you are really still feel guilty even though you did apologize through a letter since you are affected whenever the blame gets redirected to your direction, just get it over with and deeply apologize to your Aunt and be brave enough to expect the rest of the dominos that would follow. Try to understand their side whilst keeping your integrity after everything that has happened.
9 Feb 08
Well there may be a lot of expectation from your family about you passing the board exams and you already told us that they really made extra effort to send you everything to school up to the point that you reach taking up board exams. When you got pregnant they are indeed disappointed with that decision of yours of course they also expected that when you got impregnated you are expected to settle down. The best I think that you could do is to pay them back at least thanking them for the effort they made for you to finish your studies and fully supporting you when you where on your review for CPA board but then since you flunk it then they really expect the least of asking them for forgiveness. Talking to them perhaps one on one would probably ease their disappointment to them. They are your family and i think they will understand and love your child if you return them some gratitude.
9 Feb 08
Please don't think I am being harsh with you. Just think about this from their side, if you can. You would understand what they are going through. If it had been you what would you have done? The same thing most probably isn't it? so how can you find fault with them? If I were you, I would face it, ask their apology and say that I feel very sorry that I didn't think more about their views. Give in to their love. It is because they love you that they are being hurt and upset like this. Everything will be all right. One to one talk will help you to clear it. If I was your mother I would have given this advise.
• United States
10 Feb 08
Sounds to me as if they come from the old way of thinking which is that it is just wrong...sinful even...to have a child out of wedlock. Also it could be that your aunt just feels slighted a bit. They obviously loved you very much and wanted the very best for you. Of course a baby is very wonderful and things happen but I'm guessing that in her mind, they paid your way because they very much wanted you to first become a success in your field. If I were you, I would invite that aunt of yours who sounds like a very loving, wonderful woman whose feelings have been hurt, out to lunch and have a heart to heart talk with her. Let her know that your relationship with her means more to you than anything else. And if an appology is what she needs....give it to her along with a big hug. I'll bet you both end up feeling so much better. I'm sure this is eating at her as much as it is you.
9 Feb 08
You can't really expect them to take things as if nothing happened because they also expected much from you. As long as you know deep in yourself that you asked for forgiveness already then I think that's it.They certainly would react that way because we are just humans and I think anybody who is affected with what happened would surely react that way. But show to them that even if you have failed them in this aspect surely you can make an acomplishment that will make them proud of you and that would be in some other ways.
9 Feb 08
You should understand they from another generation and their morale attitude is different from yours. They did not accept your pregnancy without marriage and how you could do that upon the education they give you, so they ask forgiveness because they saw it as a sin, and they were been asking forgiveness to whom tutorial them: priests, parents, relatives. Nowadays we ask forgiveness only to God or to whom we offend, but they are offended with you. You did not offend them by your point of view but they are. And it is not a difficult thing to be well with relatives, tell them you are not offend them it is your life and you are adult to do want you think about your life and it is not their fault, they did the better they can with your education, things are different nowadays and you would like they accept your decision. You might understand they will not accept but perhaps in the future when the baby born they forget all story.