How our grown childern are too us

@c2dwsn (24)
United States
February 10, 2008 7:34am CST
I have four grown sons, One we never hear from or see, he feels that his dad gave him everything that is wrong with him, ok so he is bitter, than I have two sons that live away from me and they are so busy I never see them and sometimes I hear from them. And our youngest who is home all the time, he is menatlly ill and has a hard time going anywhere but sits there and plays xbox with his friend who lives upstarirs, my question is whatever happended to visits? oh how things change, although today they have it pretty hard. let me know your view on our grown kids today
3 people like this
8 responses
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
10 Feb 08
I have two grown daughters, I live 1600 miles away from the youngest and 300 miles away from my oldest. I have seen my youngest once in the 3 years that we've been this far apart from each other, but it's expensive to travel that far, and she is struggling financially, and a baby on the way, and I make ends meet, with a little extra for unexpected expenses. But, she calls me at least 3 -4 times a week. My oldest daughter is married to the army, and she comes for a week's visit about 3 - 4 times a year, and she calls me 3 - 4 times a week. I also figured that the phone lines run both ways, so I also call them, just too see what they are doing, or how things are going. I also write letters and send pictures to my youngest. Have you called your sons lately?
1 person likes this
@c2dwsn (24)
• United States
10 Feb 08
Yes I called them yesterday and call them once a week. I also am limited for money and health to go see them often. I guess thank god for phones and email!!
@gemini_rose (16268)
10 Feb 08
Im so sorry that you dont see much of your children, I would feel really upset if mine grow up and never bother with me, they are still young and home for now so I dont know what you are feeling but I can imagine it is hard. Your discussion actually does make me think about how often I see my own parents and I can tell you it is not as often as I should. I dont phone them as often as I should either, telling myself that I am busy, I have 4 children, they will understand, but Im guessing that sometimes they might feel as you do. With this in mind I shall make sure I give them a ring today and hopefully make them feel happy. My view on grown kids then would be that maybe they dont make as much effort as they should to keep in touch with their parents.
@rosey3223 (1569)
• United States
11 Feb 08
I'm sorry that you are experiencing that!! It makes me feel bad about not being able to visit my mom. I'm especially sorry about the first son you talked about. You'd think that after some time he'd get over it and realize that having a relationship with his parents is more important than holding a grudge. Hopefully he snaps out of it before it's too late. As far as me, my mom lives in Montana and I live in Alabama. That's quite a distance from one to the other and it's really hard to go see her. I have three kids of my own and if I fly to see her it will be really expensive. We can always drive but we only have one working vehicle and it needs fixing constantly!! She has her own set of problems so it's not an easy task for her to come over here to see me. I miss my mom, we have a wonderful relationship, but it seems that money and timing and transportation are the ones that are keeping us apart. One day though I will go see her!! I hope those boys of yours that are "too busy" find the time to come see you!! And not to be mean, but the other one needs to get his head out of his butt it seems. Family is very important to me and it crushes me that I can't see my family...but at least I talk to them on the phone.
• China
11 Feb 08
I'm not the one who has children,I'm just an University student,but still,I want to express my opinion,as the only child of my family,I prefer to stay with my mother rather than going outside with friends,because I know she works hard,which in order to support me to go to the University.so I respect every mother,you are the best in the world!
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
11 Feb 08
The world today is so fast-paced. I grew up and moved on from my parents by 18. I loved them but I had little time to spend with them becuz i was making my own way. It had nothing to do with how I felt about them. You do sound like my mom who always complained that I had no time to sit and have coffee with her. I really did not...not really. I am a single mom and I have a full time job and a home to care for .....I am always busy. I did talk to her on the phone....I did take her to doctor appts. I did go and have coffee even when I really didn't have the time. Still, she felt always neglected....that I did not have enough time for her. In her dying days...I rearranged my entire life to be there for her each and every day to prevent her from going to a nursing home. If I was 10 mins late running to her house in the morning she would be all stressed and get really nasty with me as if I was wronging her when in my mind I was doing the best I could for her. It is our job as parents to raise our kids to be independent and in order to do that we have to be independent ourselves. I never want my kids to feel obligated to me.
• Philippines
11 Feb 08
Here in the Philippines we show much respect and love to our Parents and grandparents. We are 9 in our family. 7 are married and 3 are not. 3 of them lives with my parents. 2 of the singles and my eldest sister who is married to a british but her husband is in UK. I have another sister who's also married and lives with them but she's currently working in another country but her husband and 3 daughters live there as well. 5 of us have our own places to stay..but nevertheless we never forget to visit our parents..Every Sundays most of us are at home with them. During their birthdays, Anniversaries, Christmas and New Year we always get together for our parents sake. My sister calls even if she's out of the country. Now that I bought a car a make it a habit to pass by my parents house now and then and sometimes visit my sisters and brothers. For me my family is more important than anything else not even to my friends. Why not arrange a family reunion with your family so you can get together again. :)
@dragon54u (31628)
• United States
10 Feb 08
I feel your pain! I moved back to my home state after my divorce last year, I just couldn't live in the other place anymore as I'd hated it with a passion for 28 years! Unfortunately, my two grown sons elected to stay but they came for Christmas (I paid, ouch!) and they call at least once a week and I do the same. I miss them so much. But they're very busy with their college and friends and jobs and I remember how it was when I was there age; I sometimes didn't call my mom or dad for a couple of weeks so my kids are better than I was. Now I go see my dad at least twice a month and email him a couple times a week. My mom lives with me during the hurricane season and we talk at least weekly when she's at her own place in Florida. Keep emailing, sending cards and letter and phone calls to your boys. They won't take the time, so you have to. If they don't reciprocate, don't let that deter you!
@barehugs (8984)
• Canada
10 Feb 08
Have 4 grown sons, one lives at home and we farm together, 2 live on the west coast. One of those is a computer scientist and the other is an aerospace engineer. And the last (but not least) lives and works in Toronto, Canada where he is employed on movie sets and he also Blogs. I have 4 Grandkids, the youngest of which we are flying to San Jose Ca. to vist on Valentines day. Its difficult to see them often when they live 2000 miles away, but we keep in touch via email.Happy Postings!