Relationship issues

February 13, 2008 9:20am CST
Your wife get a phone call from her colleague at night 11 and the conversation continues till 12. How you will respond?
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1 response
• United States
13 Feb 08
I think this would depend on the context of the conversation, if it is with a opposite gendered co worker, and if you have reasons to not trust your wife. Obviously being oblivious to your wife's carrying ons is not a good way to be. If this is something to be suspicious of then it probably means something is not adding up. If your wife gives you no reason to mistrust her, and this was a one time thing that was involving work then it probably isn't anything. IF the conversation was more in the person side of things, then I might be a little suspicious of their relationship and if an emotional bond is forming and your bond with your wife is weakening. If things aren't going so well or seem complacent in your marriage it might be time to have a sit down conversation with her about how things are and how they can be better, before she starts looking for things outside the marriage. If your wife is not overly happy with the relationship with you, there is a possibility that she is having an emotional affair (not quite the same as a physical one but still it can destroy a marriage.) If you guys are not sharing your lives and feelings and thoughts with each other, she might be forming a bond with a co-worker. This in and of itself isn't always a bad thing, however as the relationship with you deteriorates and the relationship with this other man picks up, the physical part of the affair won't be far behind. Confronting her on this might not be a good choice because accusing her of something that she is not even aware of being involved in will only cause her to be angry at you and make you look like a jealous fool. But if you approach it in the way of looking at your relationship with her, how the health of your marriage is, and asking what could be improved and how happy she is, is a much better way to discuss it. This doesn't put her on the defensive. If something is going on and you bring up your marriage and how you want to make her happy, she may break down in tears and admit to getting too close to another man. Or she may realize that her relationship with this other person is inappropriate and will stop it without it ever becoming an issue. Just don't bring up the other guy in your discussion with her. Just talk about how things are between the two of you and don't turn it into an argument or let an accusation slip out. I have had some relationships with male friends that started to turn a little too much towards the emotional affair side. I pulled myself out of it without my husband ever even knowing. I realized how the relationship with another man was ruining my relationship and my perception of my husband. I had to cut off the relationships with these guys when it started getting to that point. I had one who did call me late at night to talk and that was just unacceptable to me. If you start doing nice things for your wife, take an interest in her, and maybe do something special for her or pay extra special attention to her, she may realize what she is doing on her own and you won't have to worry because she will know that you love her and she will feel the guilt of being too close to another man. This actually works we better than confronting and accusing her and it betters your relationship!
• India
13 Feb 08
Thank you very much. I am able to get see things from a woman's point of view. I will keep these points in mind before getting to conclusion next time she receive a simila call