Attitudes Of Teenage Boys
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
February 14, 2008 1:14am CST
Now first of all I want to stress that I know that all teenage boys are not like this. Also, I know that teenage girls have some not so wholesome ways. But I was absolutely livid a few weeks ago when I was on my sixteen year old nephew's Myspace page.
At the top it said, Find them, fool them, f*ck them, forget them. Now, I talk to people of all ages about this and their basic attitude was, he got this from somebody and boys will be boys. Like I said before, not all boys are like this.
I was shocked and terribly offended. But the reason I did not call his parents is because I know they would accuse me of over-reacting, as I admit, I have been known to. To me, this is a very sick and twisted mentality and he needs a good talking to, at the least. He is already acting like a thug in so many ways. What do you think?
8 people like this
12 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
14 Feb 08
I think a lot of teenages go theough a stage like this, I think it is because they are in no-mans land, they are not children and they are no adults so somewhere within them there is confusion and anger at the world, I am sure he will grow up one day...
@SViswan (12051)
• India
15 Feb 08
I would be concerned too and I don't think it is over reacting. At 16(or at any age for that matter), I wouldn't want my sons to be thinking in those lines and I would be very upset if I found that my sons were like that.
I can't stand the lax attitude of 'boys will be boys' whenever I come across. Even when I complain about my son (rarely) and I get that comment, I get angry. It's the adult's duty and responsibility to guide the kids and not just assume boys will be boys and let them run wild. I certainly wouldn't approve. I would talk to the parents (even if they might laugh it off). I need to let them know that it isn't right...but what they do about the situation is their option and I can't have a say in that.
2 people like this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
14 Feb 08
I really think you should tell his parents as they are the ones that should be screening his page. I saw one of my nieces post some foul language on her brothers page and I told her not to talk like that and guess what? she x'ed me off her friends list and now I don't have access to her page. I should of told her father (my brother) but I didn't and just left it at that. I hope that they are screening her page and their sons too. They are only 15 and 13.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
14 Feb 08
Well it just so happens they invited me to join their friends list and before you know it, once I started screening their pages and making comments regarding their foul language and sorts I no longer had access. Oh well, not much I can do :)
3 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
15 Feb 08
It is very sad to me when the children are allowed to roam free online. When I have children, I do not want to ever be so busy that I do not have time to look over their shoulder and find out what is really going on in their online and offline lives. It is so important in the days that we are living in.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
14 Feb 08
It would not doing any good to tell his parents. His mother is running nothing and his father encourages this type of behavior. I am not on his friends list for this very reason. They know that I do not like that kind of behavior, so I never even sent him an invitation to be my friend.
3 people like this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
14 Feb 08
I agree with you.. that is an awful thing to say!
To a certain degree, it could very well just be him trying to act "cool" (or whatever the "in" word is now... is it "sic"? if so, that truly is far more fitting).
However, from what you've written about his home life and the way he was raised, it's no wonder he has that attitude. I don't think there's anything you could do to help change that through him. However, if you are close to his mother, perhaps working with her to become stronger, to stand up for herself, and perhaps even remove herself from that situation altogether would be in order?
Good luck!
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
15 Feb 08
We use to be very close. I helped raise them for two years when they were younger. Their father had moved in with another woman. But it is because of her husband that we are no longer close. I just cannot deal with the way he treats my sister and the way he is raising the kids.
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
15 Feb 08
I understand all too well. You need to distance yourself from that toxic environment. I am sure your sister knows that you're there for her, and that she can turn to you if she gains the strength to leave that situation.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
15 Feb 08
Kids are different now adays, they want to fit in and be cool. He wants his friends to read that and think he is a player. Teenage boys have raging hormones, if you can, have a talk with him. At least he will know that you have seen his page. I don't like my granddaughters getting on myspace. It can be a dangerous place for kids to be.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
18 Feb 08
Yes, moving out of town may give them a new lease of life, so to speak. No person is inherently bad and a teenager needs more guidance than anybody else. Maybe the new circumstances will force him to look a life anew and be less arrogant about girls.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
15 Feb 08
Hi Rozie, I agree that it sounds terrible, but I don't think I would make a big deal of it. Your nephew is sixteen, and many boys that age go through this. Two years from now, he will probably be very embarrassed about it. I'd let it slide at least for now. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
15 Feb 08
All boys don't express this kind of attitude toward women. I hope you are right and he grows out of this mess. It is very upsetting for me. I didn't have brothers growing up, but I do know how some boys are. I just never expected my nephews to say such things.
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
23 Feb 08
If he were my son, he would be losing computer privelliges, that's for sure. I would also be talking to him about what is expected from him, being a young adult and that if he wanted to be treated like an adult, that he was going to have to start thinking with his head and not other parts of his anatomy. Teenage boys are very difficult to deal with (as are girls) and this stage of life for them is a 'right of passage', that is, the transition from boyhood to manhood. Doesn't make it any less offensive though.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
24 Feb 08
I do not believe that the transition from boyhood to manhood is automatic. A boy needs to be taught by example how to be a real man. This is why relationships in America are in so much trouble now.
Instead of being gentlemen, the men want to be players and the women feel that they need to be loose to get a player. It's time for parents to start taking responsibility for their children's upbringing and raise them properly.
@jonatechme (104)
• Kenya
23 Feb 08
You must understand that he is growing up and wants to be recognized as a man. It is upto you to educate him whom a man is as he has a distorted image on whom a man is, which unfortunately, to his peers a man may seem adventurous and carefree and thus f*ck and forget them.
Please don't lecture him, but talk to him softly and let it be an open discussion then you'll be able to help him. Don't even raise the issue with his parents, talk to him politely and he will have a reason to trust you and you'll have a chance to mold him.
@maabyy (34)
•
15 Feb 08
He talk the talk (or write the write), but most likely don't walk the walk. I am a boy myself and I seen loads of that behaviour from friends or just people I been in class with, and most of them might have a big mouth, but after all they end up on the crying side of a relationship break up. Might be im missing the point here and that this is not about the use and throw mentality of a player, but I am going to adress that anyway since thats what I got out of your post. I do not think there is much to fear for your nephew as he most likely wrote it to be cool or because its a quote from some random rappers song or whatever. Of course you probably know your nephew better than I do, so what do I know. Anyway I wouldnt worry about it.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
15 Feb 08
I understand what you mean, but a child that did not walk that walk, or at least have that mentality, would not talk the talk either. My other sister's son would never ever say something like that. He knows better. His parents would come out of a bag on him.
In most homes where there is a father and a mother, the children do not have this kind of behavior. But this is also the way the father is and his oldest son is following in his footsteps.
